Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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It might be better to just get another gerbil.

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on the toes and balls of your footwear
  [vote for,

It’s all the craze! Gliding this way and that, like Bambi on ice, the stunt kids in ball boots are performing knockout tricks and sleight of feet feats.

Innovative sports equipment is behind the popularity of this high-power pedestrianism. The boots’ uppers look like rollerblades, but they each rest on a tripod of urethane balls instead of wheels. Double, conical bearings hold the spheres in place under the ball of the foot (2) and under the heel (1). This means that like riding a shopping cart on casters, anything goes, any which way.

Under the boot’s toe is an ample friction pad. By contacting the ground with one or both toes, one can start, accelerate, stop, turn or maintain direction on an incline. Grab your safety gear, click on your ball boots and enjoy newfound 2D freedom as you speed forward, dance backwards, slide sideways or swivel in place.

FarmerJohn, Jul 11 2003

illustration http://www.geocitie...nie/locomotion.html
[FarmerJohn, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       How would you turn?   

       Maybe there should be a toe controlled braking mechanism for the sphweels.
Trodden, Jul 11 2003

       <Woomp!> Down she goes...
Tiger Lily, Jul 11 2003

       [Trodden] To turn right, one could rotate around a lowered right toe or kick outwards at the ground several times with the left toe.
FarmerJohn, Jul 11 2003

       I have a wonderful picture in my head of me, gliding along gracefully, possibly with one foot aloft, whilst pedestrians marvel at my skills. Sadly though, this picture will only ever exist in my head. The reality would be more like:   

       passerby: Morning. Nice boots.Are you alright there?
me: Yes thank you, I'm fine. I just like holding on to lampposts.
passerby: I thought so, you've hugged all of them in this street.
me: It's a hobby of mine.
passerby: And trees, you like trees too don't you? I saw you hugging a laburnam in the park the other day, and then later, a silver birch.
me:Yeah, I was comuning with nature.
passerby: And railings, you must really like railings. I saw y.. (interupted by..)
me: Look, just push off will you.
squeak, Jul 11 2003


       'Bambi on Ice.' The IceCapades musical. Watch her struggle to get on her feet, to Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture.
RayfordSteele, Jul 11 2003


       All of the disadvantages of Ice Skates with none of the control? I think I've found a Chistmass present for that annoying little eighth-grader that uses my garage door for a board ramp...
ato_de, Jul 11 2003

       So the only problem here (was two years ago and still) is the control. That should be easy: 1. Ski poles (or whatever they're called. Or 2.Foot tilt control - when the foot is tilted, you get friction (either by somehow stopping the wheels or by touching the ground with a rubber piece).
pashute, Jul 13 2006

       Still a classic.
RayfordSteele, Feb 10 2011


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