Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Nelson's Column Toaster

toaster for long baguettes
  (+9, -1)(+9, -1)
(+9, -1)
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Most baguettes are 26 inches long. Some are even longer. None will fit into the average domestic toaster.

A toaster big enough to receive a piece of bread over two feet in length would also occupy quite a bit of space in a small kitchen, yet a freshly toasted baguette is a particular delight.

There is a now a solution to all of these problems:
Nelson's Column Toaster

As the name suggests, this toaster is a replica model of the famous Nelson's Column of Trafalgar Square. ie it stands vertically and has a small Nelson figure on top. This means it doesn't require a lot of room. The main column opens up into two halfs, to allow the upright insertion of a long baguette that's been split down the middle.

All of the controls are located on the various parts of the Nelson figure re on/off/toasting time etc.

When the toast is ready, the column springs open with a little patriotic fanfare, and the oh so French bread emerges fully toasted courtesy of our hero Lord Nelson.

xenzag, Jan 09 2021

Nelson's Column https://en.wikipedi..._Square,_London.JPG
now toasting baguettes [xenzag, Jan 09 2021]

Classic "Not The Nine O'Clock News" https://www.youtube...watch?v=srPdl2nZB84
Symbolic rather than representational ... [8th of 7, Jan 09 2021]

[link]






       Can it be configured to cook french poultry ? After all, Admiral the Lord Nelson cooked their goose ...   

       And we would like a Saturn V version.
8th of 7, Jan 09 2021
  

       The Saturn V5 was my first proposal, but I rewrote it in line with the added irony of repeatedly giving the French a second roasting.
xenzag, Jan 09 2021
  

       Sp. "french".   

       A range of styles is indicated.   

       Perhaps a "Washington Monument" version could be offered, too.
8th of 7, Jan 09 2021
  

       // two halfs // perhaps Sp. "two halves"   

       A life-sized toaster might indeed feed the entire Royal Navy in a single sitting.
whatrock, Jan 09 2021
  

       + well yes I really need that! i used to have a toaster oven which fit Larger slices of bread, but I got a regular toaster and have turn long bread over and put it in again. This would definitely solve the issue.
xandram, Jan 17 2021
  

       // added irony of repeatedly giving the French a second roasting. //   

       +
DenholmRicshaw, Jan 17 2021
  
      
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