Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Safe World

Might be a bit ... dull?
  [vote for,

Visitors enter Safe World through the usual sort of turnstile/box office, and are then directed to the changing rooms. There, highly trained attendants provide them with a correctly fitted safety helmet with attached ear defenders, eye protection, high visibility jacket and trousers with integral knee and elbow pads, gloves, and steel-toecapped safety shoes. They are then issued with a satchel containing a first aid kit, disposable gloves and a bottle of hand sanitizer.

All dangerous* objects must be placed in the lockers provided.

After watching a 45 minute video briefing, and completing a 20 page questionnaire, guests may then enter the theme park.

The park is very safe. There are no steps or trip hazards. Everything is padded. The rides move at a maximum of 3km/h. Running is forbidden.

The food outlets serve allergen-free cold food (hot food and beverages are far too dangerous ). Trained paramedics are in constant attendance. The food has been pre-prepared and radiation-sterilised.

There are no living plants in the park as they might attract bees, and someone might be allergic to the pollen or the plant itself.

*Pretty much everything, actually.

8th of 7, Aug 10 2015

A world of safes... http://www.theantiquesafecollector.com
[pocmloc, Aug 10 2015]


       I don't think there should be rides. Just soft seating areas perhaps?
pocmloc, Aug 10 2015

       Sitting down for too long can cause circulation-related conditions such as deep vein thrombosis
hippo, Aug 10 2015

       Imagine the litigation opportunity for anyone suffering a paper cut from that 20 page questionnaire!
Tulaine, Aug 10 2015

       Nothing is truly safe; a pillow is a deadly weapon (can be used for smothering). This is why some folks focus on the phrase "guns don't kill people; people kill people" (without paying attention to the fact that accidents happen). I suspect just about any physical thing that exists can be used to kill (even a nonphysical thing like the vacuum of outer space can be used to kill), one way or another.
Vernon, Aug 10 2015

       Interesting - I think I'd still describe the vacuum of outer space as a 'physical thing'; Even if its defining quality is the absence of stuff, that is a description of a physical property. Slightly more non-physical things would be 'ennui' or 'fear', which might or might not be able to kill you.
hippo, Aug 10 2015

       'Radiation-sterilised'- this sounds a little bit iffy.
bhumphrys, Aug 10 2015

       True safety is impossible unless everyone subsumes their will to the Collective's research-industrial complex that develops new treatments for the Collective. Until aging is cured, those unwilling to join the Collecive's research- industrial collectives are deathists who must be banished for the crime of failure to prevent murder by nature.
sninctown, Aug 10 2015

       Oooh, a new recruit... and no indoctrination necessary !
8th of 7, Aug 11 2015


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