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Rescue Zombies

A helping hand
  (+29, -3)(+29, -3)(+29, -3)
(+29, -3)
  [vote for,

After an earthquake, locating and extracting the survivors is a problem.

However, given the right Voodoo, easily accessible fatal casualties could be Zombified. They would then go lurching off into the rubble, moaning "Brains ! Brains !", locate the survivors, and dig for them with undead strength, determination, and single-minded persistance.

Rescue crews, suitably equipped, follow at a discreet distance. As soon as the zombies get close to the survivor, they deploy appropriate weaponry to deanimate the zombies, extract the casualty, and remove them to a place of safety.

8th of 7, Mar 06 2010

Mass Zombification Mass_20Zombification
Methods of mass zombification have been discussed here, albeit for halloween ... [Aristotle, Mar 11 2010]


       exactly [+]
FlyingToaster, Mar 06 2010

       "Hey, those arn't zombies; they're children!"
rcarty, Mar 06 2010

       what [21] said. oh, wait
po, Mar 06 2010

       Thankyou for your vote of confidence, [21Q]. We consider we have all the angles covered. We have done extensive research into the project by sitting in the pub until closing time, scribbling on the back of beermats.   

       We prefer the "fact free" method of analysis favoured by Sales and Marketing depatments ...
8th of 7, Mar 06 2010

       today's recent view reminds me of your first day at hb [8th]
po, Mar 06 2010

       I thought this was going to be in the sense of "rescue dogs", i.e. adopt a rescued, mistreated zombie and give it a loving home.

However, as described, impeccable logic, as usual, [8th], so [+]
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Mar 06 2010

       If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If life turns to zombies, make zombie aid.
bungston, Mar 06 2010

       Reminds me of using pigs to find truffles.[+]
Aristotle, Mar 06 2010

       Will there be professional grief counsellors to deal with somewhat more serious cases of survivor's guilt?
ye_river_xiv, Mar 06 2010

       //Reminds me of using pigs to find truffles.//   

       It's always a good thing when your workers are self-motivated.
jurist, Mar 07 2010

       I foresee inevitable mobs forming to presumably protest being overworked and underfed.
xxobot, Mar 08 2010

       //Zombie Aid// Concert series featuring the reanimated corpses of Jerry Garcia, Michael Jackson, Jimi Hendrix, etc... anybody who jumps onstage gets their brains eaten: better than Ozzy Osbourne (who is also on stage sorta honourary like) and the bat.
FlyingToaster, Mar 08 2010

       ... but not Elvis, who, of course, isn't dead ...
8th of 7, Mar 08 2010

Mustardface, Mar 09 2010

       This is kind of a sick idea.   

       Even sicker is the fact that you really don't have to shoot them from a distance, just equip them with captive-bolt helmets with .38 blanks that can be activated with a remote control.
nomocrow, Mar 09 2010

       I'll forever cherish the idea of being caught in rubble from a bombing or earthquake, and days later, find a zombified relative of me pull the rubble free, try to eat my brain, and get shot by rescuers. The world needs more solutions like this for our problems.
ye_river_xiv, Mar 09 2010

       lol @ the deactivation helmet. Brilliant!
AutoMcDonough, Mar 10 2010

       Ideally, you'd need one Emergency Zombie to turn others into zombies and kick-start the rescue effort. Public buildings such as schools and libraries could be useful sites for these Emergency Zombies. I'm not sure whether the "Break Glass to Release Emergency Zombie" model would work (Would zombies 'survive' incarceration behind glass? Also kids would break the glass for fun - in a similar way to how they might set off fire alarms), and there might be objections from parents to stationing zombies in schools. So a better solution would be to train zombies in light librarianship duties and have a zombie working in every public library, ready to be deployed in the event of earthquake or other disaster. A supply of fresh brains (from hospital morgues, etc.) would be kept in an unobtrusive corner of the library to prevent these zombie librarians from feeling to need to feast on the visitors to the library.
hippo, Mar 10 2010

       //there might be objections...to stationing zombies in schools//

I thought that kids were sent to school with the specific intention of turning them into mindless zombies, no?
DrBob, Mar 10 2010

       + witty and perfectly voodoo-ed!
xandram, Mar 10 2010

       I read that in WWII the Allies kept a reserve army of zombies at the ready on the Home Front. I assume this undead army would have been released if a 'final hour' situation had occured which would have necessitated a wave of near immortal brain fiends.
rcarty, Mar 10 2010

       It's about as realistic of a defense as anything else we have. Really, if China invades, what can you do? Prey for zombies, that is about it.
AutoMcDonough, Mar 10 2010

       //Prey for zombies//
Yes, I guess you would be.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Mar 10 2010

       How could such a simple, well-meaning idea go so very, very wrong ?   

       A bit like voting Democrat, we guess...
8th of 7, Mar 10 2010

nomocrow, Mar 11 2010


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