Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Nose cancelling headphones

Anti-nausea device
  (+6)
(+6)
  [vote for,
against]

A pair of apparently normal headphones with a pair of microphones and some electronics and software.

Most sound passes through unaltered, but the unit is specifically programmed to detect and mask the repulsive and utterly disgusting noises of a nearby cow-orker who, having contracted a nice juicy cold, thinks it's macho to struggle into the office looking like a badly-reanimated corpse, turning in substandard work, coughing and sneezing, and spraying the virus round like some sort of animate bioweapons facility.

8th of 7, Oct 19 2016

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       Selective noise cancelling headphones are an idea who's time has come. Simple software would eliminate the moronic gibberings of the Trump retard, along with his British poodle Farage. Once dumb and dumber are silenced, all sorts of other irritating sounds could be blocked. It's a winner. Enjoy the sound of munching croissants.
xenzag, Oct 20 2016
  

       How is it that you, seeming to want weapons built into most products, failed to specify that, here? If the offending nose is shot off, the owner might get the message about staying away from the office when contagious.
Vernon, Oct 20 2016
  

       It could be called the "No Noise iNose" [+]
AusCan531, Oct 20 2016
  

       Sounds like you have the same orquers de la vache that I do
hippo, Oct 20 2016
  

       //a nearby cow-orker// This would seem to imply that you are actually in employment, [8th]. Please clarify.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 21 2016
  

       Of course he's in employment... he orkers cows all day long.
xenzag, Oct 21 2016
  

       Orking is apparently not only permitted outside of the residence but is actually a paid skill.
whatrock, Oct 21 2016
  

       // Please clarify. //   

       Well ... "employment" implies doing "work" in return for payment.   

       We prefer an arrangement where we operate a small-scale ruthless tyrannical unaccountable despotic regime on a casual basis and entirely for our own amusement (plus it's indoors, with no heavy lifting) while receiving lavish and unjustifiable recompense, and taking all the credit for the efforts of others.   

       Bit like your family, really.   

       Which reminds us ... will you be lighting the Samhain Wicker Man with the Intercalary's flamethrower, or do you want us to bring a couple of cases of thermite grenades ?
8th of 7, Oct 21 2016
  
      
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