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With apologies to all the Halfbakin' Rastafarians out there...
I got myself an MP3 player the other day. My finances being as dire as they are, it's not exactly a top-of-range model, but still - it's about the size of two fat pens holding hands, and can store about two hours of music. Given that I still remember when my Dad bought his first Stereo record player
(after wisely ditching his 8-track), this compact little musical cigar strikes me as a wonder of modern technology.
So much memory in such a tiny form. Recently, I've been toying with the idea of tiny, beadlike balls of memory, with just enough capacity to store a single song on them. You could make a necklace out of your favourite songs, threading them onto a connective loop with a Bluetooth clasp at the back which would wirelessly transmit the music to your earphone ear-rings. Or imagine giving your significant other a ring in which "Your Song" is crystalogically encrypted into the jewel set into the band...
I heard a news story the other day saying how the distinctive iPod white earphones have made their wearers an easy target for muggers. Cellphones are yesterday's news - these days the black market is replete with illicit iPods, going for a song in a dodgy pub near you.
So, in the interests of camoflage and coolness; enter the i-and-iPod. It's a wig, of the dreadlock variety. On the end of each lock is a bead, which contains a song. Running through the middle of each dread is a concealed wire, which all terminate at the scalp of the wig. I'm sure by now you get the picture. Before going out, you decide which tunes you want to hear, and spend a fiddly few minutes threading those particular memory-beads on to the ends of the faux-dreads of your wig. Don said wig, and walk out into the world. Either two short dreads will have earphones on the end, and can so be jammed into your ears to let you access the music, or the music can be imparted directly into your skull via bone-conductive vibrating plates which are wired into the scalp of the wig itself. Keeps your head warm and your soul a-skanking.
"So, Mr. Marley; how do you like your doughnuts?"
"Wi' jam in."
Bit of info on Rastafarianism
Worth checking out [lostdog, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Smallest MP3 Player I Could Find
Looks about the size of a £2 coin. With 128MB of memory. Irie. [lostdog, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
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||Sheer cunning, [lostdog]. I'll hold out until the technologies miniaturize a bit more, say into a perky bob, rather than dreads if you don't mind.
re: //two short dreads will have earphones on the end, and can so be jammed into your ears //
have earphones that look like ears been invented yet?
||Hows about selling the whole album on a bead (surely the technology is capable of this. And then the music company would be able to profit from selling a copy of their product legally in the now defunct music stores and the trendy ness of a bead album would bring out even the technophobes who can't be bothered with a PC or all that uploading. (I say we go 50/50 on the royalties LostDawg.
||Obviously I would prefer that the beads were read-Write but I guess the RIAA with its impossing thumb would force a rom version, rather than risk the idea of someone keeping the files on their PC and potentially allowing a friend to borrow a copy.
||Eeew, itchy. I like the beads, but lose the wig. (Hm... ponytail fastener form factor?)
||Make the ear phones look like hearing aids, the kind with a pinkish box behind the ear. They are not very cool looking, but I have never heard about someone being robbed for those. The box behind the ear gives extra room for more batteries.
||clever thinking there kbecker, has the advantage that when you don't hear someone because of your music they arew likely to be more understanding.