Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Bone to the bad.

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lurch

lurch1906 at yahoo dot com





Everything you need to know about a man's character can be determined from how he reacts to a hangfire.





Limited Lifetime Warranty: you break it, you're dead





Nikola Tesla's kids really hated it when they got grounded.





Two heads may be better than one, but half a head and no heads at all are approximately the same value.





Argues with cats.





Melogrammatic.





With enough ping-pong balls to sink a battleship.





Real smoke. Fake mirrors.





Get your mime out of the gutter.





I think, therefore I am.
You're not thinking, so why do you still exist?





Author of "Adventures of a Line-Following Robot in the Land of 'O's"





I don't know if I'm in that Ooolongftangftangbank thing or not.





The pen may well be mightier than the sword - but it fails to make a quick, clean ending for him who decides to end it all by falling upon it.

[Sep 15 2002, last modified Oct 19 2009]		    
(+2) 3-speed Wheelchair
(+8) Acupuncture for autos
(+10)(+10) All Weather Olympic Torch Lighter
(+8, -1) Anti-superstitious cat bleach
(+18)(+18) Auto Lepidoptera
(+2) AWACS Pizza
(+28, -3)(+28, -3)(+28, -3) Belly-dump Hearse
(+3) Blowfish Lightmask
(+19, -1)(+19, -1) Blowfish Tearaways
(+4) Borborygmi Modulator
(+6, -1) Bouguer Deflection Flat-Planet Positioning system
(+8) Bowling billiards
(+48, -1)(+48, -1)(+48, -1) Canary Resuscitator
(+6, -1) Cell phone vibrator - seismographic mode
(+7) Coffee table marker lights
(+13)(+13) Control-freak's Blender
(+2, -1) Cow-y-oke
(+7, -1) Crystal TV
(+34)(+34)(+34) Desk Upgrade Cover
(+11, -2)(+11, -2) Dog Nav
(+8, -1) Dropped Food Safety Estimator
(+21)(+21) Earthquake HangTags
(+2) Engineer's Easel
(+6) Google Earth Date/Timestamp
(+9, -1) Gregorian Chant Children's Songs
(+2) Halo generating hat
(+13)(+13) Head Down Display
(+7) Helocaber
(+3, -2) Human Resources Cannonball
 Indoor Biathlon
(-2) Internal Dryer Drum Clutch
(+6) Laparoscopic Road Repair
(+10)(+10) Laser Fire Exit Pointer
(+8, -1) Low-Wattage Rasterized Scanning Toaster
(+10, -1)(+10, -1) Marceau Park
(+5, -1) Musical self-stirring thermo-mug
(+4) Null Keyboard Plug
(+13)(+13) Propane fueled video display
(+4) Prosthetic Tree Limb
(+11)(+11) Razor Odometer
(+4, -1) Recumbent motorized wheelchair
(+5) Road Construction Webcam
(+7) Royal Transfusions
(+17)(+17) Sign Language Yodeling
(+11)(+11) Squeaky Toy Silicone Implant
(+3) Stellar Flash Photography
(+31)(+31)(+31) Termite router
(+3) Tinkertoy bog roll adapter
(+1) Tongue Cot
(+34, -1)(+34, -1)(+34, -1) Tongue remover
(+1) Transatlantic Custard Pipeline
(+15, -4)(+15, -4) Underwater Sumo
(+9)(+9) Viking headphones
(+7, -1) Watermelon Snorkel
(+8, -1) "What was that?" recorder
 Whiteboard Scanner Backup & Defrag Bot
(+7, -1) Windowless airliner
(+3) Wood scent air freshener & alarm
(+9)(+9) Zip Tie Gender Changer
 

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