Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Strap *this* to the back of your cat.

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eBay Scotland

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It's very simple really. If Scotland is a drag on the British economy, then we English ought to be telling them they are independent, rather than asking them.

If, on the other hand, it's a bonus to the economy then we ought to get a fair price for Scotland. We should therefore be accepting bids from other countries.

MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 12 2014

Buckie http://en.wikipedia...Buckfast_Tonic_Wine
What scotchmen drink when they can't get meths or brake fluid ... [8th of 7, Feb 12 2014]

Clear_20UK_20national_20debt_2e concept discussed at length on this idea, which also includes hilarious jokes about Scotland and Scots which might be silvikrined and put on display in this new ebay version. [calum, Feb 12 2014]

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       Would we just be bidding on the real estate, or does the auction include the sitting tenants ?   

       Unoccupied nice-looking mountainous sub-Arctic landmass with sea views, yes. 5 million belligerent, uncouth, incomprehensible drunks ...? No.
8th of 7, Feb 12 2014

       I think we'd just be selling the property. Tenants would have to negotiate a new agreement with the future owners.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 12 2014

       OK, we'd bid on that. Wikipedia refers to something described as the "highland clearances". We see no particular practical objection to repeating the process for the entire country.   

       Apparently a lot of the displaced carbon units ended up in the USA and the colonies. Clearly some sort of retrospective apology might be a good idea, if only to lull them into a false sense of security, ready for the next herd.
8th of 7, Feb 12 2014

       We've got Newfoundland so we're covered for rocky islands with stereotypical incomprehensible inebriants. Wales looks interesting though: can we trade Vancouver ? or Toronto ? it includes an historical hockey team.
FlyingToaster, Feb 12 2014

       Just send $3.19 in used tram tickets and you can come and take it away.   



       Very soon. As soon as possible.   

       In fact, forget the payment ... when and where can we drop it off ?
8th of 7, Feb 12 2014

       //it is England that is being disposed of //   

       Of what, exactly ? The national equivalent of chronic septic hemorrhoids ?   

       When we first read the title, we thought the idea was for a trading website where instead of paying, the 'purchasers' simply got tanked up on Buckie <link> before smashing the window with their forehead and helping themselves to whatever they wanted ...   

       //Wales looks interesting //   

       We've got it jacked up and the tow rope attached. Let us know if you're in.
8th of 7, Feb 12 2014

       Just swing it 'round the Cape and park it anywhere on the west coast. Don't mind the natives, if they even notice. If you can't actually remove Vancouver at least bury it.
FlyingToaster, Feb 12 2014

       Yeah ... OK ... errr ... gonna need some kind of a toxic waste permit for that ...
8th of 7, Feb 12 2014

       There's technically no permit required for burying "smug". Very well then, just drop it next to Nova Scotia somewheres - can't let a couple thousand years of sheepshit infused earth go to waste. I suppose you'll be wanting us to take the inhabitants too... that'll be extra: for that you get Quebec.
FlyingToaster, Feb 12 2014

       //for that you get Quebec.//   

       Merci !   

       Oh, sorry, that should be "MERCY !"   

       //can't let a couple thousand years of sheepshit infused earth go to waste //   

       Don't worry, Molson are always in the market for feedstock and flavour enhancers. You didn't believe the fairy story about how the Deepwater Horizon blowout was plugged, did you ? Did you notice how, when sulphurous salty toxic contaminants stopped being spewed out into the Gulf of Mexico, coincidentally Molson launched a new product line ?
8th of 7, Feb 12 2014

       //we English ought to be telling them they are independent//   

       A few years ago I thought of the ideal way to reduce the crime rate.   

       We just look for the regions that contribute the most to the official crime statistics, and grant them their independence, thus getting them off the official tally.
Wrongfellow, Feb 12 2014

       ebay takes a fairly large commission. If you sell it too cheap, you might start a war or a feud at least. Shipping something that size will be very expensive, suggest you use the stop by and pick it up option.
popbottle, Feb 13 2014


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