Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.

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Park of Horizontal Ascent Icons

climb vertical icons horizontally
  [vote for,

Many people are terrified of heights, yet wish they could experience and record the giddy delights of hanging off a ledge on El Capitan, or taking a selfie whilst half way up the side of the Empire State building in total safety.

There are a large number of people who have met their end while taking selfies in similar precarious locations, so a demand exists. In future all they need do is to head for the Park of Horizontal Ascent Icons. Here they will find life size replicas of a large number of vertiginous buildings and naturally occurring formations. The big difference is that these are orientated in a totally horizontal format.

This means that people can cling unto them and take whatever selfies they want in complete safety. Each structure is carefully isolated and set against a vertical base representing a detailed ground area, which acts as a backdrop. Pairs of people can pose as if one is dangling the other on the end of a finger tip, and no one will ever be able to tell that the resulting photographs were not taken from twelve hundred feet above a busy street or valley floor.

xenzag, Nov 16 2018

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       But [+], anyway.
pertinax, Nov 16 2018

       You do realize, mon amie, that self-bunning causes blindness? Have one from me instead.[+]
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 16 2018

       // Have one from me //   

       Inadvisable; you might catch something nasty.
8th of 7, Nov 16 2018

       //self-bunning causes blindness// I always thought that it was self-bumming that caused that.
xenzag, Nov 16 2018

       No, it's a double-n, not a double-m. See, the eyesight is already beginning to go.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 16 2018

       How much extra to have a fan set up to blow your hair out as if it's dangling downward, to enhance the illusion? [+]
gisho, Nov 16 2018

       An essential addition. Well observed.
xenzag, Nov 16 2018

       Getting the birds to always fly perpendicular to the stage area would be the tricky bit. Maybe just suspend them on very thin rods? [+]
not_morrison_rm, Nov 16 2018

       Birds are a bit omni directional re orientation.
xenzag, Nov 16 2018

       Will there be a giant statue of Arthur Dent throwing a styrofoam cup?
RayfordSteele, Nov 17 2018

       + without any witty remarks
pashute, Nov 19 2018


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