Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
I think this would be a great thing to not do.

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Annual Pro-Capitalism March

Britains richest take the streets back
  (+12, -9)
(+12, -9)
  [vote for,

Every year, the 5,000 or so richest people in Britain should hold a march reminding everyone how great money is. Richard Branson should lead the procession which will work it's way through London forcing Big Macs down people's throats while bikini-clad, diamond encrusted women hand out free money and share certificates in fossil fuel companies. It should culminate with speeches championing capitalism, given by world leaders of the past who have found out first hand that Communism is inherently flawed.
brewmaster, May 01 2002

Sydney Morning Herald report on May 1st http://www.smh.com..../1019441384093.html
"Police are abusing horses!" screamed a protester as his comrades scattered fizzing red fireworks and scores of marbles in front of ten charging mounted police. [angel, May 01 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Treatment of May Day protestors in London last year http://www.guardian...7369,487931,00.html
Held for up to 8 hours; women forced to urinate in public streets. [pottedstu, May 01 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Italian anti-capitalist protests http://www.infoshop.org/news6/genoa.html
Or we could just shoot the Queen. [pottedstu, May 01 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

(?) Defensive May Day Shopkeeper http://myweb.tiscal...alfe/windowsign.jpg
Traitor to the cause, I say! [bartkusa, May 03 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]


       Shouldn't it be a motorized parade, rather than a march? Clog up the streets with your gas-guzzlers?
angel, May 01 2002

       This is about defending a way of life, man.
brewmaster, May 01 2002

       Yay, let's make the Queen and the Duke of Westminster march through the streets of London, and have the police imprison them for 8 hours without any access to toilets, and then beat them up. Croissant!
pottedstu, May 01 2002

       Got any backup for that implication, [pottedstu]?
angel, May 01 2002

       Good lord! It appears that brewmaster and I are of the same mind. I have just returned from George Square (Glasgow) where about 1000 badly dressed lefties are whooping it up in a noisy and pointless manner. For next year, I'm going to walk about the square anticlockwise (for they move clockwise, the fools!) sporting a "Yay! Capitalism!" T-shirt and waving a banner that reads "I love shopping too much to care about poor people." I'll take them all on.   

       Incidentally, the longest the police can detain you without access to a lawyer is 6 hours, during which time they are entitled to interview you. They don't do this because any evidence gathered in this manner will be subject to a human rights challenge.
calum, May 01 2002

       they were not detained as such but not allowed to leave the area for several hours, no food, no amenities. tourists and children got caught up in the demo. I believe they are resorting to court action for it as we speak. doubt if any innocents got beaten up though, pot.
po, May 01 2002

       I am just about to leave work in Covent Garden: no violence in the streets yet but there is still time. I noticed that the tattoo and piercings shop near my work is suspiciously closed too so I may have to loot it as I pass. Fair enough I say.
brewmaster, May 01 2002

       Aha, thank you po. I see. Well, that action could be challengeable as an infringement of (a) the right to liberty and/or (b) right not to be subjected to degrading/humiliating treatment and/or (c) right to privacy. However, any such action is a waste of time as the courts will say "the interference with the rights of the protestors was a proportionate and justifiable infringment, having regard to the requirements of public policy." Translation: "Beat it, scumbags."
calum, May 01 2002

       not so sure calum - watch this space.
po, May 01 2002

       <flame war ignition> Everyone below the top ten percent in net worth that calls himself or herself a capitalist is fooling himself or herself </flame war ignition>
globaltourniquet, May 01 2002

       Below the top 10% net worth of what scope?
phoenix, May 01 2002

       global scope
globaltourniquet, May 01 2002

       Probably, then. In fact, everyone here at the HB probably qualifies as being in the top 10% (globally).
phoenix, May 02 2002

       I'm going to fall off my chair if you mke me laugh any harder Brewmaster.   

       I think you should have another parade for the consumption and subjigation of other cultures. it could involve marching through various historical locations and slapping price tags on national monuments.
Isaac, May 02 2002

       ...And as the proletariat rise up against their common enemy, they shall be reminded that their common enemy provides them with food, shelter, technology, modern health-care, shampoo AND conditioner (IN THE SAME BOTTLE!!!!!) and Cliff Richard.   

       The proletariat will then realise it is in their best interests to be sumbissive to their superior masters, and will once again take their rightful place at the very bottom of the dung heap we call society.   

       Who could trust a class of people who take it upon themselves to vote on 'stars in their eyes'?   

       -These were the original notes Marx made in Das Kapital, but were subsequently removed by somebody who wished to remove them.
aaarrrggh, May 02 2002

       Matthew Kelly, I'd guess.
calum, May 02 2002

       i would respect the protest/marches if they actually had a consolidated purpose. but they dont. they just say small bits are bad, without having a solution.
i think that we should fight them by trivialising it all. next year im going march for "more peas with steak, but less with porK". what are you guys going to do?

though actually listening to some of the protestors last night on the news, can only imagine most of them are already doing this & are ripping the piss...
mymus, May 02 2002

       Fewer peas with pork, you plebian
globaltourniquet, May 02 2002

       If the peas are mushy, then "less" is correct.
calum, May 02 2002

       I beg to differ. In fact, properly one would say "Less pea-mush with pork" or "Fewer mushy peas with pork."
globaltourniquet, May 02 2002

       I stand corrected.
calum, May 02 2002

       I say people should just leave mushy peas alone. And yes, of course I was talking about Matthew Kelly. I hate that bastard.
aaarrrggh, May 02 2002

       sounds like we already have a split in the peas pleas please campaign. it really will be anarchy on the streets next year...
mymus, May 03 2002

       The wheels of the capitalist machine have forever been oiled with the mushy peas of the workers.
brewmaster, May 03 2002

       ohhhh. I have to admit I have used the original form of that statement in all seriousness once. it was received rapturously. Given the audience (Women's NUS), that wasn't difficult.
sappho, May 03 2002

       Wonderful idea!   

       During the march the pro-capitalist marches could assemble around Karl Marx's grave, daub it with grafitti (I recommend, "you dialectic pseudo-anarcho-syndicalistic twerp") and give it a turf mohawk.
drew_uk, May 05 2002

       Don't we already have a kind of similar Annual Commercialism Pageant? Happens every year, centred around the 25th of December. I forget what it's called...   

       Or I suppose you could argue that we have a Capitalism March every weekday, from about eight in the morning until nine o'clock. But it's forced by Capitalism rather than being a celebration of it.
lostdog, Mar 20 2003

       Because non-capitalists don't have to work?
angel, Mar 21 2003


       we did a mock pro-capitalist march in Manchester a couple of years ago. It was Manchester's 'biggest day', being the climax of the Commonwealth Games and full of tourists. you can see pictures of it in the street art archive of our site... www.nato.uk.net
qwe, Mar 04 2004

       If you were going to do a pro-capitalisim march you'd have to include the cheap computers, telephones, pakaged food, clothing provided to us by the competition strong capitalisim system.   

       Anyways, when I think of rich british people I think of dukes and dutchesses who's money has very little to do with capitalisim and more to do with inheritance. This would work better in Canada or the States.
SystemAdmin, Mar 04 2004

       Oh barf barf BARF BARF BARF! BARF!!
egads, Mar 05 2004

theircompetitor, May 05 2019

       Every day is a pro-capitalism march, the march of progress. In science, technology, medicine and the freeing the common man from the shackles of dumb, backbreaking physical labor.   

       But communism is like... really good 'n stuff, 'cause like, it's equal 'n shit but not like, all fucked up like capitalism 'r whatever.   

       I like to consider both sides of the debate.
doctorremulac3, May 05 2019

       The trouble is, both capitalism and communism have their good (and bad) points, but people can't seem to figure out how to come to a happy medium. Any mention of (even parts of) one to those who support the other is met with anger.
neutrinos_shadow, May 05 2019

       I'm not familiar with any definition of communism that allows for good parts. Communist states cannot sustain without hard currency and buying what they cannot produce from capitalist states
theircompetitor, May 05 2019

       The good part of communism is that humans have mostly freed themselves from its barbarian horror. Even those on the far left understand it was a blight on humanity and endeavor to salvage socialism, the less virulent younger brother of communism by distancing themselves from Stalin, Pol Pot and Mao, although they still love Castro.   

       We've already done the best of both worlds thing. The United States is a free market capitalist driven state with many socialist programs. One would be Social Security. Medicare would be another as would welfare, food stamp programs and the like. But leftists in this country act like it's never been tried before anywhere, much less here and our whole culture is a page out of a Charles Dickens novel with two sides: the evil rich and the virtuous poor.   

       It's a scam though, socialism now is the big money world bank's latest plot to enslave as many people as possible with permanent debt to establish a slave class and a ruling class. The front people for this latest plan portray themselves as Che Guevara and in a way they are, they've revolutionaries for the world banking organizations and will finally set them free from not owning everything and everybody.   

       The revolution will payed for with loans that are designed to never be paid off.   

       If I'm wrong, great. If not, well, this is something that should probably be addressed.   

       And another thing... if I were about to enslave a population the first thing I'd do is set everybody against each other. Race against race, religion against religion, even sex against sex. Tell them that the only reason they have problems is THOSE GUYS!.   

       Not that this is anything new, this is just the newest installment of "Let's Control The World!". Very old game, just a new generation of players.   

       And by the way, please forgive me for my un- fashionable take on communism, my grandmother and grandfather moved here to escape Stalin. The rest of my family had to live with, and die with, a guy every bit as bad as Hitler but with a much better P.R. department evidently.
doctorremulac3, May 05 2019

       <Glances over at parade>   

       Oh this is convenient..   


       You there [8th]? how much for a small planetary strike?   

Skewed, May 05 2019

       I can't make this year's pro-capitalist march, but I'll send along some of my people.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 05 2019


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