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Prison Foot Lockers

A new type of prisoner foot restraint.
  [vote for,

Leg irons, ball-n- chains and ankle shackles will soon become relics of the past.

I propose two new prisoner encumberment Foot Lockers. #1).........A boxy over-sized enclosure made of impact resistant plastic. This 'over shoe' would fit completly over any prison issue shoe. It would be locked in place by the guards. The box shape of each foot locker would extend 12 inches out on each side of a prisoners' foot. This would encumber normal walking, and be too bulky to operate a vehicle. There would be a coating of Teflon on all the surfaces, eliminating any grip between the Foot Locker and any other surface.

#2)...........A half of a sphere or bowl shaped foot enclosure. Also made of impact resistant plastic. The rounded side facing the ground. Several disk shaped areas of rubber are attached to the 1/2 sphere at various points to provide some minimal friction surfaces.

Prisoners would only be able to manage taking tiny little steps, any aggressive movements would result in the prisoner falling down.

Cosmo, Sep 18 2003

Wedlock http://en.wikipedia.../Wedlock_%28film%29
[normzone, May 16 2011]


       Leg irons, ball-n-chains, and ankle shackles should be things of the past because these devices, like the penal systems in which they are employed, are inhumane. Let's not go advocating dehumanizing inventions. -
grip, Sep 18 2003

       Sounds a bit cruel and unusual to me.
Needa Moeba, Sep 18 2003

       Still, I was hoping for a shoe store...
DeathNinja, Sep 18 2003

       Results from tests:   

       1) Prisoners unable to move anywhere. Can't stand up. Must be wheeled by disgruntled guards everwhere. Piss all over the cell floors.   

       2) Prisoners launching class-action lawsuits for 'faulty footwear'.
Cedar Park, Sep 18 2003

       How about lockable stillettos instead? Then they would not be able to run, only mince, and the world record for mincing is only 10 mph I believe.
nichpo, Sep 18 2003

       How about one of the round bottom shoes for both feet to fit into? sort of a prisoner "weebles" sort of thing. Short hops would be possible, but the likelihood of a tip over would limit the urge to move around. I'm thinking a mass prison break might work since the guards would be too overcome with laughter watching the escape to prevent it... of course rounding up the escapees wouldn't take too long to accomplish would it?
Dustoff, Sep 18 2003

       lockable stilletos... would that make the prison a camp boot boot camp then?   

       Fishbone for the idea, btw. I agree with [grip].
Guy Fox, Sep 18 2003

       And then you can stuff the stilleto-wearers into the trunk of your car which would make it a camp boot boot camp boot. Whew!
grip, Sep 18 2003

       and if they were manufactured by Boots (a UK Store BTW) ...
nichpo, Sep 18 2003

       First of all I don't think prisoners need our coddling. Clunky, awakward footware is hardly cruel when compared with the cruelty some of these prisoners have commited on their victims.   

       If it were up to me I'd recommend 'hobbling' them, like they did in the bad old days.   

       How about this variation: They wear (locked-on) shoes which have been coated with an extremely slippery substance (like Teflon)?
Cosmo, Sep 18 2003

       [Dustoff], let's round 'em up and encase them in impact-resistant plastic Mr Wobbly-Man suits (Mr Wobbly-Man, you know, that guy that you can punch all day long and he just rights himself over and over again). Then prisoners can't whinge about having dodgy footwear, but also can't get anywhere other than by rolling.
Needa Moeba, Sep 19 2003

       I think that our prisoners do need a good coddle. Which is why I've organized the Coddle-A-Prisoner Day. Hugs and gentle encouragement will be administered to prisoners the world over by kind volunteers.
grip, Sep 19 2003

       There but for the grace of god, so to speak, are you, cosmo...   

       Anyway, scuba flippers would do the job just as well.
yamahito, Sep 19 2003

       What we need is the system featured in the "classic" film Wedlock in which prisons had no physical boundaries. Instead, prisoners all wore a collar which was (unbeknownst to them) linked to another prisoner's collar. If either tried to escape, both their collars exploded with hilarious consequences. Ho hum.
hazel, Sep 19 2003

       Strange how a Google search for many esoteric items seems inevitably to lead back to some utterly bizarre and irellevant item in the HB…
8th of 7, May 16 2011

       If you Google "Borg gullibility" the HB is the top hit - result!!
MaxwellBuchanan, May 16 2011

       Stilleto runs are getting very common, and at least one 100m run was won at 15mph. Considering the world record for the 100m is only around 23 mph, I'm not sure [nichpo]'s suggestion is all that good.
MechE, May 17 2011

       If you make them boat-shaped, you would have a boat boot. Try saying that five times real fast.
sqeaketh the wheel, May 17 2011

       Red Dwarf . Episode "Justice".
squeak, May 21 2011


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