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The Constellations Your Mother Never Told You About

gives new meaning to "The Big Dipper"
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Considering the seemingly infinite vastness of the heavens, it is difficult to believe that the constellations could possibly be limited to the 88 that were defined by the International Astronomical Union in 1929.

What is it that the IAU is trying to hide by defining only 88 constellations? Could it be that they don’t want you to know that, during those sensual hours of darkness, the celestial star field spreads itself open to reveal untold carnal adventures? It seems they don’t want you looking up to see the heroes and heroines of the ages, held motionless in timeless erotic poses.

It is time that the constellations are reexamined. Project “Cosmic Kama Sutra” would catalogue every salacious star field, each nebulous nebula, until every concupiscent constellation is found.

MotoMannequin, Sep 05 2001

Barely in the oven http://www.theskygu...erving/c-names.html
anecdote [thumbwax, Sep 05 2001, last modified Oct 04 2004]

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       Someone baked up some contemporary constellations somewhere (can't remember): The Homeless Guy, etc.
snarfyguy, Sep 05 2001
  

       "What's that one papa Homer?"
sdm, Sep 05 2001
  

       I've spent hours gazing at Persephone's Thong.
The Military, Sep 05 2001
  

       What - No jokes about Uranus ?
fretzman, Sep 05 2001
  

       Uranus is a planet, fretzman. Not a star. Any hilarity relating to that particular heavenly body would be completely out of place.

<schoolboy snigger>
DrBob, Sep 05 2001
  

       I wondered why my star chart had a 'Sell By' date on it.
hippo, Sep 05 2001
  

       Point taken DrBob - I guess that's the end of the Saturn's ring gag as well.
fretzman, Sep 05 2001
  

       Visible from some parts of Asia, next to the Pleiades one can find the Triads.
lewisgirl, Sep 05 2001
  

       UnaBubba: What I hear you saying, is that the Constellations Your Mother Never Told You About is more like a (very) slow-motion porno flick?   

       I like the way you think.
MotoMannequin, Sep 05 2001
  

       baked.. somewhat. My high-school astronomy teacher fondly referred to two constellations as "roadkill 1" (lepus, the rabbit) and "roadkill 2" (columba, the dove)... not exactly pornographic, but still a little different than the average. She also developed a certain relish in her voice when referring to "hot, young stars..." and I'm told that her current class is learning about "Hercules' boxers." I loved that class...
Urania, Nov 15 2001
  

       Yeah, some astronomers on CNN said it'll be the most spectacular show in any of our lifetimes (!) in North America. Provided it's not cloudy out, I guess, or don't live in a big city.
snarfyguy, Nov 15 2001
  

       Great! I'm up at that hour for a feeding, so why not feed the babies in the yard and look to the skies for some 'fireworks'
barnzenen, Nov 15 2001
  

       anybody know any good links? I had a trawl around the NASA site earlier, but there wasn't really anything good. Saw on the BBC the other night that some NASA scientists have made the best picture yet of the sun, by some kind of inversion of acoustic disturbances - shows all the flares and winds really clearly. Couldn't find that either. Is google having a bad day or something?
lewisgirl, Nov 15 2001
  

       RT, the marketers are doing a pretty pitiful job, if they can't get the organizers to schedule the event on, say, Sunday afternoon for such a large population cluster with such attractive demographics.
beauxeault, Nov 15 2001
  
      
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