Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Work warehouse

Turn up and start working
  [vote for,

Say you want some experience running a coffee shop or serving people coffee or running a restaurant cafe, you can turn up at this warehouse and begin working straight away.

Imagine a warehouse converted into a large coffee shop and restaurant.

You can turn up at this workshop and just begin working a shift. You watch a short informational video about hygiene and how to do the job and you can begin working right away.

Employment contracts are handled by app and pay too.

You can arrive as a customer and after 15 minutes you could have a job and be working there.

chronological, Apr 07 2020

Brontitall https://academickid...Guide_to_the_Galaxy
A civilization destroyed by footwear. [8th of 7, Apr 07 2020]

Workhouse https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Workhouse
Not sure if this is the same as your idea... [sninctown, Apr 08 2020]


       So this is a training scheme ?
8th of 7, Apr 07 2020

       Yes. Rather than taking weeks to get a job, you can get a job in 15 minutes. On the day.   

       Do you live on this website Eighth?
chronological, Apr 07 2020

       We monitor all of the web, constantly. Is this not obvious ?   

       How is this a "job" ? Is the warehouse a real, permanent coffee shop, or merely a training venue ?   

       How does this differ from normal Mom-and-Pop store recruitment with on-the-job training ?
8th of 7, Apr 07 2020

       WIBNI. There are reasons for the time-consuming and annoying recruitment methods employers use. "here's an idea, just hire anyone off the streets" isn't a solution.
Voice, Apr 07 2020

       // "here's an idea, just hire anyone off the streets" isn't a solution //   

       Yet it seems to be the S.O.P. for political parties ?   

       No wonder they're so useless.
8th of 7, Apr 07 2020

       // Do you live on this website Eighth? //   

       The demands on the Cube and hence all the little Borg within are at a(n) historic low. With the current nanite strike and space dust jamming the gears they just remain in orbit, watching and monitoring, chortling and gloating at the human Petri dish. Trump's election? That was them as was Common Core math, melting icecaps and Kim Jong Un's haircut. COVID is just the latest.
whatrock, Apr 07 2020

       // Do you live on this website Eighth? //   

       Funniest comment I've heard in a long while.   

       The idea is rather redundant with all job training sites that have simulated workplace set-ups.
blissmiss, Apr 07 2020

       // That was them //   

       Maybe a teensy-weensy nudge, but the overwhelming force of mass human stupidity pretty much does everything without any input from us at all. It's more fun to watch the weird, self-destructive randomness at work.   

       Go ahead, humanity, beat yourselves up. Yet again. Why should we bother to build, for example, a Shoe Shop Intensifer Ray ? <link> So much easier to just wait...
8th of 7, Apr 07 2020

       I want one in 5 minutes!
pocmloc, Apr 07 2020

       You'll never get to be a galaxy-dominating aggressive collective hegemonizing swarm with an attitude like that, [poc]. You need to learn a modicum of self-control, rather than being focussed on instant gratification. Be told.
8th of 7, Apr 07 2020

       Actually quite a neat idea in some ways. [+] We don't need any more gig-economy pseudo-jobs [-]. Overall neutral.
wagster, Apr 07 2020

       But such "pseudo-jobs" - labour by the hour, or day- have always existed, an always will exist; attempts to engineer them out of an economic system will always ultimately fracture and destroy that system.   

       Markets are highly imperfect phenomena, but are evolutionary. The blunt axe of natural selection will always crush the fingers of those that try to tamper.   

       "Fairness" is a human concept, or rather a conceit. To the antelope whos newborn calf is eaten by a leopard, the world is very unfair, but leopards do not make moral choices. They kill in order to eat, that they and their offspring can survive. A useful definition of a leopard is "an animal that eats other animals". It's a leopard; that's what leopards do. If it didn't, it wouldn't be a leopard, but something else.   

       The mistake humans make is thinking that, having invented ethics and morality, they can be applied without eventual, inevitable forceful rebalancing by the "laws of nature".   

       Any reversal of entropy can only ever be local and temporary, at the expense of another system. You can save a rabbit from a fox, but on average rabbits will be eaten by foxes. If you save all the rabbits, foxes will die, and/or will predate other species. You also then have to protect and feed an ever increasing number of rabbits; it's what rabbits do.   

       The Universe is a vast, mechanistic, uncaring system in which you are utterly insignificant. Nothing you do has any meaning outside the tiny circle of firelight in which you crouch, surrounded by infinite, impenetrable darkness; very soon you will cease to exist, a victim of bleak, pitiless indifference, and all those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. There is no hope, no meaning, no redemption. You are doomed. There is nothing.   

       That message brought to you by our programme sponsor BorgCo, your friendly evil hegemonizing swarm. And now over to Kevin for tomorrow's weather....
8th of 7, Apr 07 2020

       aaaaaaaaaaaaaand always look on the bright side ...
pertinax, Apr 08 2020

       The trouble with the "gig economy" is that some people seem to think it will provide them with a steady job and income. Which is the complete opposite to the whole point of the "gig economy".
neutrinos_shadow, Apr 08 2020

       The gig economy, the modern equivalent of the depression era sight of men hanging around street corners & factory gates in big mobs hoping to to be picked by employers for a few hours of work or if they were lucky a whole day by employers who'd arrive with a truck to pick up some men.   

       For which they'd be paid an hourly rate far below any reasonable cost of living, or as often as not below subsistence.   

       Subsistence of course not being 'living' as such, but merely existing.
Skewed, Apr 08 2020

       // merely existing //   

       The answer there is to leave Swindon, shirley ?
8th of 7, Apr 08 2020

       // The Universe is a vast, mechanistic... You are doomed. //   

       Quotes like this would make great demotivational posters for office spaces.
whatrock, Apr 08 2020

       Yes, they sell well. We do discounts for quantity; you can pick 'n mix, and save on shipping & handling. We do a range of finishes too, and you can have them framed, or rolled and then just tape them up or frame them yourself. The framed ones have a razor blade and a pack of barbiturates clipped to the back.   

       Much cheaper than severance; just put a couple in the office of your target, and wait a few days.
8th of 7, Apr 08 2020

       //leave Swindon, shirley//   

       We have told her but she just won't listen.
Skewed, Apr 08 2020

       Ah, a masochist. Some people can't be helped, and indeed don't want to be. They're only happy when they're miserable.   

       "Swindon - where old people go to practice for being dead".
8th of 7, Apr 08 2020

       > WIBNI. There are reasons for the time-consuming and annoying recruitment methods employers use. "here's an idea, just hire anyone off the streets" isn't a solution.   

       It is a solution if you can vet people in a short period of time. Recruitment is too complicated, too slow and too expensive. Just hire people willing to work.
chronological, Apr 08 2020

       //"just hire anyone off the streets" isn't a solution//   

       Depends, for some low skill jobs & occupations it's an excellent solution with next to no hiring overheads.   

       Especially if you have enough unemployed people on the streets.
Skewed, Apr 08 2020

       // Just hire people willing to work. //   

       So, pick anybody from your warehouse, and they'll have the skill and experience in embedded J++ that you need to push your project, and can be instantly productive with no runup time ?   

       Works for burger-flippers, coffee peons and shelf stackers. For coders, mechanical engineers, medics, stock traders ... maybe not so well.   

       The selection procedures for anyone with more than a minimal skills set are a necessary cost. Consider:   

       You need someone to write embedded code for a portable device. You hire the first person that applies. They turn out to lack the capabilities you need. You hire the next person who applies. They turn out to lack the capabilities you need. Repeat ...   

       How long to find the right applicant by this method ? What is the cost to the project, given that while you are cycling through, you are (a) paying for a non-productive worker, (b) not progressing the project, and (c) consuming resource (admittedly relatively small) to constantly repeat the hiring process. It's actually very inefficient, compared to the normal sequence of identifying suitable candidates and then selecting the best fit "first time".
8th of 7, Apr 08 2020

       I should qualify that this idea is for   

       > ... burger-flippers, coffee peons and shelf stackers.   

       And not job roles that require expertise.
chronological, Apr 08 2020

       //I should qualify that this idea is for > ... burger-flippers, coffee peons and shelf stackers//   

       For shelf stackers (having performed the task) I can confidently state that for any semi educated semi intelligent organisms with at least the literacy of the average seven year old all you need is a few short sentences of instruction that can be delivered in under two minutes.   

       Show them the stockroom, show them the shelf & they're good to go.   

       So your warehouse is a complete waste of time & resources for that particular employment demographic.   

       I couldn't speak to burger flippers or coffee pourers (having no experience of those tasks in a commercial environment) but imagine it's much the same with them.   

       In short, anyone who's completed a secondary school education simply won't experience any worthwhile qualitative benefit from your warehouse.   

       So I presume this idea is intended for trained chimps rather than people?   

       Which is baked anyway. it's called a primary school education.
Skewed, Apr 08 2020

       Actually, trained chimps demonstrate significantly better abilities than most new graduates, who have forgotten what they learned at primary school...
8th of 7, Apr 08 2020

       That is the third-strangest way of recruiting programming talent we've ever heard of.
8th of 7, Apr 08 2020

       //For shelf stackers (having performed the task) I can confidently state that for any semi educated semi intelligent organisms with at least the literacy of the average seven year old all you need is a few short sentences of instruction that can be delivered in under two minutes.//   

       My dad used to say that the amount of experience a person had at a job was the amount of time that it took to learn.
FlyingToaster, Apr 08 2020

       //My dad used to say//   

       Not wishing to cast aspersions at anyone's dad but your dad was perhaps not really thinking things through very clearly.   

       For a simple job like shelf stacking if one found themselves in the position of still learning how to do it after less than a day I would be forced to conclude there was something seriously wrong with one, because it's not even something you should even need to 'learn'.   

       You stack it on the shelf neatly, in the spot allocated for the product on the shelf plan, labels out & with oldest dates in front.   

       That's it, there's nothing else to it, & those are just instructions not learning.   

       There are no skills to 'learn' any child hasn't already mastered b4 starting primary school.   

       Except reading, which they should have mastered in primary school.
Skewed, Apr 08 2020

       //Accept reading// I have and - occasionally - writing, also.
FlyingToaster, Apr 08 2020

       //A skill is defined as something that needs special training//   

       Yes, that was my point, please tell me you didn't miss that.   

       //sp: except//   

       Oops, cheers.
Skewed, Apr 09 2020

       So, maybe, the aptitude warehouse, to give a smorgasbord of trials for a little cash and CV bottom line.
wjt, Apr 09 2020

       In the interest of saving time, perhaps [chronological] might wish to temporarily post a resume? Would be off-topic (not an idea; more of a "recipe" for a certain future employee) but it might help readers better understand the context for these recent ideas.
sninctown, Apr 09 2020

       'Ware workhouse! </Dickens>
pertinax, Apr 09 2020

       // post kindergarden you have ready-to-go fighter pilots. //   

       Close; before finishing primary school, you will have some very capable potential drone pilots, familiar with complex computer games, having fast reactions, and most importanty an incompletey developed moral sense which allows them to kill people at a distance with no subsequent pangs of conscience since their actions are efficienty decoupled from any meaningful reality. Thus the human race progresses...
8th of 7, Apr 09 2020

       //post kindergarden you have ready-to-go fighter pilots//   

       Not at all what my posts imply, they imply that post primary school you will have ready to go shelf stackers, which according to [chron] is what this idea is supposed to provide, making the idea completely pointless.
Skewed, Apr 09 2020

       So, a primary school in a warehouse ?
8th of 7, Apr 09 2020

       Naturally, more floor space allowing for easier social distancing, to be overly safe only one desk every forty square feet.   

       The teacher will need a public address system to be heard at the back & every student will be issued with binoculars so they can see the blackboard, we already put our bid in to supply those.
Skewed, Apr 09 2020


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