Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Antisocial distancing kit

Stay safe
  [vote for,

"Social distancing" is being promoted to the gullible and credulous as a sort of ju-ju to slow the inexorable spread of Covid-19.

Observational evidence is that the compliance in the general population is very poor.

It's all very well to try and keep your distance from others, but what if someone else doesn't bother ?

What you need, as a matter of urgency, is a BorgCo Antisocial Distancing Kit.

Packed in a neat shoulder bag are a range of items to allow you to protect yourself; a loudhailer so you can shout "Keep away !"; sanitizer-soaked tennis balls to throw at the offender to deter them; a two-metre telescopic stick that can be used to demonstrate the minimum safe distance; and a hat with radial PIR sensors and a rangefinder that sounds a loud alarm when a target violates the perimiter.

For the paranoid, a scrolling, flashing LED sign that reads "I have had a Coronavirus and recovered"* should be enough to send the average idiot running for their life.

Not available in the shops ! Order now and BorgCo will ship your kit direct from our warehouse** ! We accept cash, cheque, bank transfer, and all major credit and charge cards ! Delivery guaranteed before Christmas !

*This is actually true for all humans. They just may not have had the currently circulating strain. But since the environment is awash with these viruses, without extensive, expensive and slow testing, it's impossible to disprove the assertion. Note the phraseology; "a" Coronavirus, not "the" Coronavirus ...

** Ok, so it's in China. What are you so worried about ?

8th of 7, Apr 26 2020


       Just cough a lot, and sniff some ragweed.
RayfordSteele, Apr 27 2020


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