Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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cumoflage underoos

Make those unwanted stains dissapear...or at least make them really hard to see
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Ok. So I used to be a fan of the whitey tightys(i think i was last man standing on that one) but my penchant for blowing my load in my sleep has lead to expirements with other colours of underwear. Obviously off white hides the stains best, but who wants to walk around in underwear that look like they were washed in HARD watah? Thats where my cumoflage underoos come into play. That's right. A distinguished camoflage inspired mishmash of undeterminable white and off white shapes. I'm thinking cloud patterns would work well. I don't know why I'm putting this on halfbakery, i needs to be selling this shit to Hanes! Or fruit of the loom. but only if they give me one of those giant fruit suits.
poor now, Feb 27 2010

Alors http://en.wiktionar...une_carte_de_France
This must happen a lot in France [DenholmRicshaw, Feb 27 2010]

[link]






       Reminds me of the joke about the ship's captain who called for his first mate to bring him his red shirt when being attacked by pirates, and his brown pants when being attacked by the Spanish Armada.   

       I'm guessing the male who models these underwear, if they are ever produced, will be surprised to learn that some men ejaculate in their sleep.
rcarty, Feb 27 2010
  

       Make it a map of France - see link
DenholmRicshaw, Feb 27 2010
  

       Try cracking one off every now & again, that should solve your problem at the source.
jtp, Feb 27 2010
  

       Ewe.
rcarty, Feb 27 2010
  

       Okay, but you'll never fool Mom.
phoenix, Feb 27 2010
  

       Come on over here, I'll give you your Fruit Suit, you poor tormented soul,   

       But Wait; Hmmm..., now there's an idea,! A real fruit suit. For real. People could come and pluck their favorite fruit off your suit. Ching Ching.
blissmiss, Feb 27 2010
  

       Wife beater T's do not suffer the above described problem, but it is hard to get them the correct mottled beige unless you have access to hard watah. The proposed scheme would be useful there as well.
bungston, Feb 27 2010
  

       Good god - this is disgusting, [poor now]. You sleep in your underwear? That is gross.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 27 2010
  

       /who wants to walk around in underwear/ cum- stained or otherwise
afinehowdoyoudo, Feb 28 2010
  

       This idea could be extended to bed sheets as well.   

       //cum stains get you more lonely nights wishing you were getting laid//   

       Heed these words [poor now], for they are cuming from a man that knows!
MikeD, Feb 28 2010
  

       The camoflage pattern could blend to a different darker pattern in the rear for a true bone & bun solution.
Mustardface, Feb 28 2010
  

       //Make those unwanted stains dissapear...or at least make them really hard to see//

So changing into a clean pair isn't an option then?
DrBob, Mar 01 2010
  

       Since they're stains, they, by definition, are still there after laundering.
Mustardface, Mar 02 2010
  

       Tighty whitey's serve a purpose, keeping things from flopping around during sports and whatnot. I didn't think anyone on the planet would tolerate sleeping in them. There's your first problem.
AutoMcDonough, Mar 03 2010
  

       Strictly boxer-briefs. Grey, because they can be washed in either the dark or light loads. And strictly one type of Calvin Klein's, because they have more length to the waistband, which is useful at times. I swear most men's underwear must be designed for either <insert petite racial stereotype here> or Spongebob.
RayfordSteele, Mar 04 2010
  
      
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