Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Stealth Lawnmower

For surreptitous gardeners.
  [vote for,

An essential lifestyle statement for cash-rich, time-poor HalfBakers, the Stealth Lawnmower represents the very latest in low aspect garden maintainance technology.

Powered by lightweight multiple-redundant fuel cells, and super-quiet high torque stepper motors for precise manouvering control, the Stealth Lawnmower externally resembles the German "Goliath" mobile tracked guided mine of WW2 vintage; but there, the similarity ends. Under the carbon-fibre composite outer shell (smoothly profiled to achieve mimimal thermal signature and radar cross-section), the titanium spaceframe supports the very latest in grass management technology. Forward-looking wideband binocular thermo/optical cameras with zoom and pan capability give full day/night vision capability and can even see through rain and fog, allowing precise guidance of the Mower via a secure high-rate frequency-agile bidirectional digital datalink operating on the ISM band <Not Bluetooth ! Not Bluetooth !>. The operator uses a joystick and VR goggles to guide the robot around its environment.

Beneath the front edge of the 'bot is an array of self-sharpening ceramic blades that perform the actual grass-cutting task; their profile is optimised for mimimum noise generation. The severed grass is entrained on a silicone rubber conveyor, and funneled into the interior, whene it is compressed by an auger and extruded from the rear as a series of neat shrink-wrapped packages.

The unit can operate at all times of the day or night and in most weather conditions; it is virtually silent in operation and its profiled hull ensures that its slow, deliberate movements will not trigger PIR sensors on floodlights.

Available now from military gardening tools suppliers at $456,349.99 plus tax, and an additional $1,200,000 to have it air dropped onto your back lawn by a Black Helicopter.

Silenced .177 soft-air nonlethal anti-cat turret available as an optional extra. Please ask for brochure. (Come on guys, what did you expect ?)

8th of 7, Sep 11 2002

cowlets http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/cowlets
[half, Sep 11 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

(?) German Goliath http://www.strandlab.com/potd/052302.html
I didn't know what one looked like so I went googling [krelnik, Oct 20 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]


So you're not talking to me.
phoenix, Sep 11 2002

       It's aimed at a very exclusive market segment .... Waugs, UB, Jutta, the sort of people whose boots we humble peons are not worthy to lick .......
8th of 7, Sep 11 2002

       I dunno if I could cope with the "thud, thud, thud" of those shrink-wrapped grass bundles hitting my lawn.
PeterSilly, Sep 11 2002

       There's no "Thud .... Thud", Peter - the packages are lowered gently to the ground on a low-angle retractable trailing ramp with terrain-following capability. It's noiseless.
8th of 7, Sep 11 2002

       The Army send their's to the Aleutian Islands. They make a great Igloo. The Inuit's prefer them over snow because they don't melt.
ty6, Sep 11 2002

       For a potentially lucrative by-product, package the cut grass in miniature 3 wire bales and sell to people who raise cowlets.
half, Sep 11 2002

       $456,349.99? That better come with a toilet seat AND a hammer!
Mr Burns, Sep 11 2002

       You might sell some to hemp gardeners if you could package the cut "grass" in cigarette paper.
FarmerJohn, Sep 11 2002

       Why do I keep getting lumped in with those two? What have I done to deserve this? Please, by all means, lick my boots at your convenience. Shoes and socks are available as well. I do require you fill out an application for bare feet, though.
waugsqueke, Sep 11 2002

       I'd imagine that's exactly what jutta (and possibly UB) are thinking, waugs.. ;op
yamahito, Sep 11 2002


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