Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Juttiza, the Halfbaked Therapist

The HB oriented computer program for troubled bakers
  (+14, -1)(+14, -1)
(+14, -1)
  [vote for,

> Hello, I am Juttiza.
* Hello, I … I feel burned out.
> Did you come to me because you are burned out, and have you read help under meta?
* Yes, but maybe I've been here too long.
> You aren't sure? It’s always a good idea to do a thorough search, first.
* No, I’m not sure - are my ideas rotten?
> You are being a bit negative, fishbone.
* How about this one, a wind-powered, flambé, flying turkey?
> Why do you ask - were you denied custard at an early age?
* Is it a good idea title?
> I'm not sure I understand you fully - sounds like bad science.
* Well, you attach a giant slingshot made of bicycle inner tubes between two trees and stretch it with an army surplus parachute flown like a kite when it's real windy, load it with a frozen turkey, pour on some cognac and light it before chopping off the rope to the chute.
> Oh ... no idea. Say, do you have any psychological problems?
* I don't know. I feel like it's a question of diminishing returns.
> Do you wish to be able to know you feel like it's a question of diminishing returns, or shouldn’t you take your social chatter elsewhere?
* I feel like a marked man, marked for deletion.
> Tell me more about such feelings and without puns.
* Well, I'm sensitive to criticism.
> Do you believe it is normal to be sensitive to criticism and that this is the happy cuddle club?
* I usually didn't give a rat's ass, before.
> Isn’t a rat’s ass widely known to exist?
* Is it really true that, "If you have to tell people your idea is good, it's not."?
> We were discussing you, not me. WIBNI you did?
* Well, how about, "It’s a good idea to not tell people it’s a good idea, unless it is good, and they aren’t."?
> Echo. You're not really talking about me, are you?
FarmerJohn, May 25 2004


       Might such discussions spawn new ideas?   

       (This idea could be extended to other halfbakers, but I won't go starting a list.)
Detly, May 25 2004

       This is not meant to point a finger at jutta – something of an anonymous, dominatrix-mother figure similar to Eliza. I think there are similarities between the impersonal jargon found here and AI psychoanalysis.
FarmerJohn, May 25 2004

       Very well written. HB-Addiction is certainly a very real psychological affliction with potentially crippling effects on job-performance for a start! Surely Jutta has a duty-of-care to protect our sanity by providing this AI psychobabble facility a.s.a.p.
dobtabulous, May 25 2004

       Jutta The Hub.   

       <ouch> <ouch> All right, all right - puns are boring to some, but the world needs more fun. Well written [FJ]
ConsulFlaminicus, May 25 2004

       [Zan] I guess you're jesting as I am to the left, but sure, we all need a break now and then.   

       Thanks, others.
FarmerJohn, May 25 2004

       I'm picturing the waugsqueke version...
DrCurry, May 25 2004

       Ho ho ho. Tres bien. Voila, un croissant.
spacemoggy, May 25 2004

       The image of Lucy from Peanuts sitting in her booth with a nearly empty can that reads "5¢" under a sign that reads "œ Bakery" immediately comes to mind ...
Letsbuildafort, May 25 2004

       Which conjures a second image of someone holding a football then pulling it away just before it is kicked....oh, the imagery....
lintkeeper2, May 25 2004

       he is not himself these days!
po, May 25 2004

       Minds more in cyberspace, please, and less in anal -
dpsyplc, May 25 2004

       Reminds me of playing Zebulun four years ago.
spiritualized, Oct 26 2004

       This could extend to those text-based adventures I lost many a night to.
>You are in the dark wood. Visible exits are North, East, and South.
>You are on the pirate's beach. There is a Cave. Visible exits are North, and Cave.
>You are in the pirate's cave. There is a pirate, a chest, a carpet and a lamp. The pirate is angry. Visible exits are Beach.
*Say "Hello to pirate"
>You don't see a pirate
*Kill pirate
>You don't know how to kill pirate
*be nice to pirate
>I don't understand be nice to pirate.
The pirate ties you to the chest, laughs hysterically and leaves, rolling a large rock in front of the cave.
>It is dark. You cannot see.
*Light lamp.
>You are tied to a chest.
>Handsome chaps remember caveat empor.
>I don't know what?
*Get me out of here!
>You don't see a me out of here!
zen_tom, Oct 26 2004

       >Open Mailbox
>The mailbox opens up to reveal a help file inside.
>Read help file
>It's about time you did something like that...

The help file reads:

Welcome to the halfbakery

       The halfbakery is a communal database of invention and speculation. Its users can publish ideas and add links and commentary to other people's ideas. +
sartep, Oct 26 2004

       the thing I like most about the HB is noone yet has said, "dentworth, you're strange..." in real life I use to hear it every day. then I closed all my blinds, turned off the lights and live only by the light of the monitor, my special, special, friend.
dentworth, Oct 26 2004

       Dentworth, you're strange.   

       </let out the air>
disbomber, Apr 17 2005

       I can't think of a witty response to this post, but I'd like to point out that I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
wagster, Apr 17 2005

       This is too funny :) + + +
phundug, Apr 18 2005

       Nice try [disbomber], but [TheRoberts] beat you to it, just before he self-destructed.
dentworth, Apr 19 2005

       Wow! [The Roberts] - there was one *seriously* strange HBer. I sometimes wish these deleted annos were archived - they could be useful for scaring small children.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Apr 19 2005

       [Bris] will have stashed them in her dusty electronic basement. Data archeologists will uncover them in years to come and spend years trying to figure out what it all means.
wagster, Apr 19 2005

       *I* spend years trying to figure what it all means!
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Apr 19 2005

       There's a way, but it will come at a price.
skinflaps, Apr 19 2005

       Who was this [TheRoberts] fellow?
disbomber, Apr 19 2005

       He was a less polite newbie than you. He's gone now.
wagster, Apr 19 2005

       I had forgotten about this one...
blissmiss, Nov 03 2006


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