Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Laundry Tongue

An alternative to sweeping my kitchen floor
 
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So you've finally got around to gathering that heap of clothes that were lying on yr bedroom chair, floor etc. You stuff them all in the washing machine, put in copious amounts of powder, and off it goes.

An hour-and-a-bit later you come back to the machine. You spend a couple of minutes impatiently tugging the handle, before the devilish automaton finally sees fit to release yr garments for the next stage of the process, technically known as 'drying'.

You place yr basket or bag beneath the open door of the machine, place yr hand inside the void within, and start pulling things out. At first, everything goes according to plan, as clothes cascade into the awaiting receptacle.

But then things get out of control, and the tangled mesh of trousers, shirts and underwear hurls a sock out onto the floor. As you try to retrieve the sock before it picks up the grime from its resting-place, more clothes hang down out of the awful gaping mouth of the appliance, tantalisingly close to the floor. It's as if they can't stand being so clean and want to dirty themselves, like a hippopotamus at a business function.

Herald the arrival of the laundry tongue. This handy attachment clips on to the lower lip of the washing machine's mouth, and is a wide, deep slide which allows the sweet-smelling clothes - with a helping hand from you - to descend at a dignified and gracious pace, into whatever container you see fit.

-alx, Apr 14 2003

Laundry tongue http://bz.pair.com/fun/tongue.jpg
[17Kb image] [bristolz, Oct 04 2004]

[link]






       /like a hippopotamus at a business function/   

       Heh.
egbert, Apr 14 2003
  

       About bloody time. If only I could get past the gathering the heap stage.
snarfyguy, Apr 14 2003
  

       //cascade into the awaiting receptacle//   

       Hehe! Have a croissant instead. (+)
Shz, Apr 14 2003
  

       -alx, nice to see you back before the end of lint.
thumbwax, Apr 14 2003
  

       Awaiting hippo to post. Must be off doing some business function.
RayfordSteele, Apr 14 2003
  

       This would be very nice to have at laundromats. It's horrible when you are assisting the washer in giving birth to your big bundle of clothes & a pair of your underwear (usually the ugliest or the sexiest) decides to throw itself onto the floor for everyone to see! *BLUSH* How embarrassing! The tongue would be quite a good solution!
funkychunky, Apr 14 2003
  

       ([RayfordSteele] - the original wording was 'a hippo at a business function', but I thought I should change it to avoid confusion with the aforementioned eminent baker...)
-alx, Apr 15 2003
  

       Expected this would be some sort of medical condition.
waugsqueke, Apr 15 2003
  

       I thought it would be a new way of cleaning clothes.
half, Apr 15 2003
  

       //I thought it would be a new way of cleaning clothes.//   

       Oh, I though it would be like a cat's tongue. If so it would probably out-sell conventional machines. On a related note, I heard a story about a housewife that complained that after her washing machine was serviced, it no longer shook enough on spin cycle.
FloridaManatee, Apr 16 2003
  

       A sure sign that its partner has disappeared into the Sock Dimension.
egbert, Apr 16 2003
  
      
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