h a l f b a k e r yFewer ducks than estimates indicate.
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random
news, help, about, links, report a problem
browse anonymously,
or get an account
and write.
register,
|
|
|
Don't let poor handwriting, grammar, or fingerprints spoil your next armed robbery. Let A1 Robbers VLLC (VERY limited liability criminals) print your hold-up notes for you!
Printed on convenient 3x5 cards, each note reads "This is a robbery. Give me all of the money and nobody gets hurt!" The notes
are printed in seven languages on specially formulated non-stick plastic card stock. Unlike regular paper, these cards will not retain fingerprints, sweat, or DNA traces.
Order now at a1robbbers-.vlcc-.online!
Don't let this happen to you!
https://www.bing.co...ghacc%3D0%26ghpl%3D
[a1, Aug 15 2023]
[link]
|
| |
Can I get the Post-It version? Colors? Flash paper? Shouldn't these self-destruct dramatically or at least leave a nasty puddle on the teller's counter? Can you get some in your favorite enemy's handwriting, with custom fingerprints? I think a nice touch would be to make them edible and infused with a strong sedative; the bank staff should be chill for the duration. We're all about making the tough job of bank robbing a nicer experience for everyone. |
|
| |
//each note reads "This is a robbery.// - I don't think that's quite right. A bank teller who is a stickler for accuracy might prefer it if the wording instead was "This is a note to inform you of a robbery", or perhaps "This is a note to inform you that I am about to attempt a robbery" |
|
| |
//about to attempt// in the process of attempting? |
|
| |
// Can I get the Post-It version? // |
|
| |
Not quite. We were in negotiations with 3M Corp on use of the trademark, but when we brought a gub to the bargaining table they weren't impressed. |
|
| |
We’d probably go with a kind of “tear off” pad instead. Without something like your (very clever!) flash paper feature, sticky-note temporary adhesive collects dust, skin flakes, sweat, and other things that can be used as evidence. |
|
| |
You have some really good ideas there - keep ‘em coming! |
|
| |
Important question, [pocmloc] - I think you're right |
|
| |
[hippo], [pocmloc], here at A1 Robbers VLLC we are serious about clear communication. We will strive for clarity in each translation for the regions we serve. |
|
| |
Probably have to include the message in pictograms as well. |
|
| |
[a1] Also, you need to think about whether your bank robbery complies with disabilities legislation - to cater for blind bank tellers you might need an audio version of the hold-up note |
|
| |
// to cater for blind bank tellers you might need an audio version of the hold-up note // |
|
| |
That would be part of our specialty line. Like those holiday cards that play "Happy Birthday" or "Jingle Bells" when you open them. |
|
| |
Without the sound feature, I suppose we could include the message in Braille too. |
|
| |
Notes are OK but pictures are worth at least a thousand dollars. Printed images generated by an AI of the teller's kid in the back of a panel van outside the bank should obviate the necessity for any words at all. I'm sorry I said that. |
|
| |
Well that's a horrifying idea |
|
| |
Possibly effective though. Definitely something we could offer to our most discerning clients. |
|
| |
I would never think of ordering one system on the usual terms for delivery in 3 weeks or enquiring about the "good customer" discount. |
|
| |
Failing to plan is planning to fail. |
|
| |