Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Sport Utility Halftrack

ultimate SUV
  (+3, -2)
(+3, -2)
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The Sport Utility Halftrack is the next logical step after the Hummer. Combining the off road capabilities of a tracked vehicle with the driving technique, handling and maneuverability of a wheeled vehicle, the SUH provides the highest safety rating of any car or truck on the road. Its massive size and weight will swat ordinary SUVs and Land Yachts aside like flies. Your family will be safe, sound and comfortable inside the SUH, enjoying a secure, roomy interior spacious enough to double as camper or mobile home.

Exquisitely appointed with ostrich leather interior, 16 speed automatic transmission, satellite radio and a slew of available options including GPS and additional armor plating, the Sport Utility Halftrack sets the standard as the 'must have' vehicle for the see and be seen crowd. Also handy for robber barons and politicians who prefer some degree of separation from common folk they may have ‘inadvertently’ pissed off on the road to fame and fortune.

Parking is never a problem with the Sport Utility Halftrack. If there are no spaces available, park on top of whatever is already there. Parking tickets? Who cares, it's not like anyone is going to tow it away. Go ahead and put a boot on it - I dare you.

nuclear hobo, Mar 17 2007

MATTRACKS http://www.mattracks.com/
"The original rubber track conversion system." [baconbrain, Mar 18 2007]

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       //Exquisitely appointed with ostrich leather interior// - That does it. [+]
wagster, Mar 18 2007

       And of course powered by the largest of gas guzzling ultra-polluting engines avaliable today.[+]
the dog's breakfast, Mar 18 2007

       You can buy aftermarket tracks to install instead of the wheels on your pickup truck. See MATTRACKS link.
baconbrain, Mar 18 2007

       Chrome tracks with spinners!
nuclear hobo, Mar 18 2007


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