Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
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Win the Beauty with the Beasts

Zoo visit service
  (+7, -2)
(+7, -2)
  [vote for,

A cool breeze came through the kitchen window and played with Wanda's hair as she loaded the dish washer. The evening sun made the restless strands sparkle. Her daughter, Cloe scribbled "animo" pictures at the table as her legs swung under the chair. Now that work and supper were over for the day, Wanda was hoping her love, Cliff, would manage to come by later after an unusual extra shift. She would gladly stay up late to again feel the glow from his warm smile and voice.

Suddenly her thoughts were nudged by strange honking sounds from the street that became louder and drew nearer. Cloe stood up on her chair and with wide eyes, pointed and exclaimed, "Horsies!" Two large workhorses came around the corner, pulling what looked like an old circus wagon. It had big, wooden, spoked wheels and its sides were nearly covered by long brass pipes that glistened in the descending sun. As the wagon pulled up in front of her house, she saw an old, bearded driver and another that sat beside him with long whiskers. No, it was a seal! And it was skillfully playing the bulb horns with its mouth. Wanda untied her apron and primped her hair as she came out onto the lawn. Cloe followed but hid and peeked out from behind her mommy's legs. Curious neighbors peeked through their windows or came out on their porches.

The seal stopped playing and instead barked and clapped its flippers. From the back of the wagon, a small monkey dressed in a red and gold vest and bellhop hat came towards them and sprinkled flower petals in a circle around them. Three cats then sprang from the wagon, walked up and rubbed their sides against Wanda's legs and their erect tails tickled her hands. At the same time, the old man busied himself pouring out what seemed to be seeds in a pattern on the grass. He returned to the wagon and opened a small door letting out a rainbow of fluttering color. About 20 parrots with bright red, blue and yellow feathers flew over their heads and then turned and settled on the lawn, picking at the seeds. A large, colorful, moving heart was formed. Another, younger man in slouch hat and moustache had appeared at the back of the wagon and proceeded to energetically turn a large crank. The old man faced backwards on his bench and, pressing keys, caused "Daisy, Daisy" to bellow from the organ pipes. The parrots' bodies waddled as in a dance as they stepped to the music.

The monkey came back, this time proffering a tin cup. As if in a dream, Wanda patted her pockets for a coin but then glimpsed a ring shining at the bottom of the cup. The young organ grinder had stepped forward into the setting sun's rays, removing his hat and moustache. Flabbergasted, she saw it was Cliff who went down on one knee and conveyed his love. Wanda sank to her knees to kiss him, pulling her daughter into their embrace. The neighbors applauded.

A month later, with the porch full of wedding guests, Cloe spotted the heart of blooming wildflowers in the grass.

FarmerJohn, May 19 2002


       Not that this is necessarily an appropriate way to present a half-bakery idea, but rework this line:   

       //bound out of the wagon //   

       Otherwise, nice writing.
globaltourniquet, May 19 2002

       <temp>Cleo here, Cloe there</temp>
FarmerJohn the romance novelist earned himself a croissant
thumbwax, May 19 2002

       not a taunt sheet anywhere, thank goodness. croissant from me.
po, May 19 2002

       Quite nice, indeed.
beauxeault, May 19 2002

       You forgot the flowers
thumbwax, May 19 2002

       You also have a disconnected subordinate clause in the sentence beginning "Stomach churning".
angel, May 20 2002

       Very nice [FJ], perhaps Cliff could offer this service to tongue tied people as an alternative to the bumbling idiot boards.
IvanIdea, May 20 2002

       Nice writing, but it's baked. Haven't you ever seen Mrs. Doubtfire, where Robin Williams hires the zoo for his son's birthday?
verobay, Jul 16 2004

       Kind of like Ray Bradbury, since he got all old and sentimental. Not a criticism. +
GutPunchLullabies, Jul 16 2004


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