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Whose Baby's Whose?

Never mix newborns up again.
(+2, -2)
  [vote for,

So newborns are never mixed up in the maternity ward write their mothers full name on their forehead in permanent marker (it only lasts a few days really) and no babies will ever be mixed up again and people will know which baby is theirs when they're gawking at it through that baby viewing window.
Hirudinea, Jul 15 2009


       Isn't the risk of a mix-up part of the fun? You could end up winning big and taking home a baby much better than the one you produced on your own.
swimswim, Jul 15 2009

       Sp: Whose Baby's Whose?
csea, Jul 15 2009

       Never mix apostrophes up again.
theleopard, Jul 15 2009

       The birth of Albania's first Gaeilge speaking Maori immigrant's son only caused widespread panic after they wrote her name (Gjashtë Sé Ono) on his forehead...
4whom, Jul 15 2009

       Or the hexen version, "Which witch's which"?
zen_tom, Jul 15 2009

       ......... Why not, quest? I've been thinking about those babies for a long time now. I wonder if their skin is more sensitive to temperature, and if they can use crayons on themselves, and if any great painters were of this disposition and it eventually led to their toxic death... I wonder if they have nightmares about their nemesis ink and if you can get them to rat their friends out just by waving a sharpie in front of them. I wonder if they even have dreams.
daseva, Jul 15 2009

       [admin: fixed name, but I had to think about it. Thanks, csea.]   

       Was this prompted by the recent rerun of the "This American Life" story about two children, mixed-up at birth, learning the truth about their biological families after 40 years?   

       I would like this, just because it would make newborn wards more interesting to look at. Screw names, let the mother doodle whatever she likes, like a participant in a magic trick signing the item that will miraculously reappear.   

       (Otherwise, what 21 Quest said.)   

       Intrauterine tattos, anyone? (I know, I know, if they all say "mom" we're back to step 1.)
jutta, Jul 15 2009

       I am skeptical about the ability of the average parent to generate a doodle of sufficient coolness to serve this role. People who come into the ED after a trauma are sometimes assigned a trauma name by a computer because no-one knows their real name. A similar program could generate a Birth Glyph, which would be cooler than what the mother might doodle. The Birth Glyph might come in handy later for Glyph Rings, Glyph shirts, cryptic signatures and other things after birth.   

       To be clear there could be a seperate After Birth Glyph to keep the afterbirths straight as well.   

       Re bracelets: Bah. Those bracelets are sharp and they dig into the sensitive babby skin. Also somewhat déclassé. No, glyphs are it.
bungston, Jul 15 2009

       Isn't someone going to post a solution involving RFID tags?
swimswim, Jul 15 2009

       Are you sure the the mouther could not come up with a nice doodle? If they had an epidural who knows what you will get.
dev45, Jul 16 2009

       How about simply making DNA testing manditory before leaving the hospital. "...Mary Jones, in the case of 2 day old Amber, you are NOT the mother!"
Jscotty, Jul 16 2009

       This won't help a lot. The hospital is just as likely to mix up the mothers as the babies, leaving you back at square one.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 18 2009

       an epidoodle
pertinax, Jul 19 2009

       What about stickers? You could use a modified price-tag to note the baby's mother, time of birth, &c. &c., and just stick it on as soon as the little fellow's dry. Maybe on the top of their heads, for easy readability, and to make sure it doesn't peel it off and eat it.
duh_don, Jul 20 2009


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