Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Squirrelling Fox

Who ya gona call...
  [vote for,

"Scratching in your loft keeping you awake at night?

You know it's squirrels but what can you do? We all know traps don't work.

What you need is a Squirrelling Fox.

Give us a call and we'll be straight 'round to pop a bushy-tailed hunter up your hatch."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

And it's ecologically sound too:

Instead of hunting them down like dogs, we catch our sly, red coated friends and re-train them for loft-based pest control.

We'll be quids-in with the landed gentry as well as our grubby-haired, do-gooding crusty cousins.

We can't go wrong.

(Ref: "The Ratting Badger" Thurcaston University Press. ISBN 0-23-88624-7).

eyelevelgrill23, Jan 16 2003

The Jacks of one Halfbaker http://moniplex.com.../pix/p8894cbd13.jpg
Who would prefer to remain anonymous. Well, it's Susen. [DrCurry, Oct 04 2004]

Caged Coon http://moniplex.com.../pix/p8e851570d.jpg
[DrCurry, Oct 04 2004]

Die, Coon, Die! http://moniplex.com.../pix/p3876fa0d5.jpg
Sheesh, aren't there laws about this sort of thing? Maybe not. [DrCurry, Oct 04 2004]

Dinky Doggy http://moniplex.com.../pix/pfee1164aa.jpg
[DrCurry, Oct 04 2004]


       What have you got against squirrels? Squirrels are an edangered species.   

       And anyway Jack Russels are more efficent and deadly.
talen, Jan 16 2003

       // Squirrels are an edangered species //   

       Sadly, this is not true, although I'm doing my best. Pesky critters.   

       I totally agree about JR's; for rats, mice, squirrels and the like (even rabbits), JR's are unsurpassed - little hairy killing machines. And they can be used has hot water bottles, with the added advantage that they don't go cold after a few hours.   

       The thought of a fox tramping round the attic is intriguing. Foxes are bigger and heavier than JRs. In a house with a traditional lath-and-plaster ceiling I suspect the fox wouldn't be up there very long. SO then you have a fox-sized hole in your ceiling, and a very aggravated fox running round the top floor of your house.   

       That makes this a truly Half-Baked idea.
8th of 7, Jan 16 2003

       I've found that JR's are great for getting rid of infestations of children.
Gulherme, Jan 16 2003

       What's the m-f-d for, talen?
DrBob, Jan 16 2003

       I just think that this idea has no real merit, foxes aren't really "killing machines" like JRs and it seemed to me that this was just one of those crazy ideas that just pop into your head and are just crazy. And besides squirells aren't a real menace like rats. And I really wanted to post my first [m-f-d]   

       My granny used to have a JR named "dick dog" because of his crazy personality, he was employed as a rat killer but grew old and was retired, lived to be 18 years and passed on a few years back, he is greatly missed. (God rest his soul)
talen, Jan 16 2003

       There are distinct reasons for using the m-f-d tag. "I don't like this idea" is not one of them.
DrBob, Jan 16 2003

       Sorry tag deleted.   

       Have Chem exam tomorrow, see you all in the afternoon.
talen, Jan 16 2003

       Good man.
DrBob, Jan 16 2003

       Thank you.
talen, Jan 16 2003

DrBob, Jan 16 2003

       I saw a fox the other day, crossing a snowy field. Which completely puzzled me, as I thought they were native to Europe, not America.
DrCurry, Jan 16 2003

       Foxes are resilient little buggers aren't they? Probably clung to some drift wood to get there :-)
talen, Jan 16 2003

       // And they can be used has hot water bottles... //   

       Tough to fill though.
waugsqueke, Jan 16 2003

       Indeed, the second time you try to pour the hot water into them, they are somewhat less than enthusiastic. even less so than the first time.
8th of 7, Jan 16 2003

       ... and by the 6th or 7th time...
PeterSilly, Jan 16 2003

       Then they bite your ankles and don't let go
talen, Jan 17 2003

       I assure you that don't have to pour hot water down it's throat to induce a JR to bite your ankles, or indeed any other available bits if it's in a bad mood. You don't want to meet a JR in a bad mood.
8th of 7, Jan 17 2003

       There used to be a very large man in my hometown that was named 'Jack Russell.' Oddly enough, he was an exterminator. This caused no end to the amusement of me and my friends.
Evil_Baron_Moustachio, Jan 17 2003

       Jack (no-brains) Russells - Gutsy Little bleeders
The Kat, Jan 17 2003

       <semi-interesting aside:> I live in the village where jack russel dogs were first bred, by the reverend jack russel, no less. At one time, we had the only working JRs in the area.   

       //And besides squirells aren't a real menace like rats//   

       Yes, they are, they're vermin, at least in the UK. Not so much the native red squirrel (which is, if not actually then very nearly, an endangered species), but its bigger, meaner grey cousin, certainly so. They're rats with tails.   

       And, just for the record, me feline friend, the jacks I've known have easily been the most intelligent of all the dogs we've had or known well.
yamahito, Jan 18 2003

       Death to the greys!! The red army shall be victorious!!!
talen, Jan 20 2003

       This is a great name to call a pub.
skinflaps, Jan 21 2003


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