Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
A dish best served not.

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If you have the order, we have the disorder.
  [vote for,

Your food will come to you exactly as you ordered it. You do have to order it exactly as it is written on the board.

How do you want your fries arranged? It matters to us.

Do you want ice cubes in your drink? How many? When would you like us to add them?

Burger first, then cheese, next lettuce, tomato, 3 pickle slices, mayo, ketchup, mustard and of course the bun. You can always count on that. Our staff labor so that each food item will look *exactly* like it does in the picture. You will have to stand in another line if you want modifications.

Everyone has a job. You want a straw? We have a person who only hands out straws. Please take one anyway.

Our dining area is spotless and our kitchen always passes inspection even on surprise days.

Our bathrooms are even cleaner. Don't mind us, we are always cleaning them.

If there is any way you think we should improve fill out a suggestion card, print please. Then fold it twice with the writing on the inside before placing it in the slot. If you can't do that you aren't the target market we are trying to reach.

Our hours are from 6:03 am till 18 minutes before The Simpsons comes on. Everyone should have enough time to watch The Simpsons.

sartep, Sep 24 2003


       BBC 2 have stopped putting The Simpsons on at 6pm.
sufc, Sep 24 2003

       I love it except for the Simpson's bit. Croissant anyway. A very specific shade of golden brown.
waugsqueke, Sep 24 2003

       It should all come perfectly shrinkwrapped.   

       What happens to those people that stand at the counter going, "Um... uh... what's in the Psychosis Burger? What are the Schizophries like?"
Detly, Sep 24 2003

       I don't understand people who don't like "The Simpsons." It is one of the most inspired TV shows in recent memory.   

       I like the idea, but I have a feeling that if you implemented it a single order of fries would cost USD $42.50.
krelnik, Sep 24 2003

       This is a theme resturaunt, not a fast food joint.
Eugene, Sep 25 2003

       They might let you watch though?
madradish, Sep 25 2003

       That's a bit severe [bliss] - I would have thought a good clean would suffice.
PeterSilly, Sep 25 2003

       You'd have to wash your hands 23 times and then stand in a prescribed spot on the other side of a pane of immaculate glass from the food preparation area.
madradish, Sep 25 2003

       This has not received the attention it deserves. I am quite sure the floor would be smooth screed, and any cracks or lines immediately remedied. Legal tender will be laminated and change given in hermetically sealed bags. Gloves (for patrons and staff) are *not* optional.
4whom, Nov 29 2007

       This idea is ready to be implemented. They even have someone for the ads, Adrian Monk
keithbrunkala, Nov 29 2007

       I love this idea, though I think sandwich assembly should be done by robots, as who else could guarantee the accuracy. Also both the utensils and the hands that hold them could both be completely sterilized between sandwiches. PS Purchasing would be a horror.. a yes, I need a gross of 27mm diameter 3mm thick waffle cut single batch dill pickle slices...
MisterQED, Nov 29 2007

       Their mascot should be Obsessive Compulsive Detective Adrian Monk. [+] edit: oh wait, Keith just said that.   

       (for the extra picky, there would be a self-serve counter with perfectly portioned pickles, pick your perfect peck)
Spacecoyote, Nov 30 2007

       Why stop at sandwich assembly? you simply automate the entire thing right down to the patrons... press this button for this burger... and on drive-thoughs "operator please" is the way to get the only person on the joint.

It must all be perfect, right down to the robots shiny metal...
xxobot, Nov 30 2007

       I actually had a dream once that I went to a fully automated McDonalds at four in the morning. When the computer couldn't understand my order an alarm went off signaling a sleepy worker from downstairs.
Spacecoyote, Feb 26 2009

       I envy your dreams.   

       I want my patty served at precisely 120 c with the cheese slice melted to sag 7 mm below the top of the bottom bun.
Voice, Apr 21 2022


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