Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Exotic Illness.

Up Market Allergies.
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The last twenty years or so has seen the advent of the, 'Exotic Allergy'. Let me say now, I mean no disrespect to genuine allergy sufferers. The fashion began quite innocently, with some poor soul having, an as yet undiagnosed feeling of general unwellness. I suspect "unexperts" on the matter got together, dreamed up a name for this condition and became experts overnight. The sufferer went forth into the world, displaying their feeling of unwellness as a badge of honour, proudly announcing, "I suffer from......disease" to all who would lend a sympathetic ear. As might be expected, it was not long before others attended their doctor's surgery and demanded to be inflicted with the same condition or something that had a grander ring. Now doctors, who are not a slow lot when it comes to making a bob, realized they were onto a good lurk amd began playing the allergy card for all it was worth. Alas, the exotic allergy industry has reached a peak, growth is slowing rapidly. This is where the HB inventors can be of invaluable use cooking up new names for the exotic diseases industry. I think back to how disadvantaged I was when a Bisto Kid during the second world war. Times were hard, our family could only afford to have one cold a winter and we had to share that.
Lesser Spotted Kiwi, Sep 11 2012

Jambes Lourdes http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heavy_legs
[hippo, Sep 11 2012]

'Heavy Legs' - the BBC report http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7779126.stm
[hippo, Sep 11 2012]

Colpo d'aria http://www.bbc.co.u...s/magazine-16141184
a hit of air [4and20, Sep 11 2012]

The exotic drug name http://www.usatoday...91&SID=tef4iatkv4ps
"I must be very ill, the doctor prescribed Hypochondryn". [Phrontistery, Sep 14 2012]

[link]






       <Pythons>   

       You had a cold ? Luxury ! We had to buy our colds.   

       </Pythons>
8th of 7, Sep 11 2012
  

       I've been told Italians will go to the doctor at the first sign of a cold. Perhaps this is one of the reasons they live so long. On the other hand, if we were all doctors, we wouldn't have to go to the doctors so often.
4and20, Sep 11 2012
  

       The French are good at this, with their mysterious affliction of 'Heavy Legs' which no other people in the world suffer from (see link).
hippo, Sep 11 2012
  

       Well at least they don't have dangerous air, like the Italians [link]
4and20, Sep 11 2012
  

       Nothing that a course of leeches won't put right ...
8th of 7, Sep 11 2012
  

       //The exotic allergy industry has reached a peak, growth is slowing rapidly.//   

       I dunno about that. Haven't you noticed the proliferation of “gluten free” products lately? Want to place bets on how many self-diagnosed “gluten allergies” are anything more than simple neurosis?
ytk, Sep 11 2012
  

       Yes, that's exactly the sort of media-fuelled hysterical scare story that has driven so many quite innocent products off the market, like Paregoric, Venetian Ceruse, and Radithor.
8th of 7, Sep 11 2012
  

       If I hear one more 50 year old woman say she "recently found out she has Celiac disease"... (no offense to other, less attention seeking middle aged women).
DIYMatt, Sep 11 2012
  

       Ah Celiacs (Coeliacs or whatever) disease, The crowning glory of all allergies. It leaves being 'Lactose Intolerant" for dead on the mystic allergies sympathy gathering scale. Will it ever be surpassed I wonder? Knocking on the door of late, has been the less sympathy gathering, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Disenteric Enteritis. Wtf is that? Also Making a last ditch stand at a come back is Bi Polar disease, formerly known by the less romantic name of Manic Depressive, which I suspect was rapidly discarded because of giving the impression of being completely off one's rocker. Each of these conditions are eagerly plugged by, over the hill women doctors on television morning shows, with a follow up in women's magazines, television series and a soon to be released, award winning, fully illustrated seven hundred and forty one page beautifully bound in genuine leather book covering all known aspects of the allergy. Real or imagined, there are a growing number of women out there, all eager to attend morning tea sessions at friend's houses, accompanied by a six week old baby, confessing in all solemnity, their baby has recently been diagnosed as having the very latest on offer mystic intolerance.
Lesser Spotted Kiwi, Sep 11 2012
  

       There's always hoof'n-mouth disease.
FlyingToaster, Sep 11 2012
  

       Thought that was confined to Politicians.
Lesser Spotted Kiwi, Sep 11 2012
  

       Reminds me of a local fibromyalgia/ME sufferer who is unable to work - "You just feel like the plug has been pulled. You have got no energy and concentration is very hard," - but manages to run several blogs, travel locally and abroad to awareness raising events and attend various social events and support groups. Where does she find the energy?
Phrontistery, Sep 11 2012
  

       Can't tell if lazy... or mono...   

       I've often contemplated the psychopathology of the phenomenon of which you speak. Mine own reasoning leads me to beleive that the collective hyper-nondiscriminatory aspect of our current culture leads children to mature without an objective self-assesment. In this metaphorically mirrorless society, individuals seek diagnoses as a form of self-identification. But that is just one person's humble musings.   

       [+] because this phenomenon has been likewise noticed ad nauseum.
MikeD, Sep 11 2012
  

       // humble musings //   

       That sounds like you might have incipient Idiopathic Self-Deprecation Syndrome. The best thing to do would be to start a support group for other sufferers, but not for yourself, as you only have a mild form and don't want to make a fuss.
8th of 7, Sep 12 2012
  

       That's a good theory miked. I "like" it. Same goes for tattoos.
leinypoo13, Sep 13 2012
  

       A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. [-]
Voice, Sep 14 2012
  

       I wonder how many realise that cellulose extracted from waste paper is the standard diluent in all the pills they swallow? Mmm, tasty.
Phrontistery, Sep 14 2012
  

       I must agree with [Voice] here, though I wouldn't be surprised if there were self-diagnosed morons out there. The trouble is how to work out who has chronic fatigue and who's just lazy...   

       And as for your doctor conspiricy theory... really? Don't you think they would make more money by having the patient return a hundred times rather than fobbing them off with a label?
TomP, Sep 16 2012
  

       No, not always - it depends on how they're paid.   

       If a medic diagnoses a patient with "Chronic psychosomatic syndrome" then they can probably go on charging the HMO for some form of "continuing care", plus writing repeat prescriptions - bboth activities take zero time as they are effectively delegated to cheap admin staff.   

       In the meantime the doc can use appointment time to see new patients, who also get a nice vague label and join the contiuing revenue stream. Everyone wins (except taxpayers and people who have to pay for their own health insurance and care, and who cares about them? )
8th of 7, Sep 16 2012
  

       The formula is simple. Apple has it to an art form. Raise awareness. Flog it to death. Create improved version. Repeat exercise. Coming soon. Super hyper allergenics xpealadosis 2. for those tired with their present diagnosis.
Lesser Spotted Kiwi, Sep 17 2012
  

       //and as for your conspiracy theory. Tom P.// Motion creates a motion. You know that There is no such thing as a no sale. Either you sell them a reason to buy or they sell you a reason not too"(Boiler Room).
Lesser Spotted Kiwi, Sep 17 2012
  

       "Ask your Doctor if hypochondria is right for you …"
8th of 7, Sep 17 2012
  

       So... say you happen to have symptoms which are untestable, and nearly everyone you encounter with these same symptoms is debilitated by them, but you think they're awesome and you habitually avoid doctors like the plague and are hardly ever ill...   

       ...what's the word for that then?   

       Oooh. My Barry suffers from that.   

       Shut up and drink your coffee.
Lesser Spotted Kiwi, Sep 18 2012
  

       Hahahaha...   

       // ....what's the word for that then?// Saitoftheearth comes to mind.
Lesser Spotted Kiwi, Sep 18 2012
  
      
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