Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Quality fire extinguisher

For corporate use
  (+5, -2)
(+5, -2)
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Rather than having conventional fire extinguishers at fixed points throughout a building, large organisations are able to deploy just a few Quality Fire Extinguishers.

When the fire alarm sounds, the trained Quality Fire Extinguisher makes his or her way to the source of the alarm, carrying their supply of handouts and a folding whiteboard.

On arrival at the fire, they set up the whiteboard and start to give their prepared talk on "Implementing ISO9000 standards in an accounting environment"

Immediately, all the oxygen is sucked out of the room, and thus is the fire instantly extinguished.

8th of 7, Jun 07 2012

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       hah! [+] no hot air needed!
xandram, Jun 07 2012
  

       I once got in a lot of trouble for circulating a very cynical memo about a management consultant who had been employed to implement a quality assurance program in our workplace. The memo was a rather snide look at the need to call, and the subsequent purpose of, some 4-6 meetings per day.   

       I think it may have cut three weeks off her appointment term and $30,000 of her bill to the firm. That's what we believe happened, when she wrapped things up earlier than she had at first forecast.
UnaBubba, Jun 08 2012
  

       The problem is if anything is still smoldering, the sheer amount of decomposing bull**** left on the floor once the guy stops talking results in a fireball.
MechE, Jun 08 2012
  

       // once the guy stops talking //   

       You have spotted the unique advantage of this invention. Those guys NEVER stop talking. There are probably psychics who get endlessly pestered by deceased Quality consultants wanting to continue their endless fact-free monologues; or complain about how they were brutally murdered by members of their audience two hours into the third all-day session ...
8th of 7, Jun 08 2012
  
      
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