Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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5000-Meter Solitaire

The sport for loners
  (+6, -2)
(+6, -2)
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In this hybrid sport / card game , you play standard Klondike solitaire (the kind with the seven piles). But, each pile is located 50 meters away from any other pile. Your stock card pile is also a long distance away, and the four Ace-thru-King playoff piles are nowhere near each other or anything else. You have to hike up steep hills to get to them.

You are not allowed to carry more than one related group of cards at a time when playing this game. You will need to use your memory, as running off to check on piles that are worthless will cost you both time and energy.

Here's how the competitive version works:
We do not want to penalize contestants just because they get an unlucky deal and can only play two cards. So, as a contestant, you play again and again until you win (are able to play all 52 cards). In Klondike solitaire, this happens about 1 out of 5 times. On your winning deal, you are timed from start to finish, and this is the time you are credited with. Prior failures might eat up some energy, but they won't count towards your score, and you can forfeit a game anytime when it becomes obvious you won't be winning on that one.

The piles are located so that on average, you will have to run 5,000 meters to finish a complete game.

phundug, Aug 17 2003


       Like the 'World's Strongest Loser'. I LIKE it!
p.s. Is there a Spider version?
gnomethang, Aug 17 2003

       ... because 5000-Meter Minesweeper is just too obvious.
Detly, Aug 17 2003

       LOL [reensure], bound to be much more effective than 12 steps, eh? Added plus is that you don't have to choose a 'higher power'...
X2Entendre, Aug 17 2003

       checking the stats, we've played 1254 games of klondike. Man would we be in shape.
oxen crossing, Aug 17 2003

       Play in the stairwells of the Trump towers for the indoor version.   

       Make the cards out of lead or slabs of marble.
Trodden, Aug 18 2003

       Nice idea [phun].
silverstormer, Aug 18 2003

       "5000-meter solitaire is just a good walk spoiled" anon.
nichpo, Aug 18 2003

       This could open up possibilities for other long-distance card games - anyone for a few rounds of Bridge & Tunnel? North plays from the Bronx, South from Brooklyn, West from Hoboken, and East from Queens.
friendlyfire, Aug 18 2003

       I guess there could be Internet Solitaire, where each pile is located in a different city, and you use web cams to view them all. Gives you an odd feeling of exotic journey.
phundug, Aug 18 2003

       Games with exercise is good ideas.
artist, Aug 18 2003

       This is phun, but then most of your ideas are phun. +
k_sra, Aug 18 2003

       I like it.   

       So, this implies some 12 isolated sets of cards, right?   

       (As in 7 preliminary stacks, 4 final stacks and 1 deck.)   

       But how are we gonna build up the sport? Let's not condemn your innovation to the status of the javelin throw, seen once every four years at 3 am on the telly! Instead, let's have a primetime TV version. So how do we get the masses to watch million dollar playoffs? Hmmm ...   

       I got it: introduce blood!   

       Make it a contact sport, with five players playing simultaneously on a soccer/football field. The 60 tables (12 card sets x 5 players) would be placed at the ends, along the sidelines, and in the middle of the field.   

       Penalties for cards knocked out of your hands (fumbles). Disqualification for upsetting someone else's table.
ertdfgcvb, Aug 18 2003

       'Jeux Sans frontiers'/'Its a Knockout' again. Where is Stuart Hall?
gnomethang, Aug 18 2003

       Certainly there's a way to add monster trucks to this sport.
Worldgineer, Aug 18 2003

       I like [ravenswood]'s Idea.
Face, Sep 09 2003

       very good. get my vote
Turkish, Sep 09 2003

       wow, maybe if this were a mandated sport, it could solve the 'obesity epidemic' +
benlevi7, Sep 10 2003

       5000-meter sudoku would be entertaining, too. (Played with binoculars; each grassy region on the field would contain a lawnmower-sized powder machine like they use to mark football fields...)
phundug, Jan 24 2006


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