Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Unwiniser Filterbode Radiophonic Interferoden

Almost immedisoon eliminty of annoy telephody conversatibodes.
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Mobley phonio is undubitably grady revolutio for communicado. In emergentode or frightly dangerbus, mobley phonio enabley invaluably telecommunicado with policey person or ambulancio, or even fireperson or coastiguard.

But, kindly folkpersons, mobley phonio on carriagetrain or in restaurode is hugenessly annoyo. Loudly spoking annoyo peoplode, with "I'm on the carriagetrain dearperson, anticipode homewarden in threety mintibums". Honstibode! It's enough to drive you insanimate.

Solutio presento! MaxCo Communibold Technologio presents the "Unwiniser Filterbode Radiophonic Interferoden". Simply flibbet the discreedly congealed switchyplate, and all telecommunicatios within a sixty metral diametric are renderized into purish Unwinese. All conversatio soonly decease, with muchly perplextude all round, and then blissy silencemode restored to your carriagetrain journey or restaurode experience. Deep joy.

MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 12 2007

Stanley Unwin, and Unwinese, rarefacty dialecto. http://en.wikipedia...ey_Unwin_(comedian)
Deep joy. [MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 12 2007]

Baked Radiophonic Interferodens http://en.wikipedia...i/Cell_phone_jammer
[mylodon, Dec 12 2007]

[Zen_tom]'s Unwinbodi spik Unwiniser
[theleopard, Dec 12 2007]


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Annotation:







       WIFRT, I thought, what is this gobbledegook? But with a little concentration, it's actually easy to understand.
Of course, audio translation on the fly is verging towards magic, although it is word-for-word and not context-dependent. (Not to mention the dubious legality of a thing such as this...)
neutrinos_shadow, Dec 12 2007
  

       Well it has got the jammers, but where are the bees?
4whom, Dec 12 2007
  

       Why have I never heard of Unwin? This is very much the sort of thing I've heard of, but I haven't.   

       From the link: "Some time in the 60s, there was an American who was campaigning against animal nudity, and came to Britain to further his cause. He was invited to appear on a current affairs programme Tonight(?), and was interviewed by Unwin. Unwin started off with intelligible English and gradually slid over into Unwinese." Brilliant.
Ned_Ludd, Dec 12 2007
  

       Jim Davidson thought he was great so used to invite him on his show far too often. He did the same with Burt Kwok.
marklar, Dec 12 2007
  

       Aaaaah, I thought that was really funny, but then a wave of criticality and negativity broke over me, and now I can only see baked goods everywhere, and not a scrap of original thought.   

       So I'm going to give you a bone.   

       [edit]   

       Some perplexitude has been lifted, and with it my bone.
mylodon, Dec 12 2007
  

       //Why have I never heard of Unwin?//   

       <grumpy old man>
That's because he was a talented entertainer, not a celebrity. There's a difference.
</gom>
pertinax, Dec 12 2007
  

       Oh woeful distrupset! Deep gratimost to [theleopody] for weblinky to [zoney- tim]'s Unwiniser. Much hugemoist creditation to [zoney-tim] - he's anticipoded in centrally essences the conceptibum of automotio translifold into Unwinese, therefordly makey my idealy partimost redundo.   

       Howevermost, the presentnow idealy is deeply for the porpoise of preventy conversatingles rather than enhancio much securisecret communibolds.   

       And [mylodentry], deep thankly also - moistly graciousfold.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 12 2007
  

       Deep joy. O, yes. Still - magicko technibodely
globaltourniquet, Dec 12 2007
  

       Ut-whay am-ay i-ay issing-may?   

       "Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits
On a lurgid bee.
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
And hooptiously drangle me
With crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don't!"
phoenix, Dec 12 2007
  

       My favority part is the mintibum. If only!
bungston, Dec 12 2007
  

       //Still - magicko technibodely//   

       If I may parrotface Arthstroder C. Clarkey, "All sufficely advancimoe technibodely visipops as to magicko.". The technibodely in the Unwiniser Filterbode Radiophonic Interferoden is muchmorely advancimoe, but defmostly not magicko. Perllow me to explify. A broadlyband scanntenna receptacle intercopes the incomely radiophony wavicles. Delicute intrimost muchhastily micropredecessor deconvolutes the wavicles, and sophistimated speaky-understandy- softprogramme regnifies the wordles. Muchly ingenextreme algorithmimic then substifies and transposits the releficant syllabubs, and the outsending of this is sent to a speaky- synthetimouther. Finally stepwise, synthetomouthed speakies are transradiophonically re-radimitted at a greatly muchmore highly signy strongth, so swampy origibost wavicles and - Violanty! - muchly annoyo person earifies only purish Uniwinese.   

       No magicko. Battriflies not includy.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 12 2007
  

       But what if it turns out to be a Boojum ?
8th of 7, Dec 12 2007
  

       If you're spikechasey Snarks, bestermost to resting your mobley phonio at domestibode.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 12 2007
  

       Deep joy! Much wonderment at how pedantpickypeoplelollies reactifcate?
RayfordSteele, Dec 13 2007
  

       i once saw a diagram of a visual transform repeatedly applied to a picture; the first transform looked like ////// visual noise, a few more transforms there was an array of pictures # like the source picture; a few more transforms remade the original picture   

       if perhaps a person could find a tolerable version then hear that representation
beanangel, Mar 13 2008
  


 

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