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United Airline's Goose-along, Goose-be-gone

fly the friendly skies, and help both United, and Canadian Geese
  (+12, -1)(+12, -1)
(+12, -1)
  [vote for,

With United Airlines recent financial issues, and yesterdays near accident caused by Canandian Geese, I suggest United Airlines take on a new marketing strategy.

Goose-along, Goose-be-gone

Each passenger is presented two Canadian Geese, when they purchase a ticket to fly anywhere in Canada.

On arrival in say, hmm Vancouver, the passengers disembark with their new pals, and voila. A two birds with one stone sort of solution is found.

United gets passengers and money, and the United States gets rid of the problem of too many geese near the airports.

I think.

blissmiss, Jan 16 2009

Fly United http://www.dking-ga...AD_70FlyUnited.html
Classic Poster (slightly risque') [csea, Jan 17 2009]


       Does George W. still have time to declare war on geese?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 16 2009

       Not sure, but he's up to his eyeballs in goose shit, I know that!
blissmiss, Jan 16 2009

       Were these geese really near the airport, or just near the Hudson River? Anyway, I'm officially starting the Save The Geese campaign. I love Canada Geese and I don't want to see the whole NY population slaughtered. +
phundug, Jan 16 2009

       I don't understand phundug, love the geese and glad the people on the plane had such a wonderful escape.
po, Jan 16 2009

       [+] any promotion that includes complementary geese.
FlyingToaster, Jan 16 2009

       link [rcarty] ? of course we care.
po, Jan 16 2009

       The Canadian goose neighbor of mine (lives here in my pond)(erm.. his pond) is a loud mouthed-bossy bird brain. If he were aboard any comcial flight, he would be making those flight attendants 'Really move their Tail' for him. And if anyone-old, young, male, or otherwise, even looks ( takes a gander at) at Mr. McQuacks sweetheart...well, so far I've escaped serious injury. And I'm not even emotionally invilved with his SO.   

       heh, fun idea... [+] LOL
Sir_Misspeller, Jan 16 2009

       Note that the emergency landing in the Hudson River was a US Airways flight, not a United Airlines flight.
jutta, Jan 16 2009

       I wonder if any terrorist organisation has considered rearing new-hatched geese in such a way that all their food and warmth comes from a large circular fan which makes a loud whining noise?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 16 2009

       Saves them from having to make that long migration, too.
phoenix, Jan 16 2009

       \\ terrorist organisation has considered \\   

       If not already ... They may now. Perish the thought!!! A Gosling's mama, the air bus.
Sir_Misspeller, Jan 16 2009

       //If he were aboard any comcial flight// Sp. "comical".
Spacecoyote, Jan 17 2009

       I'm not sure that crash landing an airliner full of passengers in the middle of a river is the type of thing most people would classify as a near accident.
jhomrighaus, Jan 17 2009

       in the freezing cold and lots of river traffic.
po, Jan 17 2009

       what if you have sworn to never again engage in the transportation of poultry for any purpose?
WcW, Jan 17 2009

       My experiments with adaptive magnetic feild implants allows me to direct the movements of entire flocks by influencing only the Alpha goose in each V.   

       My minions of minimum destruction will soon be unleashing their payloads upon Humvee drivers across North America.   

       I appologise for any inconvieniences this may cause as the last of the bugs are worked out.   

       Not that I want to diminish the occasion, but surely, since aero engines are currently tested with 'chicken launchers' for safety before they go ner a plane, should the testing be upgraded for 'the larger bird'?   

       We have Canada Geese over her in the UK. They're common as muck in England, but when my Grandad was up in Scotland watching an osprey, the keeper at the park was quite impressed that they had 'a pair' of canada geese.   

       Nice one to the pilot, but hopefully the other geese will learn from their brethren's mistakes.
Skrewloose, Jan 17 2009

       /I know the Canada Goose doesn't fly as high as the Asian Bar-Headed Goose/   

       Who doesn't?
Texticle, Jan 18 2009


//Note that the emergency landing in the Hudson River was a US Airways flight, not a United Airlines flight.//

       A United 767 had a double bird strike in 2007. One engine kept running, fortunately. And two years before, the same flight ran into a flock of birds and had to return. United flight 843 from Chicago to Sao Paulo--you might want to avoid it.
ldischler, Jan 18 2009

       No no no if you do this, there will be more geese at airports, not less. They will evolve to lose their ability to fly, grow dependent upon the airlines, demand cheap tickets and mileage compensation for all of those years that they flew themselves back and forth to South America, make a terrible mess of drug trafficking control, as well as reduce a classic Monty Python sketch on the origin of northern coconuts to the size of a swallow's onboard carryon.   

       \\ Tough geese \\   

       Well, they are Canadian, after all. Sounds like an average day in Kapuskasing.
RayfordSteele, Jan 19 2009

       jutta, noted. But United is tanking, and the extra revenue from "Goose Saving Organizations" just might be their ticket, hahaha, out.   

       I figured each extra unexpected flight north would help.   

       (And yes I call it a "near accident", when it didn't end up in a full fuel flight flattening forty square miles of New York. It's all in your perspective, I reckon ;-) )
blissmiss, Jan 20 2009

       //a full fuel flight flattening forty square miles of New York//   

       Did I miss something?
Spacecoyote, Jan 20 2009

       As blissmiss points out, that's what this one *didn't* do (that is, crash into an office building, similar to what happened during the 9/11 attacks.)
jutta, Jan 20 2009

       a miracle on one of your great streets...
po, Jan 20 2009

       That would be cubic miles, then?
Spacecoyote, Jan 20 2009

       gotta love the "random" button.
FlyingToaster, Apr 27 2012

       It would be funnier if you pressed the random button and it gave you a goose.
AusCan531, Apr 27 2012

       It would certainly be very random. As for funny... The sudden and unexpected arrival of a goose while I'm using a computer doesn't strike me as something I'd laugh about, expecially if the goose had no prior warning either.   

       I might laugh if it happened to somebody else, but I would laugh while fetching a shotgun and a first aid kit.
Alterother, Apr 27 2012

       Goose be gone-gone.
blissmiss, Apr 27 2012

       A well thought out environmentally conscious idea that would be especially popular on the Toronto<>Florida run (and even more popular amongst the golf-course owners in between).
FlyingToaster, Apr 27 2012

       More like goose be dinner. I never kill something unless I intend to eat it. I also try to wear and/or sleep on what's left over, if possible.
Alterother, Apr 27 2012

       They could be force-fed airline meals (gavage), thereby saving the poor passengers the ordeal, and producing delicious foie gras into the bargain.
Everyone wins (except the geese)
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Apr 27 2012

       What happens when the TSA staff, umm, "goose" the geese?
UnaBubba, Apr 27 2012

       Feathers would fly, I fear
blissmiss, Apr 27 2012


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