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A new name for BP

The name of BP is tarnished. It has to be changed
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The news for months describes how BP (formerly knows as British Petroleum) is causing a massive oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico near New Orleans resulting in an environmental catastrophe and economic collapse of the fishing and tourism industries and their dependent industries along most of the south Gulf coast, even perhaps along Florida. If the oil is caught by the gulf-stream, the beaches and coastal environments along the east coast of the US, perhaps to northern Europe and the lovely Isles will be contaminated.

Everyone correctly blames BP for not providing the maximum protection during its oil drilling operations. It probably paid-off a governmental agency to be allowed to drill for undersea oil over public lands with the barest of safety equipment and safety procedures, allowing only one fail-safe measure to be employed instead of several independent safety means considering the scope of operations and possible damages that could be caused if failure occurs. We are reaping the results of BP’s machinations with corrupted governmental agencies. I hope the public reacts with anger and demands better oversight and safety as conditions for future operations.

While BP is trying to mend its public image, it is apparent that mention of BP or British Petroleum will for years or perhaps even decades, invoke images of uncontrolled oil and gas pouring out of a broken pipe underwater, notoriously broadcast 24 hours per day, 7 days a week on the internet. Months of images will reminds us for generations how BP ruined the environment. BP has even surpassed Exxon Valdiz as the world's most famous polluter.

The stock price of BP has plummeted as fears of public reaction to BP infamy, costs of clean-up and compensation for losses and fines will significantly reduce BP’s profits and dividends to its shareholders. Moreover, if BP fails, it will not be able to plug-up the oil flow, or compensate the unemployed fishermen, or be responsible for cleaning up the mess. After all, BP is a limited liability entity and can just close-up its shop leaving everyone to their own devices and loses. That’s the deal with corporations.

BP therefore needs a new image, even a new name to help stay-off failure as a viable business and continue to be responsible for plugging the broken pipe, pay for costly remediation and compensation for the damages it caused.

The new name should evoke images of cleanliness, an entity that is environmentally healthy, wholesome, nice to animals, seabirds and fish and extremely careful with its drilling operations held out-at-sea far from public scrutiny and governmental controls and cares for babies.

While my proposed name could be improved, I propose, as a start the name PB, standing for the initials of Public Good as its new and sanitized name. What name can you come up with?

el dueno

el dueno, Jun 27 2010


       companies have been changing their names to avoid negative consequences as long as companies have existed. Also [m-f-d] rant.
Voice, Jun 27 2010

       This is excellent satire.
blissmiss, Jun 27 2010

       I don't buy it. Using that rationale, Toyota would have changed their name due to their recent blunders. Although it may be popular to beat up BP at the moment, the government's shoddy oversight, lax/nonexistent guidance, and goofy drilling restrictions helped to set the stage for this colossal tragedy. I only count BP as **partially** responsible... My guess is that BP will remain BP unless this drives them into bankruptcy and ruin, after which the taxpayer will once again be left holding the bag. Swell. Grrrrr. [-]
Grogster, Jun 27 2010

       Sorry but I don't see this as anything more than a call for a list.   

       el 2frieso   

       Straight after the Exxon Valdez disaster, oil companies stopped naming their ships after themselves.
hippo, Jun 27 2010

       Some comedy series in the '70s, whose name i've long forgotten, suggested that BP should stand for "Brain Pressure" and be a counselling organisation.
nineteenthly, Jun 27 2010

       Cleaning up the mess would go a long way towards cleaning up BP's rep. They should concentrate on that.   

       I think they've already used up any "We love the environment." goodwill they may have garnered with that goofy little green sun logo of theirs.
doctorremulac3, Jun 28 2010

       Broken Pipe is pretty good, you used it enough.
rcarty, Jun 28 2010

       Maybe if they hadn't gone pretending to love the environment in the first place this would have never happened. PR money is better spent elsewhere.   

       Then again, maybe just a little oil-ball man with big friendly eyes and little white gloves on his hands can tell us all about the clean-up efforts.
daseva, Jun 28 2010

       They used to sell a bath cleaner with the cute name of "Beep". I kid you not.
wagster, Jun 28 2010

       As much as we'd like to blast these guys for carelessness, I'm willing to bet that the shortcuts taken are standard industry practice in the name of 'shareholder value.'
RayfordSteele, Jun 29 2010

       As it stands, this idea doesn't seem very novel. But what about the reverse? Pass legislation *prohibiting* a name change. Force BP, or its successor after bankruptcy to wear that damaged brand around its figurative neck like an oily albatross.
mouseposture, Jun 29 2010

       I'll bun that mouse
Voice, Jun 29 2010


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