Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Teflon coated slide

slides just arn't slippery enough
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Slides are slippery, sure, but they arn't slippery enough. Whats the slipperiest stuff in the world? Teflon thats what, nothing sticks to teflon so coat a slide in it and enjoy the ride to the bottom at top speed.
Gulherme, Dec 04 2002

Tufoil http://www.tufstuff...ufoil/guinness.html
04 Dec 02 | I think Guiness now lists this Tufoil lubricant as the slipperiest. I notice, however, that it is composed of teflon particles in suspension. [bristolz, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

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       Hmm. I thought graphite was slipperier.
bristolz, Dec 04 2002
  

       The Guiness Book of World Records lists Teflon as the slipperiest substance on Earth. 
Gulherme, Dec 04 2002
  

       It is also a liquid, so that means that teflon would be the only substance wich would be practical, although those wishing for even more speed could pour tufoil over the teflon coated slide, bend up the end a little and try to launch themselves into orbit.
Gulherme, Dec 04 2002
  

       Silicon wax. I used to work in a job that involved supervising kids on one of those big bumpy slide things and we used silicon wax to polish it. You just apply a smear at the top and the kids' mats spread it all down the slide and polish it. The kids used to beg me to put too much on and I would often oblige, though one time I really buttered it on and by the time they got to the flat bit where they're supposed to stop they were absolutely flying. It was carnage - one kid got his front teeth smashed out when he was bowling-balled by another, and there were countless skinned legs and arms as the kids caromed onto the waiting concrete. Could have done with a child catcher then - I got bollocked.
sild, Dec 04 2002
  

       Ohhh I see a law suit comming on.
Gulherme, Dec 04 2002
  

       Didja get pictures? Didja? Didja?
thumbwax, Dec 04 2002
  

       Thanks, [sild], that's really brightened and otherwise drab day. Sorry to hear you got told off. I would give you some sort of award. Oh, and a large sharp spike to put at the bottom of the slide so's you could make "kiddie kebabs".   

       <Adds "large tub of silicone wax polish" to shopping list>
8th of 7, Dec 04 2002
  

       Talking of lawsuits, Teflon is a Trade mark.
egbert, Dec 04 2002
  

       When I was a kid, our low-tech solution was to make the first few passes down the slide while sitting on an ordinary piece of wax paper from the kitchen. Seemed effective enough.
half, Dec 04 2002
  

       Never experienced much trouble with the polished metal slides of my youth, but wouldn't waterslides beat even Teflon for slipperiness? The ultimate would be a magnetized slide where you sat on a layer of air - really can't get any slipperier than that.
DrCurry, Dec 04 2002
  

       And you could get special clothes and helmet to lower your air resistance.
FarmerJohn, Dec 04 2002
  

       // wouldn't waterslides beat even Teflon for slipperiness //   

       There is a special technique for using waterslides which allows one to acheve maximum velocity. It involves lying very flat, head back, with hands behind the head and elbows up. This "backs up" water behind your head, adding to the force applied, but enough leaks past to act as a lubricant. Quite amazing speeds can be acheived. Unfortunately, this technique deprives the person ahead of you of their water suppy and they can actually come to a stop on flatter bits of the slide, meaning that you hit them feet-first with incredible force.   

       This is not a popular thing to do. Make sure the slide ahead of you is empty before performing this activity.
8th of 7, Dec 04 2002
  

       Maybe if we hooked a vat of cooking oil to where the water should come from, we'd have even more fun?
Parvenu, Dec 04 2002
  

       Ahhh very good question Unabubba, but they can stick it to frying pans so a slide would just be a bigger version.
Gulherme, Dec 04 2002
  

       Next time you go to the playground to wax up the slide, do everybody a favor and grease the swingset a bit.
carjug4, Dec 05 2002
  

       And if you order now I'll throw in a anti shock seasaw for free.
Gulherme, Dec 05 2002
  

       Oh yeah! Sounds good to me.   

       [8th] - the mind boggles. I suppose it could get you into a tight fitting tank if it happened to be located at the bottom of the slide.
madradish, Dec 05 2002
  

       Why is Teflon(R) brand plasticky stuff said to be the slipperiest substance? It's pretty good, to be sure, but its usefulness stems not from its lubricity but instead from its durability.
supercat, Dec 05 2002
  

       I am thinking with a little catnip and a woodchipper and we would have a winner.
TBK, Dec 05 2002
  

       Not exactly economical, but still a cool idea.
bspollard, Dec 12 2002
  

       // That would be an egg-slide, right //   

       If you poured cooked rice down it, would you end up making egg-slide rice ?
8th of 7, Dec 12 2002
  

       Anyone ever see one of these "roller slides"- a bunch of pipes will bearings on the ends so the spin as you go down the incline- terrible idea. If you put your hands down, your fingers would get pinched between the rollers. Keep your law suit detector on Gulherme.
slightly, Mar 06 2003
  

       Never try and run up a roller slide, no matter how much run up you get you still end up hurting yourself, believe me, I know.
Gulherme, Mar 06 2003
  

       (slightly): I don't think that pinching of the fingers would be a problem. If you are sliding down the slide, I would assume all the rollers are travelling in the same direction. So while the 'upper' roller is drawing your fingers between the rollers, the next roller is pulling it out.
Cedar Park, Mar 06 2003
  

       good idea, but it would only be good in europe. In america there would be a lawsuit coming shortly afer the thing opens to the public.
FireElf, Jun 21 2006
  
      
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