Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Social Distancing Skirt

Bustle Hustle, Russell!
  [vote for,

In these days of enforced social isolation and distancing, there is an apparent need for a slightly greater personal space than you are used to observing.

The obvious solution is the return of the crinoline and bustle... though a little more modern in design and in a range of colours that allow not only female but also male wearers to feel suitably protected and dignified, whilst wearing a massive bustle.

In short, an inflatable ring that protrudes a distance of 1 metre from your widest point, to ensure a 2 metre gap between you and others.

N.B. This is also a powerful economic stimulant, as it will necessitate the widening of doorways, hallways, cars, trains, buses, aircraft, chairs and a range of other things and places, to cope with the new normal.

UnaBubba, Mar 22 2020

Coronavirus: Italian man wears large disc to enforce social distance. https://www.indiato...-1655418-2020-03-14
[tatterdemalion, Mar 22 2020]


       Or you could simply use laser distance sensors instead, then they could bellow out 'citizen! please back off!'
bhumphrys, Mar 22 2020

       A garment of dirty, tattered sackcloth, a bell, a chant of "Unclean ! Unclean ! ", and hideous facial disfigurements will keep most people away.   

       So, just go as you are, [UB] ...
8th of 7, Mar 22 2020

       There are no social distancers in MBTs, [8th], assuming they can get in the things in the first place.
UnaBubba, Mar 22 2020

       //In short, an inflatable ring//   

       Well, I heard today that another symptom of the virus is a loss of taste.   

       Surely a large bearing worn around the waist is sufficient to spin any skirt like garment up to sufficient rpm to be virtually horizontal ?
bigsleep, Mar 23 2020

       // another symptom of the virus is a loss of taste. //   

       An excellent premise for a rapid diagnostic test - say "Isn't Pop Idol a teriffic show? " and if they agree, that's a positive.   

       Of course,elevated temperature, coughing, and loss of taste are also symptoms of the common cold, but the rhinoviruses are probably all self-isolating at the moment...
8th of 7, Mar 23 2020

       These 'laser distance sensors", [bhumphrys]... I have access to a 25kW device. Is that enough?
UnaBubba, Mar 23 2020

       Wonder if you sewed two of those old fashioned "Hoop Skirts" together if that would come out to be about six feet. You know, sew one on where the first one ends.   

       Hmmm, I know where there are a bunch of them around here in the historical sites. I'll steal them and cut em up and see if they work.   

       Of course, I hope they work in prison too.
blissmiss, Mar 23 2020

       What about some sort of powered hula hoop ? Belt round the waist*, with a track ... single point of contact with the eccentrically orbiting hoop ... centrifugal force keeps it horizontal.   

       It would need to be lightweight lest the gyroscope effect become troublesome.   

       *for those with an identifiable waist. Don't go there, [UB]. We know how your mind** works. We're watching. And that goes for the rest of you miserable bunch, too.   

       ** or what you refer to as a mind.
8th of 7, Mar 23 2020


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