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Linked Double Door Handle

To prevent disease spread
  [vote for,

Door handles used to be made of brass, a copper alloy with exceptional antimicrobial properties. Sadly, the world has since installed much less practical and uglier handles made of stainless steel, or heavens, plastic.

To mitigate the disease-spreading effect of modern substandard surfaces, I recommend doors now have two handles. One high & one low. The heights will be set as to divide the local population roughly in half. The handles will be linked internally so that both open the door with equivalent efficacy. Naturally, this will halve the number of people touching each handle and restrict the spread of hand germs to two independent pools, the tall pool and the short pool.

This should save one pool in the event of a deadly hand germ plague in the other. Sadly, medium sized people will be viewed with deep mistrust and probably persecuted by the surviving pool of tall/short Earth inheritors.

bs0u0155, May 12 2020

Footles are baked http://cdsmetalwork...or-the-foot-handle/
And a very good idea too [wagster, May 13 2020]


       This will half-solve a serious problem while at the same time making doors weird. [+]
wagster, May 12 2020

       Doubling the number of handles on each side from 1 to 2 halves the number of people touching each handle and therefore halves the risk of dying horribly from a terrifying disease.   

       Therefore doubling the number of door handles on each side from 2 to 4 has a similar halving effect.   

       I think there are other risks involved in opening a door, including the hinges breaking and you being crushed by the door, or there being an alligator on the other side. I think that a careful risk-assessment of each potential risk will quite quickly calculate the optimum number of handles required on each side to reduce the risk of disease transmission to within the background risk of other unlikely things.
pocmloc, May 12 2020

       I think everybody should carry their own doorhandle.
FlyingToaster, May 12 2020

       Why not have automatic sliding doors that make an interesting "swissssh ... swissssh" noise when they open and close ?   

       What if there are two doors, and behind one is a chest of treasure, and behind the other is certain death, and there are two guards, one of whom always tells lies, and the other only tells the truth, and you can only ask one guard one question ?
8th of 7, May 12 2020

       As a fringe benefit, tall people can use the lower handle on their own doors as a spare coat hook. Sadly the shorter people will not have this extra functionality.
bs0u0155, May 12 2020

       Sadly ? Short people deserve everything they get; it's clearly their own fault.
8th of 7, May 12 2020

       The obvious solution for everyone (except wheelchair users, whom most people forget when designing door openings), is a foot ‘handle’.
xenzag, May 12 2020

       That would be a footle? Shirley?
bs0u0155, May 12 2020

       // footle//   

       Ah yes, yet another of [xenzag]'s Entertaining Services for Sophisticated and Discerning Gentleman Clients ....
8th of 7, May 12 2020

       //I think everybody should carry their own doorhandle.//   


       It's more stylish to wear a pair of heavy boots with "ADMIT ONE" engraved into the sole, surmounted by a swastika.
8th of 7, May 13 2020

       No, it really isn't.
pertinax, May 13 2020

       Foot handles have been around for a while but may be making a comeback now. They're actually a great idea for people carrying boxes as well as people who don't want Covid. They require decent doorframes and hinges though.
wagster, May 13 2020

       //You don't work them with your hands. Should call them "footles?"// Comments, you can read them with your eyes.
bs0u0155, May 13 2020

       <Obligatory Blade Runner quote>   

       "If only you could see what I've seen with your eyes."   

8th of 7, May 14 2020

       Stealing it.   

       Not even sorry.   

       wags is right, no wait, Toaster has got it spot on, no wait bs0u0155, your idea is perfect, but wait xen thought of it first, Wow, what a collection of genuis here.   

       Now one of you make them/it/some.
blissmiss, May 17 2020

       Oh no blissy, we're just the ideation team. Production is situated elsewhere in... erm... somewhere else.
wagster, May 17 2020

       //Footles are baked// With those grips, I see a possible shoe event horizon.
wjt, May 18 2020

       If you were to have automated doors, then to have things to converse with while maintaining social distancing, the doors would be imbued with personalities, and of course then quickly become self-satisfied little gits with annoyingly cheery dispositions. "Hrrmmmmmmmm... Ah! Thank you!"
RayfordSteele, May 18 2020

       Me (approaching automatic voice-activated door): "open!"
Door: ....
Me "Open!"
Me: "open please!"
Door: "too late now sonny, if you'd said that first time you'd have been fine."
Me: "...please?"
Door: "not without a full apology"
Me: "oh for god's sake, the door is asking me to apologise to it"
Door: "Feck off you runt" <click of mechanism locking> <too-obvious click of speaker being switched off>
pocmloc, May 18 2020

       ^ [+] but Hal would never be so impolite. Chilling, implacable calm is much more disconcerting.   

       // I see a possible shoe event horizon. //   

       Can we interest you in a very nice pre-owned Shoeshop Intensifier Ray, limited hours, one careful owner ?
8th of 7, May 18 2020


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