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Scissors Paper Stone Earworm Crowd Sort

A new treatment for earworms is within reach!
  (+9, -1)(+9, -1)
(+9, -1)
  [vote for,
against]

A website where users provide data as to what earworms have successfully dislodged other earworms. e.g.

"Thine Be The Glory" dislodged "Rock and Roll, Part 2"
"Theme from Van Der Valk" dislodged "Ring My Bell"
"It's a Small World" dislodged "Borderline"

and so on and so forth. As the database of what-beats- what builds up, users will also find what songs are likely to rid them of the presently maddening earworm. I appreciate that there is an element here of the cure being worse than the disease however, judicious use of successive earworms should (a) alleviate the symptoms and (b) make them easier to dislodge by non-musical means.

Really, though, the main advantage is that we will over time develop a reasonable earworm pyramid, by comparing which songs best others, ultimately leading to the identification of the apex earworm.

calum, Jul 05 2012

"Popcorn" by Hot Butter http://www.youtube....watch?v=OK5q1bU59Ic
Surely this is the uber-ohrwurm? Listen if you dare… [hippo, Jul 07 2012]

Human Evolution and Music http://www.economist.com/node/12795510
Thoughtful article on the origins of music - not sure how some of this could be applied to the "earworm" phenomena.
[doo doo, do do doo]
phenomena
[do do do do]
phenomena
[do do doo do do do do do do do do do do do do doo do do]
[zen_tom, Jul 09 2012]

Forkbomb http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fork_bomb
[normzone, Jul 10 2012]

[link]






       I think the pyramid would depend enormously on personal factors (individual taste, susceptibility to earworms), making a general pyramid impossible to build.   

       In all honesty a little meditation is all that is needed. I have not been plagued by unwanted music for years, much like other semi-subconscious phenomena, the effect is manageable with practice.
mitxela, Jul 05 2012
  

       (humming) "manageable with practice, manageable with practice..."
normzone, Jul 05 2012
  

       Perhaps every chart topping song can be considered an earworm. It's possible that without crowd sourcing analysis can be undertaken of the music industry's new releases to reveal their own strategem. It makes sense that the industry has to unseat their own earworms, so it is very plausible that a sort of linear logic can be uncovered simply by looking at the chronological release of music.   

       And then something on masterslave dialectics.
rcarty, Jul 06 2012
  

       The danger here, in building a taxonomy of earworm superiority, is that there will necessarily be an uber-earworm at the pinnacle of the hierarchy of lesser melodies with a power to lodge itself in your brain far above every other tune. Use of this service will solve users' short-term problem of dislodging their immediate earworm, but will bring them inexorably one step closer to the ultimate earworm, from which there is no escape.
hippo, Jul 06 2012
  

       Yes that's the master slave thingy. Hippo is right listeners must remain slaves or they will bring about earbug armageddon. The music industry should be left to unseat their own earbugs in a sustainable manner.
rcarty, Jul 06 2012
  

       <sound of hand-drier activating>   

       Well, actually, the original draft of the idea had a sequelbait coda where scientists are sent back in time to kill Handel, Glitter, Frederick Knight, whoever wrote the apex earworm. Which would, of course, result in nothing more than a different apex earworm, and our weary band of blood-stained boffins clambering back into the time machine yet again, to set about hacking some other tunesmith to chunks. But I deleted it because, well, because.   

       [mitxela], I would say that, yes, there will be personal factors in each earworm fight submitted and a single ur-earworm is perhaps a pipe dream, but with a large enough sample size it should be possible to produce an earworm stratigraph which would at least allow users to choose to climb (but, as hippo correctly points out, never descend) away from the present earworm to something at least different.
calum, Jul 06 2012
  

       // a single ur-earworm is perhaps a pipe dream//   

       Dear god no - I'd rather keep the earworm than have to tolerate the pipes.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 06 2012
  

       When I'm trying to go to sleep usually the Blue Danube Waltz or Joe Jackson's "Slow Song" will displace anything I have embedded in my personal sound track.   

       But yesterday morning Joe Jackson's "And the Band Wore Blue Shirts" popped into my head and it's still there.   

       "...the drummer's shoes are dirty to confuse..."
normzone, Jul 06 2012
  

       On a different, yet similar note - we have a bell tower at work that chimes on the half hour. One of these little tunes that it chimes out was a piano lesson I had when I was about 9 years old. Everytime that one plays, I either have fond memories or go insane! Well, here I go...
xandram, Jul 06 2012
  

       The video would feature battles contrasting variously rendered parts of the tune combatants as the appropriate avatars maneuver around the ring. Maybe interspersed with the Star Trek fight music, because that is how one dies such things. I envision right now a 1985 Madonna vs 8 or 9 of the Small World tykes, maybe led by the Fijian canoeist.   

       On victory the winner would blare earwormily.
bungston, Jul 07 2012
  

       Excellent idea monsieur Calum [+] I have a trained earwig, or eariwig as we call them, that goes in and drags out those pesky ear worms.
xenzag, Jul 07 2012
  

       You didn't have to buuuump me out   

       For some other highly ac-ces-sible little number   

       I guess I'll leave you to your woe   

       Now you've got an earworm that you can't carreau   

       (see, Earbuds Anglaises would have replaced the last word with "stun" and then it wouldn't rhyme any more)
oscil8, Jul 07 2012
  

       bungston is of course correct to identify that without his addition the users are asked to provide their earworm data without any incentive but the spare, contingent sense of social engagement that you get when posting on the internet that which would previously not gone beyond your internal monologue. Without an incentive, the project is doomed to die: Facebook and twitter have the brainburp market sewn up.   

       Another area that I have neglected is the palliative. If the aim is not to dislodge but subdue an ohrwurm (good work hippo), then the website could recommend music with characteristics that baffle your ohrwurm in your brain.
calum, Jul 09 2012
  

       But, all of my earworms, are only dislodged by themselves.
mylodon, Jul 09 2012
  

       Well there's another and better idea: an earworm that is so catchy that it takes over the brain like a forkbomb, causing near instant shutdown and reboot. Neutralisation of earworminess by maximisation of earworminess.
calum, Jul 09 2012
  

       Men's brains with electric automatic spasmatic tympanic membranes.
rcarty, Jul 09 2012
  

       "Never gonna give you buns
Never gonna vote you down...
Never gonna pun around and... pervert you..."
RayfordSteele, Jul 10 2012
  
      
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