Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Unknown Meat Detector

device to determine the exact source of meat served in fast food restaurant
  (+15, -1)(+15, -1)
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Often the question is asked...do you know what you are eating in your nuggets/burgers etc... Be able to answer once and for all This could work either of two ways, either a small portable device for individual use (if possible), or a much larger device to be used by regulatory agencies. Insert a sample of the hamburger patty, get a printout...25% beef, 35 % horsemeat, 25% sawdust and rice husks
senatorjam, Jul 16 2002

Potted Meat Food Product http://www.thatguy....uck/chuck03-01.html
"partially defatted cooked pork fatty tissue" [angel, Jul 16 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

It's not just meat that's scary http://www.1800popp...12&tab=1&prodlist=1
Have a look at 'SPICY TORTILLA JUMPIN' JACKS® BREADED PEPPERJACK CHEESE' [angel, Jul 16 2002, last modified Nov 16 2005]

DNA Scanner http://www.halfbake...he_20whole_20family
use one of these [FarmerJohn, Jul 20 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

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       Bleurgh. UB, it's too early for that sort of talk.
salachair, Jul 16 2002
  

       I eat in fast food restaraunts only when I have absolutely no other choice, and on the whole I prefer not to know what I'm eating. But if ohters want this facility, fine. The device for regulatory authorities has mnore merit and for that reason I shall award a croissant (Ingredients: Wheat flour, water, yeast, butter, salt, rainsing ageents, emulsifiers, ..... the list goes on and on)
8th of 7, Jul 16 2002
  

       Farinaceous Carbohydrate = flour, no?
pottedstu, Jul 16 2002
  

       Mommy, what does Mechanically separated mean?
thumbwax, Jul 16 2002
  

       It's called 'mechanically recovered' over here, which sounds even more suspect.
angel, Jul 16 2002
  

       Mechanically seperated = lips and assholes
Mr Burns, Jul 16 2002
  

       "Mechanically recovered" is a more scary sounding term, but "value added meat" (or emulsification) is far more unpleasant in reality. Basically meat (usually that whose appearance makes it impossible to sell to even the most hardened faggot, haggis or McDonalds eater) is dissolved by some process I couldn't explain into a sort of slurry and piped into processed meat products as a cheap filling product. I think your detector might just get mired in this grey slop, unable to work out what was once what.
namaste, Jul 16 2002
  

       //some process I couldn't explain//
Simplifying somewhat, it's blasted off the carcass by a high-pressure water jet, and mixed with sodium polyphosphate. This makes it absorb some of the water so that a) it can be 'worked' more easily, and 2) the ultimate consumer (which may be you but will not be me) pays for the water as though it is meat.
angel, Jul 16 2002
  

       Take core sample, analyze DNA composition of various particles within the meat... determine the percentage of various species of animal contained in the meat... the report for the average hot dog extends a couple of feet...
polartomato, Jul 18 2002
  

       The fun way to do this would be (1) extract DNA (2) inject DNA into ova (3) implant fertilised ova into animal wombs (4) see what bizarre beasts are born.   

       Failing that, might I recommend vegetarianism (of course, all potatoes are mechanically separated).
pottedstu, Jul 18 2002
  

       this idea and its annotations affirm my resolve to eat nothing with a face, unless I've seen it killed and prepared in front of me. [Hypocritical: I and my family eat foie gras on Christmas morning, well, our neighbour imports Burgundy and keeps getting given kilo after kilo of the stuff.]
sappho, Jul 19 2002
  

       "..eat nothing with a face.." Sappho, do you ever feel the eyes of those potatoes are following you around the room?
pfperry, Jul 20 2002
  

       I eat everything with my face. Well, part of it.
calum, Jul 20 2002
  

       Personal Best ..9 little plusses
senatorjam, Jul 26 2002
  

       Just to prove you wrong, I'll make it 10. (The cup is half full today)
dag, Jul 26 2002
  

       I'll see your 10, and raise you 1 - croissant and ale
thumbwax, Jul 26 2002
  

       I recently ate something called "fish" curry, it was only later it dawned on me, what is fish? Is that anything flapping about in the ocean and streams. If it was snapper, why couldn't they say? This would require device to also have access to a database of fishes
crunchie, Aug 28 2002
  

       "Honey, is this meat or is this cake?"   

       --George Carlin
bristolz, Aug 28 2002
  

       If you want _real_ food, raise, feed, slaughter, cook, and eat it yourself.
BinaryCookies, Aug 29 2002
  
      
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