Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
It's as much a hovercraft as a pancake is a waffle.

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"Rocket-propelled" Car

It looks like it's doing 95, standing still.
  (+3, -1)
(+3, -1)
  [vote for,

Following a trend toward faster and faster cars, it seems inevitable that we'll eventually end up with wheeled spacecraft that practically arrive before they leave, corner on rails and fill hospital wards with whiplash victims.

Therefore, UBCo have opted to get ahead of the curve, developing a range of vehicles that are advertised as "Faster than any car in history", etc.

The vehicles are indeed fast but are advertised as being faster than they are, with speedometers that lie to their owners on a sliding scale, so that 100mph shows as 130mph and so 140mph actually shows up as 200mph, whilst driving. Police maintain the fiction, booking these idiot drivers for improbable speeds, so they can impress their dimwitted friends later.

The addition of showers of sparks and flames from the rear of the vehicles at high speeds will no doubt appeal to the doofii (plural of doofus?) who feel they have to own one.

UnaBubba, Jan 21 2013

Marching Morons story http://en.wikipedia...The_Marching_Morons
[AusCan531, Jan 21 2013]

fraudulent odometers http://www.cbsnews....02_162-2562144.html
My speedo reads to fast, causing the odometer to read more KM, voiding my warranty sooner [Brian the Painter, Jan 21 2013]


       Needs less insulting. as for the idea [+]
Voice, Jan 21 2013

       Well, some preheating has occurred in fiction in the fifties, with cars that have wind curtains for that go fast feel, and sound effects, and spurious speedometers.
normzone, Jan 21 2013

       This was baked in the 1951 SF story "The Marching Morons" by CM Kornbluth [link]. The guy from the past quickly notices that despite all the wind-rushing noises and sparkly flames emitted from the car in which he is a passenger that it only seems to be going about 25 mph even though the speedo says 90.
AusCan531, Jan 21 2013

       I'll introduce you to some of the people who prompted the idea, [Voice].
UnaBubba, Jan 21 2013

       Cool link, [AusCan]. I'm surprised I've not heard of the story. I read a lot of SF in the 1970s and 80s.
UnaBubba, Jan 21 2013

       Vehicles which are commonly (re)equipped with larger tires have oem or aftermarket speedo-cable gears available, to get an accurate display.
FlyingToaster, Jan 21 2013

       I use my gps for a speedo because many cars from the 90's were set 6 km over all the time. Thus running out our warranties sooner. see link
Brian the Painter, Jan 21 2013

       Thank you, [AusCan531], that was the story I was thinking of.
normzone, Jan 21 2013

       I had a 1976 Gran Torino (with a Starsky and Hutch paintjob *blush*) which had the adaptor for the speedo cable installed to display Kmh on the Mph dial. I could get the speedo needle to wrap right around the dial up past Zero again.
AusCan531, Jan 22 2013

       Ventiports are available as a stick-on cosmetic accessory, so you can have those pointless simulated holes on your 1967 Cortina.
whlanteigne, Jan 24 2013


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