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Peristaltic socks

They go on easy and stay on all day long
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Socks that engage in gentle, continuous peristalsis. To put them on, you simply put your toes just inside the opening. The peristaltic action then causes the sock to work its way up your foot and ankle as the sock basically "swallows" your lower leg. Once on, the sock will continue peristalsis, keeping itself high and snug on your leg... no more need to hike your socks up throughout the day.

Perhaps there could be models marketed with stronger peristaltic action for a soothing foot massage throughout the day.

To take off the socks, you need only stick your finger down into the opening, or administer a few drops of syrup of Ipecac to the socks to get them to regurgitate your feet.

PotatoStew, Mar 15 2002

Peristaltic flushing http://www.halfbake...istaltic_20flushing
Inspiration. [PotatoStew, Mar 15 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

[link]






       Okay, but you know how guys would use them...
phoenix, Mar 15 2002
  

       moving socks? Yeah, right. I'd love to see the blueprints for this one.
lumpy, Mar 15 2002
  

       Peristaltic socks meet Homing socks - all bloody hell breaks loose. my money is on Homing socks - I think the ground is soft going and they have the better jockey.
po, Mar 15 2002
  

       This would stand the world on its head: Throw one of these in with the laundry and now the sock is the *only* thing that comes out of the dryer.   

       btw, welcome back Po 'taters 2.
beauxeault, Mar 15 2002
  

       A lot of people have bad enough circulation that the peristaltic action would be medically useful, not just comfy. Croissant.
hello_c, Mar 16 2002
  

       //Throw one of these in with the laundry and now the sock is the *only* thing that comes out of the dryer.//   

       <grin> Good point. Of course, that would make unloading the dryer very easy. You'd just need to teach the sock to neatly fold the clothes before eating them.
PotatoStew, Mar 18 2002
  

       How ould they recognize your feet? Stick your hands in a drawer and come out with two socks slurping away on your arms, and no way to get them off. This would make a great nightmare, or twilight zone.
rbl, Mar 18 2002
  

       keep up with plot rbl, you administer cough mixture or the finger down the throat thing. you make them sick - don't you see?
po, Mar 18 2002
  

       If they're 'slurping away on your arms', A) it's going to be difficult to do anything, and B) you already have your whole HAND down its throat...
StarChaser, Mar 18 2002
  

       Quarterbaked, sort-of. Let me explain. About 15 years ago, I got two pairs of socks under the brand name "Computer Socks" - no lie. These had been "designed to fall up" by using a computer to plan how the sock was put together and the placement of some elastic within the fibres. They were wonderful and lived up to their claim 100% but I have never again seen them in a shop. But, a sock that moves on its own... scary, man!
jetckalz, Mar 19 2002
  

       You could put semi-stiff microfibers inside the sock that all point down, so like a wild oat works its way into the ground, these socks would work upwards. Just don't use too big or too stiff of fibers... that could be uncomfortable. Roll off to remove.   

       No batteries, or motors, etc. req'd.
lumpy, Mar 19 2002
  

       would they be so strong you couldnt pull them off? i dont think so. if they were, it would be uncomfortably tight and the motion would get annoying.
ironfroggy, Mar 19 2002
  

       Nice to see the 'Stew monniker back. Nice idea too.   

       "Today, in Morgumbawalleroo Town a pair of peristaltic socks went mad and swallowed their owner up to the thighs, making him walk in a very silly manner until he could get to a druggist and administer a shock dose of emetic syrup...Doctors say he will recover use of his severely compacted toes in a few weeks...film at eleven..."
Dog Ed, Mar 19 2002
  

       Sounds like you could just get a couple of appropriately-sized snakes to swallow your feet. There would be disadvantages but at least the problem of how the mechanics work would be solved.
wayne606, Mar 02 2003
  

       Mightn't it be easier to train your leg hairs to grow upwards, and let them carry the burden of sock weight?
friendlyfire, Mar 02 2003
  

       Wha... you mean leg hairs *aren't* supposed to grow upwards already?   

       Do the several pair the the bottom of the drawer that I never wear turn on eachother in sock-cannibalism? Would they fight eachother over mates?
RayfordSteele, Mar 02 2003
  

       all socks are generally osmotic though basically
ninjafishcake, Jun 18 2003
  
      
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