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USB Industrial Office Complex Tent Revival

Because Dot-Matrix Was to Printing What The Ramones Were to Rock and Roll.
  [vote for,

Office a little quiet lately? Do you pine for the days when large printing jobs required earplugs and office complexes were industrial-noise hazards?

Well, want NO MORE, poor office drone! Here to take you back to 1988 is the FortCo USB Dot-Matrix Printing Emulator!

Contained in this classy, modern 9" x 4" x 2" inordinately thick, beige plastic housing resides a simple, low- definition speaker and proprietary USB print-translator. Connected between your computer or network hub and computers, the adjustable USB appliance will emit the dulcet tones of a dot-matrix printer as your high- definition, full color documents make their way through the bowels of whatever printer you currently run!

Adjustable calibration means that you can vary the length of the audible printing drone to coincide with your printer's average print speed! The size of the print job is analyzed in the integrated print job interpreter and the on-board speaker and electronics take care of the rest! Pre- programmed routines also include the classic "sharp, etching sound of a worn out ink ribbon" and the occasional "sound of broken plastic gears becasue Gary from down the office dropped a coffee stirrer in the blasted thing ... again" sound!

Additional sound packs can be downloaded to emulate a wide array of manufacturers too! Such as XEROX, Cannon as well as Oklahoma's leader in technological innovation: OKIdata!

Letsbuildafort, Jan 29 2015

Inspiration:Dot Matrix Laser Printer Dot_20Matrix_20Laser_20Printer
[MikeOliver] [Letsbuildafort, Jan 29 2015]

BEHOLD! https://www.youtube...watch?v=o4JnqNyVLbU
OKIdata Microline90 [Letsbuildafort, Jan 29 2015]

oki memories http://www.oki.co.n...id=tcm:135-10918-16
They still sell it. I knew I had an eye for quality back then. [mylodon, Jan 31 2015]

IBM 029 http://en.wikipedia...#IBM_029_Card_Punch
Unforgettable [8th of 7, Jan 31 2015]


       With typewriter option? Click, Clack, Click, Clack, Bell, Zzzzzzip...
Ling, Jan 30 2015

       Ahh, who can forget the filling-loosening screech of an Epson MX-80 in NLQ mode ? Or the floorbard-pounding thump of an ASR-33 Teletype, hammering along flat out at a stunning 8 cps ?
8th of 7, Jan 30 2015

       ah... i remember that screech... i had an mx-80 and a ml-320   

       felt like you were actually getting work done. it's a shame burning CD's never was so visceral.
mylodon, Jan 31 2015

       You would have loved the IBM 029 card punch, then.   

8th of 7, Jan 31 2015

       ( What did you say? "My other went to the floor" Speak up boy Stop mumbling. )   

       I wonder what sort of hearing defects the various loud machines/printers caused ? I would bet that loudness, and certain frequencies, and how close the ear was to the printer would be variables on what and how much hearing was lost.   

       Still ear buds and rock music have likely broken more the tiny fibers in the cochlea of human ears than all those printers.   

       What did you say? "My other went to the floor" Speak up boy stop mumbling.
popbottle, Jan 31 2015


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