h a l f b a k e r yReplace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...
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Each Supermarket Parrot Torture Trolley has a cage attached to it, which contains a trained parrot. As you pick up items, the bird makes comments.
Some of these are funny, some are helpful, like consumer advice, some are just nasty or stupid.
Examples: "He's stealing stuff!"
"Put that back,
ya fat nelly"
"Sarah Palin likes those"
"Who's got a smelly bum today?"
"Don't buy Cadburys, they're made by Kmart now"
These birds like this type of work and they have learned that being good at their jobs earns them extra treats. Shoppers like them too, as they are clever and amusing, and make shopping become an adventure, as you can never be sure what's going to be said next.
The trolleys, complete with birds are carefully maintained, stored, and managed properly, which brings its own advantages. All birds do shifts, and stay in a luxury aviary when they are off duty.
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Could the parrot also be trained to peck passing children ? |
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Would there be a "Hungry Golden Eagle" option ? |
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No doubt. Other animals always under consideration. ie The interfering monkey - but only parrots can talk. |
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// only parrots can talk // |
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Actually, parrots can't "talk" per se; they are skilled mimics, as are mynah birds and many other corvids. |
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sp: Kraft - the flat-boat subsidiary of Kmart. |
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This involves less parrot torturing than one might have
hoped for. |
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Also, who cleans up the parrot crap? |
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//Actually, parrots can't "talk" per se; they are skilled mimics ...// |
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But nothing beats the lyrebird |
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I wonder if parrots are toothsome. I feel certain that after just a brief exposure to to the Parrot Torture Trolley I would be very keen to add a few parrot breasts, wings and thighs to my weekly shopping. A little salt, some pepper, perhaps a bed of plantains? |
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Apparently you've never seen a BBP (Bermuda Barbecued Parrot) franchise, where the smiling likeness of its founder, Major Arlen Flanders (no relation to Ned), is plastered all across everything from the street signage to the toilet paper. |
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Their slogan? "It tastes like chicken!" |
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Can we get fries with that ? |
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My parrots are not for eating! These parrots are smarter than the average person, especially those dumb enough to push around a shopping cart containing a bird that makes snide remarks. |
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Might be fun every now and then. Throw a monkey and a
few surrogate children in the mix for a real show. Add it
to the whole "make shopping torturous via extreme
advertising" (can't remember the title right now), and you
gotta winner. |
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What if the parrot you get turns out to be a Norwegian Blue ? Mind you, they do have beautiful plumage ... |
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Despite the lame remark directed at me by the
author, that suggests I'm a twit, I still love this. I
think it would make shopping so much more
entertaining. Just for fun. |
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I don't know. I got excited and fell in the bucket. |
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//Despite the lame remark directed at me by the author, that suggests I'm a twit// I have no idea of what you are talking about? Could you perhaps explain? |
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I said I loved this idea, and then you said only dumb
people would push around a shopping cart containing
a bird that made snide remarks. Hence my impression
was that you were calling me dumb. |
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Ha, now I see... well I'm one of them too then, because I would shop no where else. |
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I seriously see this happening, therefore do not find it amusing. |
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Don't be ridiculous... this is the halfbakery, and I would not have posted it if there was any prospect of it being viable. |
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I think this place is on a decline again.... "practical" man on the ascendency again. |
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I want to double vote for the interfering monkey version. |
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Make it so he hides under the basket section and only comes out when you're facing the other way, trying to decipher the engrish cooking instructions on the laksa paste, or whatever. |
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I'm thinking the twit bird for you :-) |
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//Apparently you've never seen a BBP (Bermuda Barbecue Parrot) franchise...// I always thought those were "pi"-shops (named after Bailey-Borwein-Plouffe) . |
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Training a parrot to act as a shopping list or a telephone answering machine would be neat, as would one that would tell people off or whistle at girls. |
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Bermuda Barbecue Parrot? That's just fowl. |
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But a talking trolley parrot? That's just polyglot. |
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