Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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New moderators

  (+2, -52)(+2, -52)(+2, -52)
(+2, -52)
  [vote for,

Get new moderators - some that AREN'T on the cheap $5 crack as of now, so they won't delete my stupid ideas!
Akabaka, Oct 25 2005

Street Prices of Drugs, in Glasgow http://news.bbc.co....cotland/4216572.stm
For calum. [DrCurry, Oct 25 2005]

Worst Ideas, by vote http://www.halfbake..._20the_20Halfbakery
As of the 28th October 2005, this is the 7th-worst idea. [dbmag9, Oct 28 2005]


       [marked–for–deletion] rant.
jonthegeologist, Oct 25 2005

       Thanks for the laugh!
skinflaps, Oct 25 2005

       If you want your ideas to not be deleted, you can set up your very own site.
Madai, Oct 25 2005

       Or just type them in notepad and save them on your hard drive. At night you can open them up and pretend to annotate on, vote for and delete them. I find it most enjoyable if I adopt a different silly voice for each poster.
zen_tom, Oct 25 2005

       MFD, advocacy. “All moderators should be on high quality crack”.
Shz, Oct 25 2005

       I'll be surprised if you even have an account by tomorrow...
wagster, Oct 25 2005

       Akabaka: time, I think, to reconsider whether you want to post on this site or not. If you really like the place, kick back and relax a bit, or you WILL get kicked out (speaking from personal experience, I might add).   

       If you've had an idea deleted, then it was truly unsuited to this site, and you are lucky to still have a working account. If people have merely suggested that one be deleted (and I see that has happened to your "Cat Island" idea as well), then take a hint.   

       You don't need to post an idea every day, or even every month, and if people don't get your jokes, do the right thing and delete them. Straighten up and fly right.
DrCurry, Oct 25 2005

       Yeah. Those stupid moderators need at least $7 crack.
bristolz, Oct 25 2005

       Psst, bris, over here in the corner...
DrCurry, Oct 25 2005

       How much does crack go for, anyway? I've been offered it before but never actually got so far as to negotiating a price.
calum, Oct 25 2005

       What's crack, is it like a crackerjack pencil?
skinflaps, Oct 25 2005

       I find that the cheap crack prompts me to post immense, rambling annotations. The costy stuff makes me work efficiently, and so I never wind up halfbaking.
bungston, Oct 25 2005

       I'm only here for the craic.
wagster, Oct 25 2005

       But the cheap $5 crack is a much better deal than the expensive $5 crack.   

       (and I was hoping this was a job posting)
Worldgineer, Oct 25 2005

       Ironically enough, then number of fishbones that this idea has so quickly amassed shows quite an appreciation of the job that the moderators are currently doing.
hidden truths, Oct 25 2005

       It could be an expression of frustration at the cheap price of crack Akabaka evidently enjoys.
zen_tom, Oct 25 2005

       Crack envy?
Worldgineer, Oct 25 2005

       We all feel it, let's be honest.
zen_tom, Oct 25 2005

       I always try and avoid the crack. I get some very strange looks as I hop down the pavement. Black Top makes the whole exercise so much easier.
DrBob, Oct 25 2005

       Black Top? Where can I buy that?
DrCurry, Oct 25 2005


(Was that too obscure?)
angel, Oct 25 2005

       [Not when you have access to Google.]
DrCurry, Oct 25 2005

       leave Vernon out of this - if you know what's good for you!
po, Oct 25 2005

       Thanks, [po]. I don't do drugs, so any remarks I make here about crack will only get me tarred and feathered as a chauvinist. Simpler to just relax and let any Vernon-related remarks disappear in due course. :)
Vernon, Oct 25 2005

       crack-a-doodle-do - it's early - wakey wakey and smell the napalm
xenzag, Oct 26 2005

       <question for moderators>   

       Trying to highlight and then copy the word craic made a little Yahoo icon appear. When I cracked, I mean clicked it the web definitions popped up in a new screen. Is this a new Hb feature?   

       Um. no. That's all you.
bristolz, Oct 26 2005

       2 fries: sounds like one of those shareware/spyware things. You have a Yahoo toolbar in your browser?
DrCurry, Oct 26 2005

       Yes there is a Yahoo toolbar, but it's never done this before. Apparently my fourteen year old has been tinkering with the 'puter again.
Thanks. I'll try a spywear scan.

       New moderators? Are you claiming that the old ones have received too many cracks? The technical term is Wigner energy.   

       By the way, 2 fries, my computer is continually pestering me to upgrade to Adobe 7, but when I initiate doing so tries to slip the Yahoo toolbar past me at the same time.
Loris, Oct 26 2005

       I woke up next to that damn Yahoo toolbar last Sunday. It is a sneaky one.
bungston, Oct 26 2005

       I have the same problem as Loris - s/he's referring to Acrobat 7.   

       I still have this mental image of a child saying "Can I have a new moderator, please, this one's broken?"
DrCurry, Oct 26 2005

       I have an idea...change the idea title to "Nude Moderators".
normzone, Oct 26 2005

       I always assumed that was baked.
Shz, Oct 26 2005

       How about "Moderate New Berators".
lostdog, Oct 26 2005

       i would feel much happier having ideas deleted by nude moderators.
daaisy, Oct 26 2005

       woof to doggy <pats on head>   

       did you know that dogs have more words for woof in english than in any other language?
po, Oct 26 2005

       I didn't know that dogs needed more than one word for woof.   

       "Woof"... "no...WOOOF!"..."no... that's not it... "wooFFF!"...."damn!"
Cedar Park, Oct 27 2005

       Just out of curiosity, how does one become a Halbakery moderator in the first place? Are you approached by a mysterious and shadowy figure, or is it more of an 'email Jutta and ask' sort of affair? Do you guys actually get paid in crack?
zen_tom, Oct 27 2005

       Just email some crack, that should get you in.
skinflaps, Oct 27 2005

       I actually get them from a breeder in Newfoundland.
jutta, Oct 27 2005

       /Halbakery moderator/ - "Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this."
bungston, Oct 27 2005

       I just found out that an Adobe is a 'Sun baked brick'. I wish I hadn't bothered.
Ling, Oct 27 2005

       I thought Adobe was one of [UB]’s pets.
Shz, Oct 27 2005

       I thought it was slang for cannabis.
angel, Oct 27 2005

       Good moderators are not made, they are bred... specifically to be abused, and to abuse, or so it now seems.   

       In the wings, heroin addicted moderators. One glitch, they keep puking on their keyboards, and they're never awake when you need em.
blissmiss, Oct 27 2005

       Abuse? Never. Bite? Sometimes.
bristolz, Oct 27 2005

       New moderators, get your new moderators here! Buy two, get one free!
DrCurry, Oct 27 2005

       //You don't need to post an idea every day, or even every month//   

       One per month would be quite frequent for me.
Detly, Oct 28 2005

       Quality, not quantity. Amen.
blissmiss, Oct 28 2005

       I wasn't going down that road for a reason...
Detly, Oct 28 2005

       I do admire a modest man.
po, Oct 28 2005

       If humility were dust, I would be a neutron star.
Detly, Oct 28 2005

       Has anyone tried to live on dust? you know like a vegetarian - I once remember breatherians, who lived on a diet of air alone. Could there be dusterians? and if there were, and I was one of them, we could feed on Detly's neutron star sized stash for a long time. I was also wondering - if Akabaka's idea gets deleted, does that mean that the Moderators have just confirmed that they really are on the $5 crack? It's quite a conundrum, because if they try to confound that argument by not deleting then have they have equally proved Ak's assertion. Either way AK wins - hmmmm - pass me another helping of that neutron star dust.
xenzag, Oct 28 2005

       //breatherians, who lived on a diet of air alone// - The chief breatherian was photographed a couple of times snacking on a chocolate digestive.
wagster, Oct 28 2005

       I'm shocked, deeply shocked!
DrCurry, Oct 28 2005

       Would this fantastical beast be a modesterator?
elhigh, Oct 28 2005

       You know that feeling when you walk into a room and realise that you really shouldn't have walked in?...
Jinbish, Oct 28 2005

       [locks door]
st3f, Oct 28 2005

       Wasn't David Blane a breatherian? Or did he survive off of thrown tomatoes? Actually, I never heard the end of that story - did he ever come down?
Worldgineer, Oct 28 2005

       Wow, only 3 days and this is already the 7th-worst idea on the Halfbakery (based on the view I have, which uses the votes to make a list). See [linky].
dbmag9, Oct 28 2005

       //Wasn't David Blane a breatherian? ... Actually, I never heard the end of that story - did he ever come down?//   


       //if Akabaka's idea gets deleted, does that mean that the Moderators have just confirmed that they really are on the $5 crack?//   

       Post an idea : "Moderators are on $5 crack - destroy if true" and find out for definite.   

       //Wow, only 3 days and this is already the 7th-worst idea on the Halfbakery (based on the view I have, which uses the votes to make a list).//   

       Hey, there are 2 ways of moving this idea up to its deserved place atop the list:   

       1) vote against this idea
2) vote *for* the ideas above it.
Loris, Oct 28 2005

       I've read them all and not one of them deserves to be voted for. This has actually happened a couple of times lately. I think "Animal Fights" got to about 9th place back in August. Such things rarely last anymore, because they get MFD'd. And much as it would be a hell of a compliment to the moderators if this idea got to #1 worst, even if it did last a while longer, I think #3 is about the roof for modern ideas. I'm quite curious as to who actually voted for this (assuming one vote is [Alabaka]'s).
hidden truths, Oct 28 2005

       I don't know, the one to beat is "Vagina Jam", which clearly a controversial one.   

       I myself have already voted for "Mandatory acceleration limit", which I think is actually quite a good idea.
Loris, Oct 28 2005

       I wouldn't call Vagina Jam controversial, just tasteless (I'm going to regret that sentence).
hidden truths, Oct 28 2005

       < snigger >
DrBob, Oct 28 2005

       Now let's not get immoderate...
egbert, Oct 28 2005

       <Dave Barry> "New Moderators" would be an excellent name for an on-line rock band. </DB>
ato_de, Oct 28 2005

       Throw more negagtive votes at Danger Bunny. It's not even in the bottom twenty worst ideas!
notmarkflynn, May 02 2006

       a) This isn't the place.
b) Danger bunny isn't really an invention so I wouldn't push it.
c)Why do you want to be on a list of crappy ideas anyway?
d) Still not the place. You just lost one negative vote.
hidden truths, May 02 2006

       I'm adding a bun, for no other reason than this is the best thread I've read in a long time.
AfroAssault, May 02 2006

       Damn, [ato_de] beat me to the New Moderaters band name. But I could always call my group The Adobe Seven.
normzone, May 03 2006

       [angel], touche. Oh wait. I think now you were talking about a musician. I thought ... nevermind.
Zimmy, May 03 2006

       Does World or Warcrack count? For the Horde!!
sartep, May 03 2006

       I don't quite understand because this person [Akabaka] states that his/her ideas are STUPID anyway...and the first post is an MFD and this stupid idea is still here....cracked.
xandram, May 03 2006

       It's probably still here because of all the comments on it.
notmarkflynn, May 03 2006

       Clearly the mods are too busy with $5 crack to delete it.
hidden truths, May 03 2006

       Oh puh-lease, halfbakery is the crack that's free.
sartep, May 03 2006

       "Don't meddle in the affairs of The Moderators, for your account is crunchy and tastes good with ketchup"
methinksnot, May 03 2006

       sp: craic
po, May 03 2006

       I think I have yet to delete an account, mostly I just re-file ideas that are lazily put in the Other: General folder or similarly misfiled. There is the occasional advertisement.
sartep, May 03 2006

       All right then: "Don't meddle in the affairs of The Moderators, for your postings may be efficiently re-filed, thereby increasing the enjoyment of the site by other users, and advertisements may be removed to keep the site as intended"
methinksnot, May 03 2006

       That works for me.
sartep, May 03 2006

       What if one day a depressed and angry moderator goes on a Columbine-style rampage through the 'bakery deleting accounts and threads at random ending with their own? Oh yeah - it's all backed up now. Shame we can't do that with kids.
wagster, May 03 2006

       This place cracks me up daily.   

       Who's Daly? And why is it his fault?
Jinbish, Mar 14 2007

       would the new, improved moderators, be called modernators ?
xenzag, Mar 14 2007

       The old one's (1960's) would be called "Mods", and all other types would be "Rockers".
Ling, Mar 14 2007

       Don't you just hate reading an anno you posted ages ago and thinking - what was I on about?
wagster, Mar 14 2007

       I quite like reading annos that you posted long ago and thinking "What was he on about?". But I'm strange that way.
DrBob, Mar 14 2007

       I deleted the one I wrote as being waaay tooo sensible
xenzag, Mar 14 2007

       But now there's a crack in the annos.
Worldgineer, Mar 14 2007

       What do you mean a crack in the annos? I'm writing on this page and I can't see any craAAAAAAAaaaaaaarrrrgh.... <fades to silence>
wagster, Mar 14 2007

       what's the crack? - well known expression where I come from.
xenzag, Mar 14 2007

       Had to have a laugh.... bakery not daft enough for me these days, so churning this one. Ha! I love it.
xenzag, May 25 2014

       Time for an update from our cheap $5 crack-a-holic moderators. Well?
xenzag, Sep 03 2017

       Given the continuing advance of pharmacological science, there has to be an upgrade available by now, shirley ?   

       Is there an equivalent of Moore's Law for illicit stimulants ?
8th of 7, Sep 03 2017

       There is, but it only applies if you have access to the full catalogue of Sigma-Aldrich.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 03 2017

       You mean some people don't ? Well, who knew, huh ... ?   

       What would life be like without a big jar of 2,4-DNPH slowly drying out under the Office Victim's desk ?
8th of 7, Sep 03 2017

       If you mean 2,4-dinitrophenol, I actually do have a big jar of it, and have dried it out in a 37° incubator to the point where it's a free-flowing powder. It hasn't exploded. It has been sitting on a shelf for at least six months quite happily.   

       <2 minutes later> I have just tried heating a couple of hundred mg of it in a bunsen flame. It melts, and then burns with a smokey flame and leaves gunk on my spatula. Very disappointing.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 03 2017

       Get two spatulas, or better, teaspoons. Fill the bowl of one level with powder, place the other bowl-down on top. Rest on a hard surface and drop a brick on it.   

       If you want to initiate the whole jar, you'll need to - very gently - tamp it down, with a hardwood rod and mallet. Then, you'll find that a mousetrap, a length of string*, and some toy pistol caps, will provide short-lived but spectacular entertainment.   

       *The length of the string has a direct correlation to how brave - or stupid - you are**.   

       ** The two qualities are, in some circumstances, not easily distinguishable.
8th of 7, Sep 03 2017

       I suspect that you may have in mind 2,4-DNP Hydrazine, which is apparently a different beast from 2,4-DNP.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 03 2017

       Yes, it is. We did actually specify "DNPH" ...   

       Alternatively, you can just mix up a bucket of Tollens' reagent- mind you, silver nitrate isn't cheap. Fortunately, there are a whole range of amusing metallic acetylides, nitrides and styphnates that can be easily and cheaply produced.
8th of 7, Sep 03 2017

       Have you two take up the moderator crack challenge? Will you be experimenting on each other? Can I watch?
xenzag, Sep 03 2017

       Television must be awfully dull in france.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 03 2017

       I'm sure it is, but maybe you could sell them rights to the video of your cake mixing session with 8th of 7 to attract even more viewers. He seems very eager to please :-)
xenzag, Sep 03 2017

       // Television must be awfully dull in france. //   

       Everything is awfully dull in france, except the police, who tend to be far more enthusiastic and exciting than is wise, safe or reasonable.   

       To be fair, though, the average number of unarmed black teenagers they murder is a little less than in the USA.
8th of 7, Sep 03 2017

       They have good trains, (and croissants) but then everywhere in Europe has good trains. (except the UK where they are total crap - ie ultra expensive, overcrowded, and as slow as molasses) Some of my favourite artists are French as well.
xenzag, Sep 03 2017

       // They have good trains, //   

       ... invented in England ...   

       // (and croissants) //   

       ... invented in Italy ...   

       // everywhere in Europe has good trains. //   

       Including Albania ? That's in Europe, technically...   

       // (except the UK where they are total crap - ie ultra expensive, overcrowded, and as slow as molasses) //   

       That's London. The Smoke Is A Different Country ... They Do Things Differently There ...   

       // Some of my favourite artists are French as well. //   

       Don't despair, treatment is available.
8th of 7, Sep 03 2017

       //They// Sp.: "nous", shirley?
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 03 2017

       Don't encourage the use of an archaic, irrelevant language. English has alreadly borowed all the words worth having ... the rest is (or soon will be) history.   

       If you really must, use something a bit more with-it and current, like Etruscan ...
8th of 7, Sep 03 2017

       Invented in England, and the originals are still running - hence the problem. The UK used to be a great country, but it's falling apart due to decades of no investment in infrastructure. Compared to Spain, Germany, France, Holland etc it's quite a sad experience trying to actually go anywhere by road or rail, but the humour is good. (you have to laugh in the face of adversity) Bring out le crack! Bring out la fish and les chips. Bring out les waddling drunks with les beer bellies....hand over les 100 Billion to get lost from the EU - yikes it's happening - I'm turning Frog. ha
xenzag, Sep 03 2017

       // the originals are still running //   

       That's because they were really, really well designed and built.   

       // - hence the problem. //   

       What, millions of visitors coming from all over the planet to see the places it all started ... ?   

       // The UK used to be a great country, //   

       England still is. It's the others that drag the place down.   

       // but it's falling apart due to decades of no investment in infrastructure. //   

       ... because the EU has been leeching all the money.   

       // Compared to Spain, Germany, France, Holland etc it's quite a sad experience trying to actually go anywhere by road or rail, //   

       You're doing it wrong.   

       // but the humour is good. //   

       The humour is outstanding; world class. England has exported unrestrained hilarity to many parts of the globe, although of course Boris may not stay at the Foreign Office indefinitely.   

       // (you have to laugh in the face of adversity) //   

       Strange, the Belgians seem a gloomy bunch ....   

       // Bring out le crack! Bring out la fish and les chips. //   

       Soon, though, not fish from English territorial waters (Sp. "the sea. All of it".)   

       // Bring out les waddling drunks with les beer bellies....//   

       Sorry, not many Germans close to hand, apart from Windsor - and most of the Royals are quite slim ...   

       // hand over les 100 Billion to get lost from the EU - //   

       Sure. Come and get it.   

       Remind us again, how big are the EU's armed forces ? How many EU members haven't received a Right Drubbing at the hands of the Anglo-Saxons - except, of course, the ones that didn't dare try ?   

       // yikes it's happening - I'm turning Frog. ha //   

       More deserving of pity than condemnation.
8th of 7, Sep 03 2017

       //an archaic, irrelevant language// It is very difficult to say "Garcon! Where the fuck is my foie gras??" in English.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 03 2017

       "Oi ! You ! Froggy waiter bugger ! Where's my goose-liver meat paste, you revolting little prole ? Come on, chop-chop ... do you remember Agincourt ? Waterloo ? Get a move on, if you know what's good for you, or I'll kick your smelly arse. Again."
8th of 7, Sep 03 2017

       So, you have the _abridged_ OED that starts with "aquarium" then?
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 03 2017

       // abridged //   

       "Cleansed" might be a better term ...
8th of 7, Sep 03 2017

       You two make a great double act. Do you use your connecting umbilical cord for skipping performances?
xenzag, Sep 03 2017

       No, garotting foreigners.   

       Re-reading the title, we are disappointed that there's no mention of developing improved formulations for materials to decelerate fast neutrons into thermal ones.
8th of 7, Sep 03 2017

       I'm churning this one again, again. Every time I read it, along with its annotations, it makes me laugh, and serves as a reminder of how great this place used to be. It was posted in the year I first came here by the way.
xenzag, Dec 21 2022

       I laughed out loud too! Thank you for posting it xen, I don't know whether to join the bone storm or bun it for its sheer hilarity.
doctorremulac3, Dec 21 2022


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