Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Online course for better spamming

Because they need the money
  (+6, -1)
(+6, -1)
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Spam tends to be very obvious. Things which give it away include the likes of bad punctuation and spelling, appeal to religion in a society with largely secular values and a misunderstanding of what sounds authoritative. As a result, most people are not taken in by spam.

Therefore, i suggest that an distance learning course in more effective spamming be promoted, with information on the appropriate use of exclamation marks and capital letters, references to culture which are likely to convince people and tips on how to sound plausible and write proper business English.

Of course, in order to provide such a qualification, which is from a respectable world class university, we will require some money up front. Not much, just send us a few quid and we'll be able to get it started. Later on, it might turn out that we need a bit more. Actually, we overestimated and we need to send you a refund. Could you send us your bank details so we can pay you quickly?

Your course materials are now ready. In order to ensure they arrive safely, we've placed them in escrow. You just need to place a small returnable deposit in this bank account so we can get them to you.

Thanks for your patience in this regard. Unfortunately there was a slight typographical error in the account number and we did not receive your deposit. Could you please send it to this account instead?

In order to refund your deposit we need the money for the postage. This needs to be sent here.

We are sorry that there was a printing error in your course materials and that you received a series of blank sheets of paper. In order to cover the costs of reprinting your materials, please send money to this account.

In order to reimburse your funds, we need a further sum of money to set up a bank transfer...

nineteenthly, Apr 30 2011


       Astonishingly, the International Ivy League University of Unsolicited Online Marketing has received a generous bequest from a very wealthy donor with the instructions that it should be shared amongst the students. Your share comes to $2,300,000 (TWO MILLION, THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS). Unfortunately we will have to ask for a modest up-front payment from you to cover administrative fees.
hippo, Apr 30 2011

       Clearly i spend too much time on Facebook because i want to bun your anno.
nineteenthly, Apr 30 2011

       //i want to bun your anno//   

       Hey, let's keep it PG here.
ytk, Apr 30 2011

       something about how you wanted to bone when you saw those buns so you pounded out out a long stern anno?
WcW, Apr 30 2011

       (Off topic) I once dreamed that I'd started an adult education course. We all filed into a classroom, filled with long benches like a school science lab. At each student's place, on the bench, was a small pile of straw - a couple of fistfuls.   

       It turned out that we had enrolled in a drug dealing course. For our first lesson, we were to practice dealing, using the straw as play drugs.
spidermother, Apr 30 2011


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