Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Acne Ants

let bugs eat your acne
  (+5, -9)
(+5, -9)
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Got a problem with acne? Just rest on your back (maybe in the sunlight so you can tan too) and let these little acne loving ants go to work. They swarm all over you (or maybe just your face), removing every pimple. Think of those powerful little ant jaws surgically nipping all your pimples.

Now, how to do get the right sort of ant, so they don't remove your face along with the acne, or take your face and leave the acne? Maybe some tinkering with genetics. But if that doesn't work, maybe nanotechnology can produce artificial ants. Or perhaps other insects. Maggots are used to clean dead flesh from wounds, and everyone has heard of bloodletting with leeches. Maybe even an acne mosquito, so you wouldn't have to recline to get your face in reach.

ThotMouser, May 05 2002

For your hair http://www.halfbake...idea/perfect_20hair
not ants [mrthingy, Oct 21 2004]


       Every now and then someone says something so inane that it makes you not feel so bad about something you said. Thank you for your invaluable service, Thot, I now realize I'm not the dumbest hammer in the bag.
globaltourniquet, May 05 2002

       I remember reading a Primo Levi story about incentives for insects doing stuff. Dragonflies collecting berries, ants working on microcircuitry.   

       What sort of incentive would you give an ant community to crawl over your face and eat the mess left over from fast food and hormones?
andrewuk, May 05 2002

       This is icky, but pretty darn original.   

       "I now realize I'm not the dumbest hammer in the bag."   

       Methinks you never were.
bristolz, May 06 2002

       "Dumbest hammer in the bag" is good (though as bristolz notes you are far from it). I saw "not the sharpest fingernail on the chalkboard" over at another forum.
Dog Ed, May 06 2002

       Every now and then, do you have to pop the queen ant onto your bathroom mirror? What prevents army of ant wars when you're making out with your pimply girlfriend?
spartanica, May 06 2002

       [gt] Sooo glad I made your day. I hope you find other ideas (esp. mine) as, um, elevating.   

       I forgot sweat bees! Maybe do up a stingerless variety.   

       Hadn't considered personalized armies of ants. Was thinking more like a parlor open to all comers. The ants would be discriminating maybe, but not so discriminating that there's only one person per colony.   

       Icky? Well, I too am a touch squeamish about these sorts of symbiotic ideas-- birds cleaning teeth, bacteria aiding the digestion, and other violations of personal and intimate space. (How about that euphemism "do the nasty"?) These are at least not parasitic, as the diet pill idea some enterprising and reckless sort promoted in the 19th century. You only had to take one pill to lose weight. It was most efficacious, but there were undesirable side effects....   

       These kind of ideas are good enough for Nature, so I feel they're worth a look. Just need some mental adjustment on our part.
ThotMouser, May 11 2002

       Ants on human skin would most likely irritate it further before they'd ever clean it up. What's to motivate ants from gnawing at blemishes - the smell of pus? gmbl...! (I need a vomit emoticon here.) :-
XSarenkaX, Jun 04 2002

       How/why would ants remove acne. Do they have antibacterial stuff in their feet, or do they suck the goo out?
brockbridges2, Feb 14 2003

       ThotMouser, you are one sick puppy.
snakefreak, Oct 23 2003

       I like it. Don't hate.
sninctown, Nov 30 2005

       definitly seen worse
PollyNo9, Nov 30 2005


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