Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Sandwich Bar For People Who Hate Sandwiches

  (+17, -4)(+17, -4)
(+17, -4)
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Hungry patrons enter this odd restaurant and are seated in front of a large clear, bullet-proof screen where the food is prepared before them.

Diners choose a delicious sandwich from the menu and their weapon of choice via an array of coloured and flashing buttons at their table.

Once the order is taken, the food is cooked and prepared and placed at one end of the 'kitchen' area inside another bullet proof chamber.

A siren is sounded with appropriate flashing lights, and a small door opens above your sandwich. A man's hand appears and fires into the chamber at close range - the bullet passing through your sandwich and into a specially designed table that absorbs the impact, leaving your food sitting quite neatly on top.

A waitress (with kevlar apron) retrieves your sandwich and serves it to you at your table. A photograph is taken of you with your sandwich - resplendent with bullet hole directly through bread/salami/cheese/lettuce etc so that you may always remember your violent and touching lunch time experience.

benfrost, Jan 08 2009

Burroughs Shotgun Painting http://images.googl...S:official%26sa%3DN
Here's the extreme version (creator sadly no longer available due to mortal termination) [xenzag, Jan 08 2009]

Potato bar, sometimes as violent. Mangled_20Potato_20Bar
[daseva, Jan 12 2009]

Fark: West Midlands cafe wins "Britain's best bacon sandwich" prize. http://forums.fark....s.pl?IDLink=4218155
In other news, there is a man in England who's job was to travel the country eating bacon [Dub, Feb 18 2009]

[link]






       Bam +
jaksplat, Jan 08 2009
  

       Approval rating +++
xenzag, Jan 08 2009
  

       I'd come in just to order sandwiches with fillings that I *hated* - particularly the ones with fillings that I love, ruined by horrific sauces and mayonnaise.
[Die B*****d!]
Jinbish, Jan 08 2009
  

       In your dreams a disembodied hand emerges from the stricken sandwich and returns fire... at you! It must have been the cheese.
pertinax, Jan 08 2009
  

       Could you choose between mafia style shootings and perhaps a more subtle pillow over the sandwich approach?   

       Also, for the absorbant table, soap or wax could be used. I know they use soap for balistics testing as it has similar piercing characteristics as people.
miasere, Jan 08 2009
  

       //a more subtle pillow over the sandwich//   

       How do you determine when a sandwich has stopped struggling?
pertinax, Jan 08 2009
  

       [pertinax], I was actually thinking of the pillow being used to quieten the shot and reduce blast back rather than suffocation.   

       Off topic - I know films are not great sources of fact but when you suffocate someones face with a pillow until they stop struggling, surely they would just be unconcious but still breathing when you take it away, not dead.
miasere, Jan 08 2009
  

       [-] I like sandwiches
FlyingToaster, Jan 08 2009
  

       I bet that some smart alec will order a bagel...
Jinbish, Jan 08 2009
  

       So, maybe someone should make *target* bread...
xandram, Jan 08 2009
  

       //A waitress //   

       //I like sandwiches//   

       Yep indeedee.
skinflaps, Jan 08 2009
  

       Surely you wouldn't *ever* want to harm a really nice bacon sandwich.
Dub, Jan 08 2009
  

       with tomato and a bit of cheese on a decent toasted bagel, buttered not margarined and a ... stupid diet.
FlyingToaster, Jan 09 2009
  

       Can you order out? I'd like to put bulletholes in a few of Subway's offerings (they're the only place besides the crappy cafeteria within a long walk of here and I'm really tired of them)
Spacecoyote, Jan 10 2009
  

       for an additional fee, a shirtless man with a dark hood will slice your sandwich in half via guillotine - each half landing in a little basket either side of the chopping block. delicious!
benfrost, Jan 10 2009
  

       "Concentrated efforts" can only do so much for a burger that costs 15 cents to make.
Spacecoyote, Jan 10 2009
  

       I'll have mine submerged and torpedoed please.   

       Brings a whole new meaning to "Torpedo Sandwich".
Spacecoyote, Jan 10 2009
  

       ..."Would you like it Grilled?"
"No. Toast it. Toast it Real Good!!"
silverstormer, Jan 11 2009
  

       with your choice of ketchup or mustard flavoured gun powder
benfrost, Jan 11 2009
  

       I don't see why this wouldn't appeal to people who like sandwiches as well?   

       There are plenty of people who like to shoot the things they enjoy eating.
mylodon, Jan 11 2009
  

       My thoughts exactly, [mylodon]. I've been sitting here thinking I could probably get a cherry tomato into a paint ball gun...
lurch, Jan 11 2009
  

       Death to potato side dishes, as well. <linky>
daseva, Jan 12 2009
  

       could a professional dagger thrower just quarter my sandwich from across the room? that'd be cool too.
evilpenguin, Jan 12 2009
  

       [+] The only good sandwich is a dead sandwich.
RayfordSteele, Jan 14 2009
  

       [+] A sandwich is just a sandwich. But a DeadManwhich is more like a meal...
blissmiss, Feb 18 2009
  
      
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