Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Paintball Melee Weaponry

For Close Combat and Bayonet Charges
  [vote for,

your three man squad hunkers down behind the cover of a fallen tree. you're pinned down under heavy fire from an opposing squad of five. quickly, you take stock of the situation. the contents of your combined hoppers total twenty rounds (you never really understood ammo conservation until now), and your cannoneer is down to enough co2 for one shot. the situation looks grim. over the radio your commanding officer orders your squad forward.

you glance over to your men. "affix bayonets" you whisper, pulling a tube out of a pocket and latching it to your barrel. the cannoneer draws a foam rapier saturated in paint. you check your squad's readiness and then charge.

the opposing squad is taken completely by surprise by this new tactic on your part. you actually manage to get nearly upon them before they even start firing again. then the paint really starts to fly. you fire off the remaining three shots that have been rattling around in your hopper and one of them falls. the odds are evened out now and your team makes short work of your opponents in the resulting confusion.

as you watch the other team walk off of the field, crisscrossed by stripes of brilliant pinki paint, you thank the foresight that equipped you with your trusty bayonet.

For when your ammo is depleted, or you just want to go down in history as the only guy stupid enough to take on a tank with a sword, trust the tcarson line of fine whacking instruments. with their patented watertight scabbarding system, yous paint color of choice will remain wet and effective. deluxe models come with an affixed tank to recharge while sheathed.

tcarson, Jun 08 2006


       One could use these in a hands-free game, with the bayonetts affixed at waist level. Hip-grinding house music would play over the loudpeakers.
bungston, Jun 08 2006

       ...by the rivers of Babylon....
methinksnot, Jun 08 2006

       This was done once not long ago in the form of a viking axe, can't find it anywhere though.
fridge duck, Jun 08 2006

       It was one of [desertfox]'s.   


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