Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Non-Newtonian Squash

Because it would be ridiculous with any other sport.
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The squash court's walls are of the normal dimensions. In fact, from out side, the court seems completely normal. But don't walk in there... run, because the floor of the court is actually a 2-foot deep custard pit.

Players in this new "cardio" sport have to keep moving continuously to avoid sinking knee-deep into the viscous goop. If they want to stay in one place, they have to hop up and down. Of course, the fact that the room is refrigerated helps a bit... but not too much.

DrWorm, Sep 18 2009

A non-custardish dilatant. http://www.breitbart.tv/?p=6322
Yay. [MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 19 2009]

HFCS http://www.westonap...d/highfructose.html
Ubiquitous in the US diet, derived from cornstarch, and a major health hazard when overconsumed. [egbert, Sep 21 2009]


       are there sharks?
pocmloc, Sep 18 2009

       This is probably one of the finest custard-themed ideas on the ery.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 18 2009

       author seems very vague on the actual properties of semi-solids. Needless to say jumping up and down isn't going to prevent you from sinking into a custard pit. I was personally hoping for a game of squash where Newtonian laws of motion were suspended and the ball exhibited inexplicable changes in speed.
WcW, Sep 18 2009

       Ditto, WcW, perhaps quantum squash, where the ball is liable to change direction and speed in response to the direction and speed of the players hand, or to disappear at random and reappear as two or three balls
Sparkyplugclean, Sep 18 2009

       this would make water polo a lot easier, and rugby less painful. i like it!   

       let's do a quick cost on this. a serving of jello is 1/2cup, and jello-brand custard costs about $30 for 100 servings per a Google Shopping search. A regulation squash court is 21' W X 32' L, so that's a volume of 1344ft^3, or 321,723 1/2cup servings. So, cost would be $96,500?! Oog. Assuming a 70% price break for quantity, that still comes out to almost $30k. Maybe cornstarch is cheaper? In any case this strikes me as incredibly self-indulgent, but not much more so than most things most of us computer-owning people do most of the time.
sninctown, Sep 19 2009

       It's cheaper in bulk. About $110.00 U.S. for a 25 lb bag. (+)   

       //this would make water polo a lot easier, and rugby less painful.//   

       Would make Olympic high diving much more interesting too.
jellydoughnut, Sep 19 2009

       Maybe that needs some clarification in the idea itself, as well as in the other ideas where the "custard" in reference is best made up in a cement mixer, so the layman is not confusing that kind of "custard" with the "custard" that he/she may eat without becoming ill.
WcW, Sep 19 2009

       you know, maybe, just maybe, "custard" isn't what you should call it. I just hope that you would consider that. please.
WcW, Sep 19 2009

       <obligatory> I thought this would ne an idea about a marrow that moves slightly whenever you tried to focus on it.... </obligatory>
gnomethang, Sep 19 2009

       "Custard" is becoming a bit wearying.... There are more inventive ways of messing with the game of Squash. (having said that bone is not mine)
xenzag, Sep 19 2009

       [WcW], originally I was going to mention a cornstarch-and- water mixture, but knowing the halfbakery's obsession with custard, I figured it would be necessary to use it as my non- Newtonian liquid of choice.
DrWorm, Sep 19 2009

       Yes, in my youth in England we made custard regularly (to eat with dessert) out of cornflour, milk, sugar and yellow food dye. I was aware of special egg custards for Christmas Puddings and other demanding desserts. I did not know you could get custard with gelatine in it.
pocmloc, Sep 19 2009

       I did not say anyone had said anything about gelatine. I merely commented on my own limited custard experience.
pocmloc, Sep 19 2009

       People of the Halfbakery, I think it's time we addressed a very serious matter that concerns us all.   

       For some years, custard (or its key ingredient, cornstarch) has been put forward as the material sine qua non for a wide range of applications. In most cases, its use has been on account of its strikingly non-Newtonian, dilatant properties.   

       It is hard to believe, however, that a cornstarch solution is the most dramatically dilatant substance known to mankind. I have no doubt, and every confidence, that more dramatically dilatant substances exist.   

       Would you post an idea for a space-elevator made of wood? Or for a heat-shield made of pasta? Perhaps. But it really is time we stopped using custard as the archetypal non-Newtonian fluid here.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 19 2009

       i really appreciate that simply because I thought that every single custard idea on this site was some sort of British joke. After some reading i find that there is actually quite a tradition of eating cornstarch paste there, here we just throw it around and hit each other upside the head with it and we never ever once considered calling it custard or eating it.
WcW, Sep 20 2009

       Is this custard transparent? Most of the play time might be a game of looking for your ball. Ah ... a custard with the same feeling as standing on a squash ball.
wjt, Sep 20 2009

       Squash balls are very light. I very much doubt that the ball would sink into the custard as you suggest, [wjt].   

       (And by the way, I was originally just going to say "Non- Newtonian fluid" and leave it at that, but I have noticed an affinity for custard on this website, and figured that if I didn't use it, it would just come up in the annotations anyway.)
DrWorm, Sep 20 2009

       Table tennis balls are light. 24 grams in a sphere with diameter 40mm is quite heavy. The custard is also being stirred by feet power.
wjt, Sep 20 2009

       //24 grams in a sphere with diameter 40mm is quite heavy.// It's not very dense. Volume is 33.5cubic centimetres, so density is 0.72g/cm3. Hence, it will float.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 20 2009

       /we never ever once considered ... eating it.//   

       "Are you kidding me? IT'S IN FUCKING EVERYTHING!" <Lewis Black>   

       See link
egbert, Sep 21 2009

       that shows a remarkable lack of nuance. HFCS and powdered corn starch are not similar foods nor could one be easily mistaken for the other. i would think that this idea alone would be enough to illustrate that....
WcW, Sep 21 2009

       [MaxwellBuchanan] I don't even have a ball park density on the variety that is custard. How about the custardly calculation. You then didn't even state the fact. /Hence, it will float / = Hence, the squash ball will float in still custard. Or Am I confusing myself with uncooked meringue?
wjt, Sep 22 2009

       I'm not sure which ingredients one would add to squash (the food) to make it non-newtonian.
DrWorm, Sep 22 2009

       That's as maybe, [WcW], but consider this - HFCS is the main ingredient in tomato ketchup in the US, and tomato ketchup is a non-newtonian fluid. I'm just saying.
egbert, Sep 22 2009

       wjt, how does one use uncooked meringue to confuse people? Or did you mean, you weren't sure if *you* were uncooked meringue? :)
goldbb, Sep 23 2009

       Hopefully, I have a lot of life left before I dry out and start to fall a part.
wjt, Sep 24 2009

       I read "custard" on here as shorthand for a non-Newtonian fluid such as oobleck whose resistance to shear increases more than arithmetically. I never imagined it would be edible. Another option would be silly putty, then there are the opposite examples of ketchup and non-drip paint. It would be good if we could come up with new ideas based on those.

Incidentally, this is an overlap with home ed because it's a bit of a tired old cliche to use oobleck for something in our group.
nineteenthly, Sep 24 2009

       //I never imagined it would be edible// [marked-for-tagline]
pocmloc, Sep 24 2009

       ////I never imagined it would be edible// [marked-for-tagline]//   

       All in favor say "i"   

dev45, Sep 25 2009

       The trick is, it has to be digestible as well. Not forgetting, eventful to the metabolism.
wjt, Sep 26 2009

       What is edibility? There are a lot of things which could be chewed up and swallowed without actually being absorbed, many of which we actually eat, e.g. roughage. Other things would lead to a swift demise, but they are perfectly "edible" in a mechanical sense. On that subject, they could be very eventful indeed to the metabolism, in the sense, for example, that they stop it in a long-term way.
nineteenthly, Sep 26 2009

       ok but ignoring the heath and wellness concerns I'm pretty sure that I don't WANT to eat anything that is corn STARCH(!) and water based with out clever culinary disguise. Corn syrup is significantly sweeter and thus easier to disguise as food whereas cornstarch is simply a very bland starch with an unpalatable texture. I know that recipes are verboten but could I have a few examples of "good" custard recipes here in the annos?
WcW, Sep 26 2009

       A real egg custard is made with egg whites, milk, sugar, nutmeg and cinammon, baked until set. It is entirely delicious. Cornstarch-based instant "custard" is a mere approximation, much as "coffee creamer" approximates milk, and about as accurate.
BunsenHoneydew, Sep 27 2009

       This is just my opinion but I don't consider pumpkin pie a slime due to the flour content in the filling.
travbm, Nov 07 2015

       If you simply accelerated the squash ball to nearly the speed of light, you wouldn't need to fill your squash box with custard and you'd still get the non-Newtonian Physics that you seek.
Cuit_au_Four, Nov 14 2015

       Somehow I was thinking of 4-dimensional squash, which made me wonder which side of it to carve.
RayfordSteele, Nov 14 2015


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