Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Pet Food Urbane

seeded pet food that propagates following ingestion
  (+11, -3)(+11, -3)
(+11, -3)
  [vote for,

Very few people clean up after their pets in the lawless part of the world where I live, and lots of people have dogs. The results are easy to imagine. Festering piles of dog faeces randomly decorate every walkway and verge. It's not nice.

The solution to this problem occurred to me when I was recently watching a wildlife programme, that focused on the incidental dispersal of plants by way of their indigestible seeds being excreted by birds.

Enter the pre-seeded pet food range Urbane Faecal. A variety of insoluble plant seeds would be mixed in with the new pet food range. These would pass harmlessly through the animal's digestive tract, exiting in the middle of a pile of perfect manure, where they would eventually germinate and grow.

The bonus benefit of this idea comes for owners of animals prone to constipation. Instead of a hefty vet bill, they now only need wait until they see the tip of a root appearing out of their pet's bum, and gasping it firmly, pull out the offending obstruction unto a waiting sheet of newspaper. In the UK I suggest The Sun as a most suitable receptacle for this material.

Meanwhile, the banks and verges are positively blossoming as a result of the outpourings from the pre-seeded pet food range

xenzag, Feb 12 2006


dbmag9, Feb 12 2006

       //gestate// Germinate?   

       //root ... pet's bum ... grasping it firmly// One hopes people don't Google here by accident.
spidermother, Feb 13 2006

       spmthr - Meanings of gestate   

       1. To gestate offspring. 2. To develop gradually.   

       but you are of course correct - germinate is more appropriate - thanks - altered - will feed cat with lots of exotic offerings, and let him loose in your back garden for a while as your reward
xenzag, Feb 13 2006

       interesting notion but I cannot bring myself to vote for it as I feel it will lead to even more selfish lazy pet owners not bothering to clean up after their pets and there are some real nasties to be found in doggy do-do that would still be around to cause blindness in children etc no matter what lovelies you grew in it.
po, Feb 13 2006

       //real nasties to be found in doggy do-do// And cats - toxoplasmosis is a real nasty.
How about dung-beetle larvae in slow release capsules?
coprocephalous, Feb 13 2006

       That's a better idea, use armies of dung beetles to keep our streets and public places dogshit-free.
hippo, Feb 13 2006

       time release capsules.... dung beetles first, to roll the stuff away, prior to hatching out. Either way it's a big problem where I live, and if you think that what's in the dog's shit is a problem, which it clearly is, you should take a look at the ones training them for illegal pit combat, and badger baiting.
xenzag, Feb 13 2006


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