Used Food

"Simpry succurent," repeated the oriental host as he wove through the dimly lit alleys of the Burmese Quarter of Doggirldont. The western businessman followed him closely and thought how much he hated hearing the S-word, but he looked forward with some trepidation to the exotic restaurant that served "only mandalins and speciar foleign devirs". His chain of fight-or-flight convenience stores, 9-Eleven, was doing well, and his main supplier of natural herb anthrax remedy had promised an evening out, out of the ordinary.

In two minutes they had arrived and folded their legs under the low table in their cubicle-like booth. In front of them was the first course, a large tank of piranhas that swam expectantly in circles. A burly cook came with what looked like a leg of lamb that he plunged into the tank. He grappled with the bone above the surface as the voracious fish attacked and ripped at the flesh, making the water roil. The chef then deftly lifted the bone with four or five piranhas still hanging on and submerged it in a vat of hot oil that also bubbled and spit from the wet fish. The businessman's mouth watered as the golden brown creatures were served, but as he started to pick at the meat well away from the needle-sharp teeth, his host stopped him with a wave. With chopsticks and a knife, he showed how to open the belly to partake of its contents, discarding the rest. Doing likewise, the westerner was surprised to discover the luscious taste of the meatloaf-like patties.

The main course was obviously inside a baby shark, crowded in a glass tank that was rolled before them. Several large metal coils were immersed in the tank, and the lights dimmed and flickered as the water started boiling within seconds. In five minutes the chef was back, hoisted out the shark with a large hook and gutted it, letting two steaming barracudas flop out. These in turn were opened revealing mutilated, white-eyed minnows. The stench and flaccid consistency reminded the businessman of the rotted herring served from bulging tins in Stockholm, but the tiny fish had an exquisite flavor.

On the dessert trolly was the most expensive treat, a bouquet of meat-eating flowers, but there was also an owl and a large snake with a swelling in its middle double its girth. Upon seeing the sleeping pit bull puppy with distended tummy, the businessman motioned to his supplier that he'd had enough. On the dark street, he kept close to his host who had recounted a rumor of a diner who had been snatched leaving that very restaurant. The unfortunate bloke, found near the docks, had not died quickly. The only injury was a gash in the abdomen; the stomach had been opened and emptied.