Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Negative Telescope

opposite day for telescopes
  [vote for,

How about with all of these computers they do something like take a picture of the whole sky and then compare all of the parts where there is no stuff, so see if there is anything the same about all parts of the sky where there isn't anything, correcting for the influence of the known stuff around each spot. So maybe this would be like -- I have always had this idea that if you looked close enough to the side of the moon, or to the side of a black hole at the other extreem, that you would see bent light from behind the moon or hole, because gravity bends light, and that since there is so much stuff in the universe, it doesn[t actually bend it uniformly, every bit of light has been bent along the line a lot of times, more for the further away the source is and for the closer and more interruptive the interveneing stuff is, so that if you look closely at the edge of anything, like really closely, correcting for everything else, that you will see a little distored picture of everything else, or you will if you correct for the distortion with your brain, the most powerful computer in the universe, and since that is what brains are good at doing, that that is actually what all this weirdness that we call thinking is, is various navigations among the fields of time-machine-lense-to-the-rest-of- the- universe that exists around the edge of every particle of dust.

Once I pressed a jewlers loupe and a toy microscope up against my eyelashes for a long time and thought I could see into a time-machine like scene where moving my fingers slightly took me forward and backwards through a sceene of people walking through an airport-like sceene, and I was thinking that maybe that the lenses were breaking up the light information into a more sort of random state so that my brain was putting it back together so that it made sense in a different way. So that information was - is always out there, its just that as you grow your brain learns that the reading of trees and bushes and cars in the "here and now" is more useful to negotiating life - predicts survival better.

So maybe the best negative telescope would be a chaotic "lense" run by a biofeedbacky computer, that let your movelents change the chaos of the refracted patterns really precisely but smoothly so that you could work towards a standing point where your visual sense-making out of the chaotic light patterns could find a happy medium with your ability to adjust them.

Or maybe I should try a dating service.

Or maybe I should try not ending everything I think with a fish hooky little tag ending.

JesusHChrist, May 05 2012


       ... Is there like some secret grow-op in here, that I don't know about ?
FlyingToaster, May 05 2012

       1st paragraph:   

       Astronomers are already doing this, and have been for some time, albeit in ways that make much, much more sense. Examining gravitational lensing and the 'empty' areas of space that lie between visible celestial bodies has taught us much of what we know about the origin of the universe.   

       2nd paragraph:   

       What you experienced is a well-known optical phenomenon called 'parallax'.   

       3rd paragraph:   

       You should seek professional help.
Alterother, May 05 2012

       //with your brain, the most powerful computer in the universe//   

       Having read your idea in its entirety, I'm inclined to disagree with you.
UnaBubba, May 05 2012

       This is an ingenious idea, in the same way that diamond is inflexible.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 05 2012

       Must be very ingenious then, and in every way.
rcarty, May 05 2012

       Everyone in the US don't forget the super moon tonight. No telescope needed.
blissmiss, May 05 2012

       Whether this is or is not a parody...
I tag;

       //your movelents change the chaos of the refracted patterns really precisely but smoothly//   

       as [marked-for-tagline].   

       // Once I pressed a jewlers loupe and a toy microscope up against my eyelashes for a long time//   

       Didn't Isaac Newton do something like this?
Ling, May 06 2012

       People who live in an actual black hole must get perpetually annoyed at other people calling it a black hole. After all, it only looks that way from the outside.
Ian Tindale, May 10 2016

       Yes, but at least it would be a great tourist attraction.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 10 2016


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