Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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road-hump wine press

instead of all those sweaty feet
  (+6, -1)
(+6, -1)
  [vote for,

build your wine processing plant by a busy road – lay some durable yet pliable/squishy (that’s a technical term by the way) pipework across the road surface so that every car which passes contributes to the treading of your grapes.

the grapes are encouraged through the piping at a slow steady rate (faster in the rush-hour) by being pushed along at the start of the piping by a piston – possibly operated by hamsters on wheels but that is another dept. altogether - to give it some pressure and each downward thrust by each passing car helps the grapes to move along in a peristaltic kind of wave motion. a vacuum attachment at the other end gives the final impetus for collection into the final vat.

po, Mar 21 2003

Power Your City Through Speed Bumps http://www.wired.co...,1282,44518,00.html
Why squish sour grapes? Power an entire city... ;-) [mannby, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       vin de routes?   

       love it. +
sambwiches, Mar 21 2003

       For some reason this reminds me of when my parents visited Iran in the '70s and reported seeing freshly-minted "ancient" Persian rugs being placed out in the streets where the passing traffic would authentically "age" them.
beauxeault, Mar 21 2003

       This idea could be extended to all kinds of crushing-related manufacturing processes. A few examples that come to mind: peanut butter, orange juice, dough kneading.
Worldgineer, Mar 21 2003

       the disposal of those killed by the mob.
sambwiches, Mar 21 2003

       Or really any ground-meat possibilities. How many informants are in your hot dogs?
Worldgineer, Mar 21 2003

       Tastee Meat - tenderised by the good people of New York.
sambwiches, Mar 21 2003

       After running over the road-humps, there could be a road-side stand selling the wine in little individual serving bottles. Great for frustrated commuters stuck in traffic.
AO, Mar 21 2003

       yeah, that's a great idea. get the pissed-off drivers good and drunk. what a plan.
sambwiches, Mar 21 2003

       most of the energy used in recycling is spent pulverizing the material to be recycled... and if we must burn gas, why not give recycling a boost.
Brain Fuct, Mar 21 2003

       funnily enough [BF] may I call you BF? this idea started out as a recycling method. I couldn't iron out the details though <g>
po, Mar 21 2003

       Alcoholic "Custard" Filled Speed Bumps.
krelnik, Mar 21 2003

       Why not use the same method with Airport runways and train lines?   

       It's an all new un-renewable energy source that gets the most from unrenewabe energy!!
Cw!s2Phar, Mar 21 2003

       Wait a second here. I thought we were talking about "speed humps" those large speed-bump type things. I'm not flying into an airport that uses speed bumps.
Worldgineer, Mar 21 2003

       Why not? Airports that use speed bumps are safer for all concerned - especially baggage handlers playing along the sides of the runways...
Cw!s2Phar, Mar 21 2003

       Ok, I'll give you that one (those wacky handlers). But I fear derailment on train lines.
Worldgineer, Mar 21 2003

       So does everyone though.....   

       Here's an extra idea... For train lines why not have a grape crushing system that runs thus...   

       Train travels the line and smashes a large sphere attached to an arm high into the air. The arm (supported like a single spoke from a Ferris wheel) spins up and over. It returns to where it started (under much velocity) after the train has passed.   

       As the last carriage of the train leaves it triggers a large piston, loaded with grapes to be moved into the path of the rapidly approaching sphere. When the sphere collides with the piston you have alot of crushed grapes!!!!!   

       The system will then re-set its self for the next train.
Cw!s2Phar, Mar 21 2003

       this sounds like our old mail collection system.
po, Mar 21 2003

       I completed your 2nd croissant.. Yay idea :)
JackandJohn, Mar 21 2003

       I? I always think of you as *we*
po, Mar 22 2003

       In another vein, your system could work like blue blood flows back to the heart, squeezed in the vessels by muscles with backflow stopped by valves.
FarmerJohn, Mar 22 2003

       I think this is a very very creative idea... I'd normally "+" it but for a few practical aspects:   

       Where on Earth will you get "durable yet pliable" material? One that does not need regular servicing or replacement and is hard enough to take the weight of traffic and their overweight drivers.   

       Also, if the grapes are already being pushed into the pipe by a piston (hamster-controlled or otherwise), why don't you just use that procedure to squish them? Why do you need extra pressure from another angle?   

       Lastly, I don't know much about the wine-making industry, but I think most squishing techniques will work out cheaper than attaching a "vacuum attachment" alone.   

       So all in all, My mouse pointer is hovering over "-"
joker_of_the_deck, Mar 23 2003

       I wouldn't do that if I were you - po has mob contacts.
thumbwax, Mar 23 2003

       The grape beyond (+)   

       Reminds me of a pic I saw in a coffee-table book. Italians treading nude in the grape vat. Just one of the reasons I don't drink.
RayfordSteele, Mar 23 2003

       [joker] you could try that stuff that they wrap car wheels with - rubber?
The Kat, Mar 23 2003

       [thumb] Mrs Mob?
po, Mar 24 2003

       This is another great barmy invention. well done (+).   

       Ooh, it's given you 2 1/2 - well done!
Seaneeboy, Mar 24 2003

       Yet another croissant to add to the pile [po] – nicely done, and complements to [FJ] for the valves anno as well.
Shz, Mar 24 2003

       Remind me never to drink wine, rayford.
Face, Sep 07 2003

       you're alright face, they kept their socks on.
po, Sep 07 2003

       Oh look, I've found another clever [po] idea. +   

k_sra, Jan 12 2004

       clever, it could even work. Fortunatley 99.99% of all wine today is made in a juice press, and not with feet as was traditional.
venomx, Jan 13 2004

       The winery should be named RoadHump.
bungston, May 20 2007

       Peristalsis and hamsters? [+]
pertinax, May 21 2007

       pleese. no wee furry things hurt in the pursuit of this idea.   

       <strokes furry thing>
po, May 21 2007

       No, no, I didn't mean peristalsis applied painfully to hamsters! I meant... Oh, you know what I meant.
pertinax, May 22 2007

       Love the idea. only problem is in how you are gonna design it. It would work for an average car or something of less weight. But a truck would pulverise the system and if it was set to work with the weight of lets say 60 ton of a truck and cargo, any lower wieght would be insufficient.
Maltese lunatic, May 23 2007

       People in Laos lay stalked plants out on the road to be crushed by passing cars and busses full of tourists
wtanaka, May 23 2007

       Great use of space [po], bunnage pour tu. [+]   

       This is one of those ideas that lost all its votes in the crash. Makes me a bit weepy sometimes.
theleopard, May 23 2007


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