Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Lumber Tutu

Put a tutu on your lumber before you put it in the truck
(+3, -3)
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Driving home today I was behind a little pick-up truck that had about 15-20 long boards in it, they were probably about 15 feet (around 5 meters) long. Now I respect the man for doing his own handy work, but what I didn't respect was the fact that I had no way to gauge how far out the lumber jutted from his car, no emergency lights, no flashing lights, no little red flag, nothing. Also, the lumber, in the course of driving on a curvy road, had spread and started sticking out the side of the truck so now was it not only dangerous to stop behind him, it was dangerous to try to get in the lane next to him. I was thinking about a way to improve on this when I stumbled upon the idea of christmas trees. Don't ask me how they got in this conversation, I just don't know how my brain works sometimes... You all know when you buy a christmas tree and want to take it home some places offer to put the tree in this little fish netting kind of plastic. Why can't home improvment stores, like Lowes or Home Depot, offer a similar add-on to the people who buy lumber? Just take the lumber and slide it through one end and out pops a lumber sausage, too much lumber to go through at one time - lumber sausage links. How hard is that? Now, here comes the tutu part. I know you were all hanging on my every word waiting for this part. Put a little frilly red linning around the fish netting to warn other drivers of potiental danger. The linning should go on at least 3 sides of the lumber so that if it should shift to one side or the other it would warn the drivers in other lanes, and one for the back for the tailgater in us all. Some how ballet got into this conversation too, but again, my brain is synapsing in odd ways...
barnzenen, Aug 15 2002

any excuse to sing one of the python songs.. http://www.montypyt...scripts/lumberj.php
[po, Aug 15 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

(?) One of my favo(u)rite photos http://209.132.120....graphics/lumber.jpg
Note the exhaust, 10 bags of concrete in back, ton(ne) of lumber, shocks driven through floorboard, woman passed out in front seat. Snopes rang "true" [thumbwax, Aug 15 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

(updated 'wax link) http://graphics2.sn...graphics/lumber.jpg
[Worldgineer, Aug 29 2006]


       I would presume this is not done because of the weight of the resulting package. 15-20 boards, 15 feet long, even presuming something small like 1 by's... this is still going to be damn heavy.
waugsqueke, Aug 15 2002

       But what if the tutu machine was installed above the loading dock on a hight adjustable lever or something. This way the lumber would be dropped into the tutu and be placed in the truck bed.
barnzenen, Aug 15 2002

       I'm not talking about the contracter types who buy in bulk and have it delivered to the construction site. I'm talking about the guy, like bliss's roommate, who thinks he can build a little tool shed over the weekend so he goes out and buys his lumber by the board. Again, I think Home Depot or Lowes could take this idea and run with it a little. Tout it as a safety thing for drivers and tell the buyer that you give a discount to their already over priced lumber if they use it.
barnzenen, Aug 15 2002

       There's something I like about forcing lumberjacks and carpenters to have to deal with frilly things on the back of their trucks. You've really gotta be secure in your manhood to sport one of these.
RayfordSteele, Aug 15 2002

       Pine the sky.
General Washington, Aug 15 2002

       I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok... Somebody had to say it
barnzenen, Aug 15 2002

       Also useful for especially graceless ballerinas.
bungston, Aug 28 2006


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